mary1979

Hello, all --
I just joined this site, and I'm hoping it will help keep me on the path to a sober-free life. I had my second OWI last April, which was a real wake-up call. I am currently in court-ordered counseling, which I find helpful; and I have an ignition interlock device installed in my car.

I would like to hear feedback from anyone who has been arrested for one or more OWI/DUI'S and how they got over the guilt and shame. I am thankful that it happened, because it made me wake up and realize I just couldn't drink anymore. It feels good to be here....

Anna

I haven't, but I sure could have been. It was simply luck.

I did (and still do sometimes) have a huge amount of guilt and shame, mostly for my children who were teens at the time. The thing is, you need to forgive yourself because you won't be able to heal and grow if you continue to bombard yourself with negativity. And, forgiving yourself doesn't mean forgetting what happened, it means accepting what happened. For me, journaling was the answer. It wasn't something I wanted to do, but was getting desperate. A Gratitude Journal is also a good idea.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Mary!!

SoberHoopsFan

I had a DWI 11 years ago, but unlike you, it did not effect my resolve to keep binge drinking. I laughed my way through the 16 hours of court-ordered alcohol counseling then abused alcohol for another 11 years. So first, congrats on using this negative event as an impetus to change (and congrats on 93 days!!). Looking back now that I am sober, I am simply thankful that my drunk driving never harmed anyone. I continued to drink and drive after my DWI (although much less frequently) and was putting others at risk. It is shameful for sure, but by not drinking we will never put others at risk like that again. Holding onto the guilt and shame can be bad though, I'm trying to let them go and focus on moving forward.

mary1979

Sober Hoops: I also laughed my way through the first one and lied to that counselor that I was being sober, as it was a court-ordered requirement. This time around, I'm being honest and listening closely! Thanks for your input.

Kevin78

Well done on 93 days Mary.

Sorry, What is OWI?

Hevyn

Welcome Mary! I think it'll really help you to be with us - you're among friends who understand.

I had 2 DUI's. I was like SoberHoops - I didn't stop drinking because of them. I did stop driving though - was scared to death of being stopped again. (Oh, the horror of those flashng red lights in our rearview mirror!) It was the beginning of the end for me - I never enjoyed drinking as much after the legal troubles. In my heart I knew I was losing control & that stopping would be the only way to stay safe. It took me years to take it seriously though - that's when I found SR.

We're glad to have you with us - you can do it Mary. It's great to be free.

Dee74

Hi mary

I have no experience to share but I wanted to welcome you and say congrats on your 93 days

D

SoberHoopsFan

Yeah, counseling can be helpful if you take it seriously and keep an open mind. Glad to hear you are getting something out of it

least

Welcome to the SR family and congrats on 93 days sober.

mistory5

I am on my second dui with interlock installed although I won get my licsene back till next July. I know exactly how u feel. But I find myself going back and forth with how I feel about it sometimes I feel guilty shameful, sad, angry at myself and sometimes angry at the cops for stopping me(yes I said it) . Sometimes I feel grateful that God had to allow something negative to happen to get my attention and I am so grateful I didn't kill anyone or myself. Honestly I'm not ready to die. Alcohol will eventually kill me or have me institutionlized. I am working on forgiving myself which has been highly recomended by AA , counselors and my church. Its been difficult but I'm not giving up on it. Not only did I hurt myself by loosing another licsense it hurts my 14 yo son. You see his dad is dead we don't have much family support or friends ( probably from me drinking) and we live in area with no public transportation. So he got screwed too by my choice to drink and drive and that really hurts. In the beginning I still drank to try to forget about it. But the healing and moving forward from this valley can not be done with my mouth wrapped around a bottle. I don't know if you have a higher power but if u do u need to start there with asking for help to forgive yourself and get rid of the guilt and shame. Btw I got my dui 2 weeks after loosing my job for showing up for work drunk. I use to be a respected health care professional but alcohol has brought me to a rock bottom, but I'm sick of this and I'm ready to fight back and rebuild my life. I don't think it will be easy but with faith and doing the right thing and using all the tools I'm gaining from my church counseling, sober recovery site ,sponsor and AA I'm seeing some light at the end of the tunnel finally. I hope you find some peace about what has happened and be able to move forward. Just thank God you didn't kill anyone..you think your feeling guilty now? And another thing this might sound right to say but sometimes I say it: " I'm not the first one to have 2 dui, but I'm not willing to get a 3rd" and its a reality that there r a lot of alcoholics that have gotten 3 or more. So forgive yourself but don't get complacent when this ordeal is a faint memory!

mary1979

Hello, Mistory --
I guess that we have a few things in common. I am so sorry to hear about your ordeal but very inspired that you're not going to give up. I wish you the best of luck in your recovery. You will do it this time!

It sounds like you got your last DUI about the same time I did. I got mine on April 25th, 2014 (last time I drank). My previous was in November of 2012, so I didn't even make it a year and a half in between. It's odd, because I drank and drove many times in the last 25 years, and it took them this long to nail me -- twice in a pretty short period of time.

I definitely believe in a Higher Power, and that's how I've gotten this far. I'm seeing a counselor who is a recovering alcoholic and VERY pro AA. I'm not sure if I want to go that route quite yet. Right now, I'm reading books and going on the internet a lot. My family is also a wonderful support system.

Anyway, just wanted to thank you for taking the time to write back. I definitely will work on letting go of my guilt. As you said, it could have been SO much worse. Take care!!!! Mary

mary1979

Here in Wisconsin, it's Operating While Intoxicated (same as driving under the influence).

mistory5

Yes we do have something in common. I got my dui on april 20 2013 convicted july 11 2013. 1st one 2010 and like you I drove over 20 years while drinking and didn't get caught. I chalk it up getting caught to me asking God to help me escape this alcoholism. It took some real life upsetting events to make me get serious about working on sobriety. Keep your head up other people have done things I'm sure they aren't proud of you just don't know about it. My God says everyone falls short. Just keep focusing on the actions you need to take to get yourself back on the straight and narrow. I'm quite aware others will criticise me either behind my back or to my face but I refuse to give those voices any power over me and send me back to drinking. Drinking is what I would do if I let others or myself keep me in shame or guilt. God bless u!

Angel1555

I am so fortunate to have never been caught drunk driving. Sometimes a part of me entertained the thought that it would be a good thing to get caught. Something to make me break the cycle of my alcohol abuse.

mistory5

Its strong possibility that the 1st one wouldn't stop u if u were a true alcoholic! 2nd one maybe. I have met quite a few alcoholics that have over 3 to 4 duis and will never be able to legally drive for 10 yrs to forever! Just because a drunk doesn't have a license doesn't mean they won't get behind a wheel but if they get caught they r going to jail and if they kill someone they r going to jail for a very long time. I personally don't want to gain my sobriety behind bars. But we all know that the drink can give us temporary insanity to the point we would do something to land us in jail and the worst part we wouldn't be able to remember what we did to get us there because we were in a blackout.

soberjuly

I just got lucky. I've been having lots of flashbacks. NWA flight attendant training when the people who were found to have DUIs got kicked out. Then nursing school where a classmate was in a panic because they had a DUI and he wasn't sure if he could get licensed. He did but he had to go through a big process. He was very depressed, tried to commit suicide at one point.

My drinking was very connected to staying home with kids. I had traveled a lot. Lived in London, Tel-Aviv, Tokyo and Stockholm. I found staying at home with babies to be isolating and I had postpartum depression.

I drove intoxicated many times with kids in the car. I'm very ashamed I did that to my kids. I did it 3 weeks ago. I was scared straight.

mistory5

In the USA if u get caught your kids will be taken away from u for child endangerment.
I also am a healthcare professional who showed up at work drunk got fired and now have to be monitored for 3 years by my licensing board. That means random urine test all my des must know I'm in the program, forced AA meetings, and if God opens a door for me to return to my field my employer must know and send in progress reports, . Alcohol has taken me through the ringer I can't believe how this liquid has caused so much damage and I kept picking it up even after duis and loosing my job. Never trust alcohol its the devil in earthly form it comes to steal kill and destroy and its so sneaky.

Dee74

are you sure about this mistory? That's a new one on me.

D

mistory5

Yes I'm positive! Your kids will be taken into custody by child protective services and the process starts from there. A family member may get temporary custody if approved but the drunk driver who had the kids in the car will not
they may get them back eventually if they jump through all the hoops that r required. Google it if u need further confirmation on this. But it really is common sense when u r sober and think about it. Just like u can kill someone else in another car u can kill the ones who r in the car with u.