nodak88

Well I am fully aware of the disease I have and the slow poison has returned. I went through an in-house treatment two years ago and stayed sober only 3 months after completion. Now that I am engaged, I know it is time to do this for real. I recently have been going ion 12 hour binges and the past has come back in full force. Lying, hangovers, numbness in my arms and legs, nervousness at work, etc. It is a bad time for me to start this again because my bachelor party is in a few weeks and basically my entire family and friends drink. Also, the closest AA meeting only meets once a month and is over twenty miles away...

trachemys

Look into ways other than AA. Coming here is all some people have needed. If you go down to the Secular Recovery forums, you'll find many methods that aren't AA. Read and post, read and post.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum nodak!! You'll find loads of support here on SR!!

Fiveyearssober

I'm glad you found SR. Keep reaching out - help is here

hayley86

Welcome! You'll find tons of support and advice here. Glad you've joined us.

soberjuly

Hi Nodak - Welcome. I see you are from ND? I grew up in Minnesota but my family first settled in North Dakota (in the late 1800s). Yes, pretty rural there.

Good to start sobriety now, before kids! You'll get lots of support here!

nodak88

Thanks everyone! Wow, there definitely is a support group here. It's just the beginning, long road ahead of me.

Angel1555

The bachelor party is going to be a tough one. You will definitely need a strategy for getting through that sober. Are you going to come out to your buddies that you have decided to quit drinking? Are they heavy drinkers? Are they expecting to really party hardy? I wish you all the luck in staying sober. It will be worth it in the long run.

nodak88

I haven't thought of a strategy yet, I know I need to tell them. Yes they are all heavy heavy drinkers.

Angel1555

Telling them is probably best, but be prepared for some pushing back. Remember they have their own agendas too and they will probably perceive you being sober as a downer on their drinking opportunity. Just remember this is your party and you can do it your way. I will bet your finance will be thrilled to know you didn't get sloppy drunk and do stupid and humiliating things at your bachelor party.

Nuudawn

Well..there's a pretty amazing guy round here by the name of Dee who got sober via Sober Recovery. And there are others.
So a drunken hot mess of a bride is preferable? You are to be wed..it is the opening of a new door. Why not face it with the eyes of a woman... a sober one. Cancel the stagette and have a brunch at a beautiful locale.

nodak88

Thank you for the response. The anxiety of canceling this trip is pretty great...

Nuudawn

Maybe have a look at Mindfulliving's "Confession" thread hun. Do you want those kind of wedding photo's?

HockeyGuy

There are many awesome programs.. AA isn't the only alternative! I have been using AVRT, it's great! Google it and find out some info. There's a free crash cousre online.. rational recovery website or whatever ! Give it a go!

SoberHoopsFan

Welcome aboard. I sure don't miss my 12+ hour binge/drinking marathons. They led to disaster, always. Bachelor party, at least in the traditional sense, sounds like a bad idea. I'm not engaged to be married, but I've accepted that in recovery I will not be having a bachelor party when I do get engaged, at least not as that is commonly understood. You have to make changes and sacrifices for sobriety, being in a binge drinking environment is bad news.

Angel1555

Haha nudawn! You've got that right! If only I had quit those 28 years ago. To all you younger folks please think about that. The years have a way of slipping by, don't waste them like I did.

nodak88

Wow, I just read this and thought it was amazing. This honestly changed my whole perception on being sober. It makes complete sense, the AV, the Beast, wow is all I have right now.

firstymer

nodak88, I know how weddings and bachelor parties can be in North Dakota. Actually, I know how MOST family gatherings in North Dakota tend to revolve around alcohol. But they don't HAVE to. Even if you WEREN'T trying to stop drinking, getting black-out drunk at a bachelor party and trying to find a strip joint seems outdated and, well, not smart.

So, maybe do something different. Instead of a drunken bachelor party, take them golfing at Bully Pulpit. Or rent some horses in Medora and go on a trail ride. Have a softball game. Volunteer somewhere as a group.

Or, if worse comes to worse and you can't think of a sober theme, cancel the bachelor party.

Right now, if you are serious about getting sober, you need to make that sobriety your number one priority. If you don't, you are setting yourself up for failure. If you do, you can't help but succeed.

Good luck.

nodak88

Thank you, I am grateful for another person who understands how North Dakota operates. The bachelor party will absolutely be a test. Thanks for your input.