Chloe2t

Sorry to be negative, but I hate this question.... Nobody really wants to hear how you really are! What if I answered honestly?

" I am crawling out of my skin... I feel like there is a weight on my chest, blocking my breath. I am incompetent, my kids are depending on someone who can't manage the slightest yaks of life without craving an escape... Are they utterly screwed having only me? Why am I even on this planet? I feel utterly useless, completely without justification for the air I breathe"

Why do people Ask this useless question?????

RolyPoly

I'd love to see the look on their face if you actually said all that!!

biminiblue

Back in the day when people didn't have communication devices, when someone would come to visit, they would ask, "How be you?" before coming close.

That was back when there wasn't modern medicine either, so if someone was sick, you wouldn't want to get too close.

I think it's okay to leave out details in reply - unless you feel the need to unburden yourself.


Hope you feel better.

PurpleKnight

Where I come from, it's the same as saying hello, it's not a literal thing, people I guess at the coffee machine or water cooler at work need some small talk to fill that silence.

I save the real details of life for the closer people in my life, the people who actually want to hear or care what is going on.

Aellyce

I used to hate small talk, too. And I really sucked at it when I was younger.

I have a few friends with whom we actually answer that question honestly and in detail because we know the other is genuinely interested. We are also generally interested in how you're feeling here on SR

Anna

It's simply a greeting, and I agree, most people don't really want to know.

Serenidad

If someone asked me how I am today (which I just realized no one did) I would say: "I'm WONDERFUL! I'm so freakin happy I've been whistling "zippity do dah" out of my ass all day! Haha. Just kiddin. You could also say your "FINE" when people ask how you are.

What "FINE" really means:
F--d up
Insecure
Neurotic
Emotional

Lol. Hang in there!

Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery

Dee74

Face to face is often a different thing, but rest assured that if I ask that here, I really want to know Chloe

D

Chloe2t

Love that

Chloe2t

Thanks everyone I was just having a moment

EyesOfAStranger

I usually answer that question honestly. And that consists of a long story, letting them know each and every thing that I am feeling. For those that truly are not interested, they usually learn quickly and stop asking me

Raider

I hate the question also. What it really means to me (depending on who asks), are you drinking again.

Low

Wow....wishing all you who "hate" just a simple greeting some serenity today...

Ready2beSober

Lmao!! If I have my mom over and I happen to still be in pajamas without makeup/hair done, she gives me this sad concerned look and rubs my shoulder and asks "awww honey how are you? Are you okay?" I know shes concerned but it makes me want to kick her out of my house lol!! (Me and my mom are best friends I'd never actually send her home) and its not necessarily because she's worried about my drinking, shes more or less saying"why do you look like s***?"

Thirdtime

It's a way of acknowledging your existence. I would take it as a good thing. Glass half full, or empty kind of thing. Everything, I am finding, is relative based on how well I am addressing what I need to do to be healthy. B

trachemys

Well?

Django

This. And the 'you look really well' meaning you look sober for a change *sigh*

St3f

I do the exact same thing. I noticed that people would ask me when my anxiety was at its worst more than usual. I just started telling people what was actually up. It helped a lot.

KAD

What irks me more is when someone asks me that question and I respond with the generic, "Fine, how are you?" and get no response at all. That's all the proof I need that my answer was irrelevant and probably not even heard.

MIRecovery

I'm FINE

F'd up
Insecure
Neurotic
Emotional