Nuudawn

Call me crazy...but I'd freaking love it if you said that to me. I'd be like "ya, you too? Wanna grab a coffee?".

Raider

Trach - no I'm not drinking.

Django - hahahahaha. Do you know my parents!!!!!

Django

Ha no I don't, but it happened a few days ago, went to a café to get some breakfast and go tthe 'you look really well' with the sympathetic nod and stare.

LBrain

well, how are you today?

desypete

if people ask me how i am i just say i am plodding on but my piles were hurting really badly yesterday and thanks for asking : )

it makes people smile and its my way of saying thanks for even thinking about me enough to ask : )

next time i will say my penis has been sore or anything that will not be the normal sort of answer people would expect : )

they might think i am nuts !!! the difference is today is that i know i am nuts so i dont try to fake at being normal anymore : )

caboblanco

I always thought when people said "be good" when ending a greeting they really meant g f yourself in old man language

ElleDee

Chloe...

I TOTALLY AGREE! I get that at work every day. Every random person who walks by my desk and I say "Good Morning" to... says "Morning, how are you?" and keeps on walking. They don't even know if I replied. They're gone before I can say anything. It's a stupid greeting because usually it means nothing.

desypete

it might mean nothing to you
but it might mean the world to the people who are asking it ?

they might have careing natures and not selfish ones, it took me a long while for me to end up wishing i could be more like the people who would go out of there way and do something nice for someone

i wouldnt do anything for anyone as i didnt like them lol

today i am one of the people who will ask as i want to be a caring type of person rather than someone who looks down on those that do

i might even hate the person i am asking but its the action that counts in my eyes and funny enough when i do things like that to people i dont like i end up losing that feeling that i dont like them as well : )

so dont knock it till you try it
go on ask someone today how they are : )

LBrain

Just be glad you're not a dog. Every dog you meet has to sniff your butt.

I guess you'll be weirded out if someone opens a door for you too.

mfanch

I answer them. If I'm having a rough time, I say so. If I'm "doing great", I say so. No harm no foul.

I have a standoffish air about me (related to introversion, not bitchiness) and really only get this greeting/question from people who are close to me and care. Most people just smile at me, which is preferable to talking. lol

desypete

rofl
funny enough the dogs dont seem to sniff my butt but the other side maybe that's just an English v usa thing but the dogs do seem to go for the most embarrassing parts of the body to be sniffed at in england : )

Chloe2t

i reaally only hated the question yesterday because i was having a really tough day and spent the entire day on the verge of tears.... so hard to lie when yiou feel that way! i feel much better today and its a solid reminder that it only works if you work it.... lol i was being a total, well you know....

Ready2beSober

I dont think its ever the question itself. Its the tone, the person asking, the way they ask etc. Glad today is a better day for you!!

GracieLou

I have answered honestly. To my sponsor and some other woman in AA. How are they going to help me if my answer is always, I am fine or I am doing okay.

I tell them if I am in a pissy mood and life sucks and they tell me everything is going to be okay. Sometimes that is all I need to hear.

I find just saying it out loud defuses the anger and the frustration. Scream it on here, we will understand.

EndGameNYC

I've learned to be selective in terms of who I ask this question, particularly in AA. Don't know about everyone else, but I most certainly am not open for business 24/7 and, very much like everyone else, cannot be fully present for everyone or even someone all the time. It just isn't possible or healthy for me.

Sometimes in AA, when I ask someone, "How are you?" They unleash the fully fury of every excruciating detail about what the world has done to them since we last spoke. It doesn't seem to matter how much "sober time" they've accumulated either. I'm a very approachable person, and I give them my attention when I can, but sometimes I need to politely (my preference) end the conversation. I've also met some people in AA who seem to think that "fellowship" and "service" in AA means that they are free to impose on others whenever it suits them, even when others make it clear that they have pressing matters to attend to. To me, this is an abuse of good will.

One guy I know from meetings sometimes starts his conversation with something like, "I need to talk to you because if I don't, I'll either drink or place myself at risk." This is habitual with him, and not only with me. He has little or no capacity to regulate his verbal productions; once he starts talking, he either cannot or will not stop. He's not very articulate and has few observable social skills, so he can sometimes be a challenge, and I sometimes wrap up our conversations with a friendly suggestion, though sometimes I've needed to refer him to his sponsor.

A more extreme example is another guy who few people have ever listened to -- including his large family -- throughout his life. Again, once he starts talking he cannot or will not stop, and what he says is often disturbing...racism, misogyny, and a well-practiced know-it-all attitude, though in seven years of sobriety he's done virtually nothing to improve his own life, living much like a hermit, though lecturing everyone within earshot about how they should live their lives. When he shares from the floor at meetings, he often interrupts himself and apologizes for "talking to much," and then continues on for several minutes at a time, often repeating himself so that everyone gets his message. His favorite level of discourse when we've spoken seems to be complaining. He "counsels" me on things about which he knows nothing from experience, and which I've either participated in or mastered in my own life. He's fond of telling me what "psychologist really do." The kicker is that he continues talking long after I've abandoned our "conversations." I can hear him talking, often raising his voice, when I'm up to nearly a hundred feet or more away from him, or when I've left the building we were in. I stopped going to the two meetings that these guys go to, since they haven't gotten the hint, and because I don't care to be rude to them. No big deal about the meetings either. They aren't among my favorites, and if you can't find a meeting where I live, then you just aren't trying.

I like talking with people, even strangers, but there is a limit, and I've been forced to learn how to deal with these situations in my sober life. AA membership is not a free pass to overburden anyone, including one's sponsor. There are AA heroes who love to talk about how they "always" give their time to new people, and sponsor scores of people at a time. Makes me wonder what they truly have to offer.

Verte

Way to let it out EG! So you ARE human...

EndGameNYC

Let's not get delusional...

Aellyce

OK guys, so perhaps we should create a dictionary with the appropriate phrases to be used in the elevator!

SillyString

That's an interesting take on it. I always tend to think that I'm being asked how I can stand still not drinking. Usually, I'm asked how I am by my old drinking buddies. It's like they keep waiting for me to come to my senses and start drinking again.

Nuudawn

Oh..I thought that was "take care".