GracieLou

Over a year.

I lost the job I had for over 17 years in November 2009. I didn't do much looking until January 2010. I had a couple bites with phone interviews and one face to face over the course of the year. In December a temp agency contacted me and said my resume that I had online matched what the needed and I started working there in January 2011 as a temp. I was hired in May and I am still there.

Try temp agencies. Since I was out of the work seeking scene for so long I was very rusty and being 41 years old didn't help.

Try a temp agency. Many companies employee them to go through all the screening, interview and background check mumbo jumbo so their own HR department does not have to. Many people I work with started out as temps.

If I would have known this I would have tried them earlier.

Dee74

yeah, however you try to cut it, day drinking is never a good thing.
I think you're wise to put some thought into this now Felix

D

Butterfly

It's all about finding the right therapist someone you feel comfortable talking about difficult and sensitive issues. I have had various counsellors in my life but only 2 who really helped me and who I felt safe with talking about issues with. Don't give up.

DoubleFelix

Awesome, thank you for the advice! I applied to some positions through a temp agency just now. Fingers crossed.

DoubleFelix

Yeah, you're right Dee. I've done it on and off for years, depending. Not good.

DoubleFelix

Totally. I think being in a bigger city will help, there're more options. I'll keep an eye out.

DoubleFelix

Things are going well, overall. Last night my roommate generously offered me a glass of beer when I came home. My immediate reaction in my head was "YES!" but then I remembered my commitment to thirty days and declined. That was definitely the first time I've ever turned down a free beer - a 9% ABV craft beer, at that. Big thanks to you all, I think this is a good thing for me to be doing and you are helping me do it.

DoubleFelix

Almost been a week now without drinking at all. One thing I've noticed recently is how generous people are with their booze! Almost every day I have been offered beer, wine, whiskey, tequila, etc. when meeting new people or in social situations. I dunno if I'm just meeting a lot of people who drink or if I'm only noticing now that I am not joining in. Either way it seems like there is some cultural tie between drinking and bonding - what's up with that?

ScottFromWI

Congrats on a week. Alcohol is certainly prevalent in our society, it always has been. Where exactly are you spending your time that you are continually being offered drinks if I might ask? I had to change some of the places I normally hung out or spent time, especially during early recovery.

Tugend

Congrats on a week! I would encourage you to keep logging on to SR, reading through other people's stories and asking lots of questions. You will find a lot of support and experience here.

I agree that alcohol forms a part of the fabric of social interaction in this culture. Not drinking often sets one apart from others. This likely leads many unwittingly down a dark road from which it is exceedingly difficult to return.

DoubleFelix

Scott - Since we're new in town we've been going to things like potlucks, house shows, picnics, movie screenings, etc to meet new people. I expected there to be drinking at some of these events but not most of them - now I know better. I think it's mostly due to our age demographic (20-25 ish). Also my girlfriend is a musician and lot of the people she knows here are too; casual drinking and drug use seem pretty prevalent among them. My girlfriend supports me and I love spending time with her, but thinking about it now it seems I'll probably need to find my own friend group and activities.

Tugend - Thanks for the encouragement!

DoubleFelix

Just a quick update -

I got a job! Gonna be working part time at a library. I'm also volunteering 10 hours a week for a local organization. I've never sought out these kinds of opportunities before, SR is really inspiring me to be more active and involved.

It's been nearly two weeks of no drinking. Abstaining has shown me that my connection to drinking is stronger than I originally gave it credit for - I'm still think about drinking a fair amount (especially in reaction to stress) but those thoughts are starting to lessen and weaken.

Butterfly

Brilliant news re the job and no alcohol. You recovery is going well!! One day at a time keep going the way your going!

Hevyn

DF - Working in a library sounds great. I'd love that. Proud of you for volunteering too.
2 weeks sober - look at you go.

DoubleFelix

Thanks Butterfly and Hevyn!

Verte

Hi DoubleFelix...I just read this update of yours and wanted to say congratulations! Also, well done over the weekend It sounds like you have a lot of good things going on and that you are making some really great choices. Having myself been in an alcohol surrounded environment during my 20s I suppose I would suggest that you take this time right now to find balance and really feel what balance means to you - with your relationship, friends, eating, sleeping, exercise, work.

While I do not regret my 20s - there were waaaaay too many substances along with the real good stuff in life. If I had to offer my 20s self a bit of advice (yes, this may sound strange), I would suggest envisioning supportive friends and a supportive environment and then keep my eyes wide open. Know that it is there for you. Find the groups of people that support things that support you. Making homemade corn dogs and fried pickles this weekend sounds like quite a bit of fun. Especially sober.

Nice job DoubleFelix Nice to have you here on the forum.

DoubleFelix

LeTheVerte - Being a part of SR is great for so many reasons, one of them being the kindness and insight you gain from people all over the world, like yourself. Thank you for the advice and support, I really appreciate it!

Everything you said resonates with me, especially about finding balance between "relationship, friends, eating, sleeping, exercise, work." Those are the things I am trying to focus on as I come into young adulthood - prioritizing my essential wants and needs has been grounding and humbling. I use to think that life would be boring if I did only a few things a day, but the opposite turns out to be true!

Living with intention and striving for balance has taken loads more work than just drunkenly drifting along, as I use to do, but at least I now feel (somewhat) empowered to affect the direction I'm heading in.

DoubleFelix

Looking through my journal today I saw that July 12 was the last day I actually drank - had some whiskey with my roommates. But I didn't make the decision to really give abstaining a go until I posted here, so, depending on where I'm counting from, it's nearly a month or a little over. Maybe I will count from the 12th, even if it's just to give myself more sober time.

Lately I've been telling some of the people in my life about my drinking history/problems. Most people have been surprised - I worked hard to hide it - and all have been supportive. Finally telling people has been a relief but also pretty scary. It feels like one of those things you can't really go back from. I have to be accountable to the truths of my life - the cat's out of the bag!

sugarbear1

stop drinking.

if you find that you can't stay stopped, there might be a problem.

DefconOne

Take the test given by professionals for alcoholism. Answer the questions with 100% honesty. They will give you an assessment as honest as your answers along with suggestions for treatment if needed. My alcoholism was a progressive experience, more and more drinking, stronger and stronger drinks until I collapsed. Its different for everybody in length and intensity but the result is the same - insane drinking at the end.