I feel like I don't have the right to post here anymore
 

... which I know is insane, and counterproductive.

Yes, I've slipped up. COUNTLESS times. I'm not asking for sympathy for those times because I know they could have been avoided.

Part of the reason why I've been holding off on posting is because I feel certain people get better treatment than others. Jesus, I sound like my mom...


I come here for support. I've been curbing my drinking and I'm waiting on a call (yes I've called back) for a ride to a meeting.

Maybe I put it all out there too fast.
Maybe it's because I'm a homeless kid who got a good break
Maybe it's because I'm actually an extraterrestrial overlord who plans to usurp your brain matter to create an all powerful intergalactic chasm of knowledge.



... in any event, why don't you guys like me?


1 out of 1 Alphabet's are dying to know.

What makes you think we don't like you?

Yes, why would you think that? You seem o.k. to me. Keep posting. :)

Welcome back! You are valuable. I remember you and I have only been here a short time. Welcome back again. I'm making gourmet dinner at the moment - PB&Js and smoothies but wanted to pop in to say...welcome back :)

:grouphug:

I'd like to know why you feel that way too Alphabet. Of course you have the right to post here.

A.) My paranoid bi polar self leads me to believe this and
B.) I sincerely feel like certain people here get special treatment despite slipping up a lot

I too am wondering where your feeling that you are unliked comes from. Are your posts ignored or something? I don't understand.

I like you!

To be clear: I've felt rather isolated the last couple times I've posted while other members in seemingly similar situations who joined at the same time and have sometimes posted more often than me with tales of failing were coddled over.

I know this might be detrimental to keep tally over, but we've all been the victim of favoritism.

Hey Alphabet, I can't speak for anyone else, but as long as someone is trying to be Sober and putting in the effort to change up and adjust their plan from their previous attempt then people will always get a response from myself!! :)

When I start in with my self-pity and envy, I start to imagine all kinds of negative stuff, too. Believe me, I am very familiar with them.

When I believe people like me and that I have something to offer others, I feel useful and happy.

Can you find a pet shelter to volunteer in or a food bank? Something that gets me out of my own head and lets me see how lucky I am is a good thing. Gratitude is one of my strongest tools for sobriety.

Have you joined a class of thread? Make some friends on there. I usually will check on any threads people I know start. Maybe these posters are just more known. 250 posts really isn't that many.

I actually think I know what you're getting at. Some folks here are very, very active on the sight and make a lot of connections ...therefore get more responses. I don't think it's really a matter of favouritism it's simply a matter of that person connecting with more people because they are very active on the site.

Does that make sense?

Go all over the board and give to others. Encourage a stranger. Stretch out of your natural comfort zone and say gratuitous nice things to others who are struggling or down.

There's a Bible verse that I really like, and I think it's true: Proverbs 22:11--

"One who loves a pure heart and who speaks with grace will have the king for a friend."

I don't know how you can tell, on an online forum, if you are disliked, not from the replies, which seem awfully positive and supporting.

I think SR likes you fine. Maybe it is you who doesn't like Alphabet as much as you should.

Some great responses :)

Perception is a funny thing Alphabet.

I swore the world was a certain way when I was drinking.
Now I see I was sick, really sick.

I'm not suggesting you're as sick as I was lol, but I think alcohol can definitely warp our perceptions.

For my part I sincerely try to at least look at every newcomers thread and reply where I can.

Some days I make it...other days (especially recently due to other things in my life) I don't.

That's all about me, I wouldn't read anything into that about you at all :)

I hope you do go to that meeting.

Make this time your time alphabet - I'm rooting for you :)

D

Welcome back.

How could they have been avoided? Does this mean they will be avoided in the future?

Alphabet

Have you managed to stop for the time being ? Try and take some time to explore avenues of support such as AA, AVRT, therapy, etc. Its crucial to develop a recovery plan and focus on recovery rather than the drinking.

I dont believe one needs any qualification to post on SR ! Just reach out for help as you have done. As for your other comment, the other posters are correct. The more you give the more you get back. Dont let your addiction fool you.

They didn't call me back. I do have a car, though there's a flat that I can't patch. I would walk, though I fell down a flight of stairs (sober!) so I can walk far.

Thank you for your responses and I have taken them to heart. I had also put them to use and that didn't do me much good! Times like these I wish I had a working computer so I could play World of Warcraft as terrible as that sounds!

I have no friends to hang out. Or to play weird fantasy games.

I don't talk about my addiction with anyone else but you guys.

I guess that's why I feel especially alone.

That's a lot of cant's right there....

What can you do? ring someone else? check out the bus timetable?
go to an online meeting? post more here - join a class thread?

Think of the cans, alphabet :)

D