Strange feelings of guilt after 3 years sober?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Edmonton, Alberta.
Posts: 398
Strange feelings of guilt after 3 years sober?
Hi all,
I haven't posted for a while although I am often about. Hope everyone is doing well.
I wondered - does anyone have any insights regarding persistent feelings of guilt?
Am chuntering along very happily in my almost three years of being properly sober. Work is fine, family is ace, no particularly troublesome stuff going on.
But for the past 6 months or so, and with increasing frequency / intensity I experience intense waves of guilt / shame. The strange thing is, most of it seems to be related to really quite trivial things from 20+ years ago: a cruel remark I made when pissed or someone I never called back. that sort of thing. None of the much fruitier stuff that came later in my drinking career & with which I am largely at peace. The feelings seem to be really disproportionate & none of my usual strategies seem to be very effective.
My sobriety isn't threatened by this but it is troublesome and I'd be grateful for any nuggets of wisdom from SR.
Thank you,
Max
I haven't posted for a while although I am often about. Hope everyone is doing well.
I wondered - does anyone have any insights regarding persistent feelings of guilt?
Am chuntering along very happily in my almost three years of being properly sober. Work is fine, family is ace, no particularly troublesome stuff going on.
But for the past 6 months or so, and with increasing frequency / intensity I experience intense waves of guilt / shame. The strange thing is, most of it seems to be related to really quite trivial things from 20+ years ago: a cruel remark I made when pissed or someone I never called back. that sort of thing. None of the much fruitier stuff that came later in my drinking career & with which I am largely at peace. The feelings seem to be really disproportionate & none of my usual strategies seem to be very effective.
My sobriety isn't threatened by this but it is troublesome and I'd be grateful for any nuggets of wisdom from SR.
Thank you,
Max
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,776
When I get distressing thoughts and feelings like that I discuss them with my counselor. She helps me cut thru the bs and rid myself of such thoughts.
Congrats on nearly three years sober!
Congrats on nearly three years sober!
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Sobermax,
While I have not completed this, many I know have. It sounds to me like step 10
”Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.”
If that doesn't work, re do step 4! Perhaps as these events were a long time ago, step 5 is the answer!
Again, this is simply in listening to others and I claim no corner on wisdom but wanted to help if possible.
3 years!! Wow, really jealous - GOOD FOR YOU!!!
While I have not completed this, many I know have. It sounds to me like step 10
”Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.”
If that doesn't work, re do step 4! Perhaps as these events were a long time ago, step 5 is the answer!
Again, this is simply in listening to others and I claim no corner on wisdom but wanted to help if possible.
3 years!! Wow, really jealous - GOOD FOR YOU!!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Hi Max - good to see you 
If those kinds of things are troubling you I think you need to ask yourself whether it's feasible for you to make amends for those things (assuming that doing so is not goin g to hurt you or anyone else).
If it is, great - then do that.
If not, you gotta let it go sometime Max.
You are that Max anymore. You've grown, moved on, and made something of your sober life.
Forgive yourself, Max
D
If those kinds of things are troubling you I think you need to ask yourself whether it's feasible for you to make amends for those things (assuming that doing so is not goin g to hurt you or anyone else).
If it is, great - then do that.
If not, you gotta let it go sometime Max.
You are that Max anymore. You've grown, moved on, and made something of your sober life.
Forgive yourself, Max
D
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