Wellnessgirl

Today is the day that I have decided to once again quite drinking. I have tingling and electrical pains shooting down my arms and legs. I "use" to drink 1 to 1 and a half bottles (750) of wine a night. My health has never been this bad. At first I thought maybe I have MS...or the beginning of diabetes until I researched alcohol abuse. Bingo. I'm only 49 years old and considered to be very healthy. I have always taken care of myself with the exception of drinking too much. I know I need to quite. I have quite for 30 days....60 days and even 90 days in the past and always end up right where I currently am today; In pain, scared and uncertain how long this one is going to last. I have decided to take it one day at a time and try to focus more on healing myself from the physical pain that I am currently feeling. Ugh....if only I never went back to drinking after 90 days of being sober. I struggled and still struggle with ...."maybe I'm not an alcoholic and just need to smarten up and drink sensibly"......

LBrain

Okay, we deduced that we need to stop. We have done so in the past but only for short periods of time. What was it that made us go back to drinking after 30/60/90 days? Was it the thought that I could stop when I wanted so I will decide to drink again?
Was it just too much stress and not knowing how to deal with it without taking a drink? Was it that life seemed to have no more meaning unless we were drinking?
Why did we go back to drinking?
Did we ever say this is it, I'm done? Were we ready to make the real commitment to quit drinking? Did we have a 'plan' in place to aid us on our way through early sobriety?
Some things to think about.
Good luck this time. But it takes more than luck. It takes a willingness to survive - win.

ScottFromWI

Welcome Wellnessgirl. You'll find a lot of support and good information here as well. It's probably a good idea to see your doctor if you are having physical issues, as well as to make sure your withdrawals are safe.

InWriting

Stay strong, Wellness. You can do this. Today is your first hurdle. Get over that, and try to go for 2. and then 3...etc. We're all with you.

least

Welcome! If drinking is causing problems, best to quit. Do you have any support besides us here? What about trying a few AA meetings?

Wellnessgirl

Thank you Least......I have tried AA and felt out of place. The people where really nice but.....I just had a hard time accepting that I should be there. I am struggling BIG time......

ElleDee

Me too. It's because I wasn't ready to quit drinking. I thought I was... but I wasn't really. Once I decided that I needed help, REALLY needed help... I started to be a little more open-minded about AA. There's always going to be something with any program that doesn't suit us. Give it another try.

Also, check out the secular recovery board here. There are many other ways to stay sober besides AA.

Dee74

Are you thinking of seeing a DR wellnessgirl? It's often a good idea?

D

DoubleDragons

Wellness girl, towards the end of my drinking, I started to have scarier physical symptoms, too. Pins and needles and numbness in my feet, episodes of vertigo, achy hands, stomach ulcers. I am happy to report that all of these symptoms have disappeared since I quit drinking. I am almost ten months sober, but they were gone within a few months. I am a woman in my 40s, as well, thin, active and I never have had any major health problems. Life is better sober, I promise you. Quit trying so hard to keep the poison in your mind and body! Let it go, happily . . . .

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Wellnessgirl!!

Wellnessgirl

Hi Dee....I have thought about going to the Doctors but by silly ego and pride have the best of me. My doctor thinks I am a role model for healthy living. I did some research on my condition and am currently taking supplements to hopefully reverse the nerve damage. Today I am feeling much better. Just can't stop thinking about tonight....when I get home from work....how I have to change my routine.

Wellnessgirl

Girl...you and I sound alike with the pain. I have never been so scared. I am currently taking supplements to hopefully help with reversing the nerve damage. 10 months sober....Congratulations!!! I really hope that I can say that one day. I still struggle with ...... maybe I can just control my drinking. I don't drink anything other then wine. Maybe just on the weekends yet I know there will always be another day throughout the week that will pop up that will involve drinking for example, going out for dinner. This just really sucks.

ElleDee

Good luck with that.

DoubleDragons

Wellness, I was a wine drinker only, too. In fact red wine only, and when I quit I had pretty successfully moderated to weekend only drinking and only 2-3 drinks in one sitting. But, I was miserable and always pining for more. My weeks became like countdown to the weekend . . .so I could drink. I take a lot of supplements, I drink a superfood smoothie every morning and I am a yoga fanatic. Still, even with all of those healthy elements in my life, and even only drinking limitedly on the weekends, I still had all of the other dangerous health symptoms. The ONLY thing that turned it around for me, was to quit drinking completely. Someone on SR said to me, "DD, you have given all of those years to drinking, why not give sobriety a try?" You can always go back to drinking, WG, nobody can stop you. Why not give sobriety a good six month try??

ultradad

Hi wellnessgirl!

The very fact that you've TRIED to stop on your own, but can't tells me that more than likely, you're an alcoholic. That doesn't make you a bad person, that simply means you have a disease. I also tried more times than I can count to stop on my own to no avail! It took me humbling myself and getting help through AA. My suggestion would be to try something new, why don't you give AA a try. Google local AA meetings in your area and just go. Who knows, it may very well save your life, it has mine! Pulling for you!

Icandothis2013

Hi, Wellnessgirl, I was wondering if your 'nerve' problems ( tingling, shooting pains etc) had stopped. I seem to have a similar thing and am very worried.
Hope you are feeling better ! S x