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Tapering?

Old 07-22-2014, 07:22 AM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by GetMeOut View Post
You are/were drinking the same amount I was, and I spread it over 24 hours. If I was awake, I was reaching for the bottle. I never got totally wasted - I hate that feeling - I drank to maintain a buzz, all day every day. It was miserable. Withdrawals became horrific and unbearable. Librium got me through that so easily it almost felt like cheating! I was actually afraid I would look back on that as an easy escape hatch should I decide to drink again, but withdrawal is only a small part of what makes drinking a terrible and frightening existence. Existing is all it is. Can't call it living.
yes, this is exactly what i've been doing, and then sometimes drinking a bit more at night - also terrible because it is QUITE easy to hide as for most of the day i don't necessarily seem drunk, because i'm only basically tipsy - just allllllll day. plus i have a very mad-men/startup/tech type job where even if i did seem drunk, a joke about a martini for lunch wouldn't phase anyone, especially as there's always booze in the offices. there's free kegs of beer in my office building and happy hours every thursday! it's too easy to hide it from other people but i can't hide it from myself anymore and i feel terrible.

i know that right now i'm worried about the physical dependence but that's only one part of recovering from drinking and once i stop there's still tons of psychological work to do.
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Old 07-22-2014, 07:25 AM
  # 42 (permalink)  
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I tried to taper for probably 4+ years and it took me that long to realize that it's not possible for me. If you can do it... good for you!
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Old 07-22-2014, 07:28 AM
  # 43 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by megan86 View Post
yes, this is exactly what i've been doing, and then sometimes drinking a bit more at night - also terrible because it is QUITE easy to hide as for most of the day i don't necessarily seem drunk, because i'm only basically tipsy - just allllllll day. plus i have a very mad-men/startup/tech type job where even if i did seem drunk, a joke about a martini for lunch wouldn't phase anyone, especially as there's always booze in the offices. there's free kegs of beer in my office building and happy hours every thursday! it's too easy to hide it from other people but i can't hide it from myself anymore and i feel terrible.

i know that right now i'm worried about the physical dependence but that's only one part of recovering from drinking and once i stop there's still tons of psychological work to do.
Your job sounds like a job I had years ago. There was always liquor and beer on the premises and we even celebrated "beer:30" everyday for a while. That was supposed to be 4:30, but the time kept getting moved back. I even had a coworker who kept a whiskey flask on his desk during work hours, and no one ever said anything about it! Ironically, I quit drinking for 2 of the 5 years I worked there. Watching my coworkers often disgusted me. It actually helped to keep me sober.
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Old 07-22-2014, 07:48 AM
  # 44 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by GetMeOut View Post
Your job sounds like a job I had years ago. There was always liquor and beer on the premises and we even celebrated "beer:30" everyday for a while. That was supposed to be 4:30, but the time kept getting moved back. I even had a coworker who kept a whiskey flask on his desk during work hours, and no one ever said anything about it! Ironically, I quit drinking for 2 of the 5 years I worked there. Watching my coworkers often disgusted me. It actually helped to keep me sober.
this is a good point and i wonder if it will help me as well. i also feel that telling people "i'm not drinking" will sort of keep me accountable, like how having a buddy to work out with or diet with makes the healthier habits stick easier.

sometimes i wonder if it's just that literally every single person in new york city has a drinking problem - the only thing anyone i know DOES is drink, whether that's socially, to celebrate, just because, etc - among my friends and coworkers even a day in the park calls for a bottle of wine. but i wonder how many of them feel or are as "out of control" as i am.
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Old 07-22-2014, 07:54 AM
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Originally Posted by megan86 View Post
sometimes i wonder if it's just that literally every single person in new york city has a drinking problem - the only thing anyone i know DOES is drink, whether that's socially, to celebrate, just because, etc - among my friends and coworkers even a day in the park calls for a bottle of wine. but i wonder how many of them feel or are as "out of control" as i am.
This is a very common misconception alcoholics make - assuming that "everyone drinks". Sure, a lot of people do drink - but a lot of people don't as well. And most only drink occasionally and responsibly. We ( alcoholics ) naturally gravitate towards others who do drink, because we don't want to stick out - when we go to a function, drinking is our main purpose, not the actual event.

What you will find if you really move forward with sobriety is that you will most likely have to stop hanging out with some of your inner circle of drinking friends. You will also have to most likely change some of the things that you do - such as attending events where drinking is the sole focus, or hanging out in places like bars where drinking is the only goal. It is difficult to be sure, but after a while you'll find that those people and places really have no business in your life anymore - just as a diabetic wouldn't hang out in a candy store or a sugar factory.
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