Change4good

Oh goodness. How shameful to write this, but I am reaching out.

I relapsed. Big time. I didn't go to work today. I have been in the same clothes for 48 hours.

I can't go back to the ER. Too humiliating. Have 5K in medical bills after being sent to a hospital that didn't take my insurance.

It will get better. I know this. I have to know this.

ScottFromWI

Welcome back C4G. It CAN get better, but not if you keep drinking. If you need medical help, the ER might be a necessity humiliating or not. Why were you sent to the hospital?

Change4good

I went for detox, and they admitted me to a psychiatric ward for three days. It was horrific. I couldn't have my clothes (had to wear paper scrubs), couldn't have pens to write. It sent me over the edge. I don't know how people get better in those situations. Again, it was so horrific. Doctors were cruel, and they kept me so drugged I couldn't think straight.

ScottFromWI

Sorry to hear you had a bad experience. Do you have a regular doctor you could call? Sounds like you might need some professional help to detox again, or have you stopped drinking already?

Dee74

Not until you take action though.
What are you going to do C4G?

D

Change4good

I am working on that Dee. I can't seem to get it straight. I am letting people down.

PurpleKnight

You can do this!! Change the plan and go at it again!!

Hevyn

Well you haven't let us down - because we understand.

I did the same thing a few times - until finally I feared for my life. It was so much safer and easier to stop - there was nothing in it for me anymore. Every time I picked up, no matter how good my intentions, I ended up in the same shape you're in right now. Sometimes we need further convincing. It sounds like you're ready to try something different and reclaim your life. We know you can!

Rence

I know how that as - as, I'm sure, many on here do. I've been through that - same clothes, no shower and my only food/drink was beer - for days !!! I would put some pants on to go get more beer, then change back at home. This madness would go away only from total abstention and then come right back immediately after relapse.

I too hated going to the emergency room and then to detox. A few times I was able to wean off then white knuckle it for a few days. If you can't go to the hospital, try and dig yourself out. I finally feel optimistic. My frustration of me dealing with alcoholism finally gave me some needed fuel to fight this thing and put the work (AA meetings) in. For once in my life I feel like I CAN do this - and if I can, anybody can. Hang in there and fight the good fight.

soberclover

Sounds like you may need some professional help getting started on your road to recovery. I hope you can find a counselor that you can develop an honest therapeutic relationship with. That made a big difference for me

Dee74

Try and cut all the noise and fears and expectations and whatever else out.

The bottom line, the one thing you absolutely have to do, is stop drinking.

If you can do that by yourself - great
If not, then you need help - and now C4G.

D

Raider

Don't worry Sweetie. We don't have cyber-smell here. Just get yourself sober. You will feel better if you take a shower and put on clean clothes.

candysweetie

Change4good.. you will get better,I know you will..i can really relate to your experience in hospital! I went in twice and both times got treated like filth! Left in a room for hours and hours with no one checking on me,no drink,meds or anything..I was made to feel like complete **** and a loser, it was bloody horrific. I was in a terrible way with drinking..I mean really bad..but ive not drunk for ages now..if I can do it anyone can..honesty. wishing you all the very best and a big hug xxxxx

LaurenLulu

being in the same clothes for 48 hours? sounds like an average day for me....
....i was also too embarrassed to call an ambulance AGAIN to my friends house and go back to ER (A&E) the second time I got DTs and i just had to sweat them out for three days at my friends house

Anna

Please take care of yourself and know that you can get through this.

ProudDaddy

That is a difficult place to be. I have been in adult psych 3 times, detox probably 15. It is unfortunate that you were treated so poorly. Please remember that not all people are careless. The majority of us are compassionate and understanding. Don't let this bad experience discourage you from seeking out the help you need and deserve. Best of luck to you.

Verte

Hey Change, can you sleep on a friend's couch or call someone to hang out with you? I second the advice of talking and seeing a pro during this time. Is there a doc that you can call and consult with? Most practitioners should understand your reluctance to repeat the past detox experience and could help with an alternative.

Stick around SR.

Pondlady

I can feel how miserable you are. Try a hot shower and some juice or broth, and climb into bed. Get the help you need, you don't want to go like this.

Change4good

I am much better today everyone. Made it to work, was VERY productive, and no shakes.

And no more going back.

Bruno1979

Well done C4G, keep up the good work.

Bruno.