Craving
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Wellington, NZ
Posts: 250
Craving
Kia ora,
I'm in about my sixth week of not drinking. Things are going swell- I'm feeling ok mostly and lots of changes are going on.
I'm getting a bit concerned about a few of the thoughts that are running through my head though. The last couple of days I've had vague thoughts that some day I'll be able to drink responsibly. Just a flash of it, but it's mighty compelling even though I know it's utter crap. I've had a couple of flashes of total cravings- lovely images of 'health giving' glasses of red wine, warm and rewarding, just waiting to be quaffed- sort of like an old-school cigarette commercial. I've also been having outright cravings- reminds me of whining puppy if you know what I mean.
The other thing too is I've got this vaguely subconscious concern that when anything major goes wrong I'm going to hit the bottle. Everything is ok- but I'm just a wee bit worried that if something big happened I'd panic. Maybe that fear is actually setting that up to happen- I'm just not sure.
I'm pretty good at talking back to my AV (and pretty good at learning new acronyms :=) so I've been doing that constantly but this stuff is leaving me with a vague sense of disquiet. Any comments or advice would be greatly appreciated. Kia kaha e hoa ma.
I'm in about my sixth week of not drinking. Things are going swell- I'm feeling ok mostly and lots of changes are going on.
I'm getting a bit concerned about a few of the thoughts that are running through my head though. The last couple of days I've had vague thoughts that some day I'll be able to drink responsibly. Just a flash of it, but it's mighty compelling even though I know it's utter crap. I've had a couple of flashes of total cravings- lovely images of 'health giving' glasses of red wine, warm and rewarding, just waiting to be quaffed- sort of like an old-school cigarette commercial. I've also been having outright cravings- reminds me of whining puppy if you know what I mean.
The other thing too is I've got this vaguely subconscious concern that when anything major goes wrong I'm going to hit the bottle. Everything is ok- but I'm just a wee bit worried that if something big happened I'd panic. Maybe that fear is actually setting that up to happen- I'm just not sure.
I'm pretty good at talking back to my AV (and pretty good at learning new acronyms :=) so I've been doing that constantly but this stuff is leaving me with a vague sense of disquiet. Any comments or advice would be greatly appreciated. Kia kaha e hoa ma.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Great job on 6 weeks, that's fantastic!! 
The romanticism of alcohol is a big trigger of mine, that sip of wine after a long day at work, that glass of brandy at Xmas, a few beers in the sunshine, the problem though is the fairytale in my head only ever includes 1 or 2 drinks, never a full bottle and never falling into bed blackout drunk, I find I need to separate the myths and lies from the reality of the situation!!
With regards life's ups and downs, we can be sure that they will always happen and it's a good idea to put a plan of support in place for when something happens, people who don't drink or who have never drank have their coping mechanisms and so can we, whether that means building up our circle of friends, developing ways of relaxation and dealing with stress, whatever it is it's time to shore up the foundations now in preparation.
Keep pushing through!!
The romanticism of alcohol is a big trigger of mine, that sip of wine after a long day at work, that glass of brandy at Xmas, a few beers in the sunshine, the problem though is the fairytale in my head only ever includes 1 or 2 drinks, never a full bottle and never falling into bed blackout drunk, I find I need to separate the myths and lies from the reality of the situation!!
With regards life's ups and downs, we can be sure that they will always happen and it's a good idea to put a plan of support in place for when something happens, people who don't drink or who have never drank have their coping mechanisms and so can we, whether that means building up our circle of friends, developing ways of relaxation and dealing with stress, whatever it is it's time to shore up the foundations now in preparation.
Keep pushing through!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
RIGHT ON!!!
Good job knocking down six weeks.
You're very right to be concerned about those thoughts.... those were the thoughts that eventually led me back to drinking and another 1.5 year bender before getting sober again.
Having lived in EnZed.... I know the pressures of the drinking culture there very well, and I know how easily one can get drawn back into it - even in the best of circumstances.
What I found was that when I have those thoughts - I need to share them, come back out here on SR and read others' stories about relapse, remind myself of the long-running history of my efforts to 'moderate', remind myself of the reasons I've enjoyed sobriety and the rewards it brings. I have to actively work back against those thoughts or gradually, lo and behold, they start to seem a really good idea.
Also - responding to them with exercise seems to help. Often those thoughts are stress and emotions in disguise and for me a long run or other intense physical activity helps clear out and regulate my welling stresses or negative emotions.
Kia waimarie... you can do it.
Good job knocking down six weeks.
You're very right to be concerned about those thoughts.... those were the thoughts that eventually led me back to drinking and another 1.5 year bender before getting sober again.
Having lived in EnZed.... I know the pressures of the drinking culture there very well, and I know how easily one can get drawn back into it - even in the best of circumstances.
What I found was that when I have those thoughts - I need to share them, come back out here on SR and read others' stories about relapse, remind myself of the long-running history of my efforts to 'moderate', remind myself of the reasons I've enjoyed sobriety and the rewards it brings. I have to actively work back against those thoughts or gradually, lo and behold, they start to seem a really good idea.
Also - responding to them with exercise seems to help. Often those thoughts are stress and emotions in disguise and for me a long run or other intense physical activity helps clear out and regulate my welling stresses or negative emotions.
Kia waimarie... you can do it.
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: In a tree, UK
Posts: 46
Remember to play the tape all the way through. One glass of wine might seem tempting, but after fast-forwarding the tape, I see myself puking on the floor or choking on my vomit with five empty bottles around me.
Working-cl*** pseudo tough
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Posts: 485
I'm just finishing my second week, and have gone through a bunch of my "100% I'm going to drink and maybe get wrecked" situations. Also done a bunch of other stressful things including buying property, getting a big fine, and almost had my wife leave me and take the kids.
Oh yes, and some public speaking as well.
Day 13 - no drinks yet.
You'll be surprised to find that when things do go sour, you can always cling to a very simple mantra like "I will not drink today". That's it.
I was worried before some of the crap that's happened in the last few weeks, and was surprised how easy it was not to drink. When the drinking was the cause of these problems, and you recognise that, it makes it much easier.
Oh yes, and some public speaking as well.
Day 13 - no drinks yet.
You'll be surprised to find that when things do go sour, you can always cling to a very simple mantra like "I will not drink today". That's it.
I was worried before some of the crap that's happened in the last few weeks, and was surprised how easy it was not to drink. When the drinking was the cause of these problems, and you recognise that, it makes it much easier.
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
though infrequent after six weeks I did have occasional cravings.
The changes in seasons (especially to spring/summer) and the various things that come once a year can be "triggering". So even if you are solid in recovery these things and the unexpected things come up (family sickness, misfortune, disappointments etc etc etc) that can stir the AV up.
I tend to just recognise when I am having ideas that promote drinking or thoughts that portray me as an outsider, or hard done by in some way
The changes in seasons (especially to spring/summer) and the various things that come once a year can be "triggering". So even if you are solid in recovery these things and the unexpected things come up (family sickness, misfortune, disappointments etc etc etc) that can stir the AV up.
I tend to just recognise when I am having ideas that promote drinking or thoughts that portray me as an outsider, or hard done by in some way
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Wellington, NZ
Posts: 250
Thanks very much for the input and ideas :=] I haven't got much time to think at the mo, but I'm planning on going to my first AA meeting tomorrow. Hopefully that will help, but it's great to have support here. Thank you.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
