Scared to feel better!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,618
Scared to feel better!
Tried to sleep....mind is chaos. Things are much better with the boyfriend. And that made me feel better.....then I noticed AV thoughts that are scary. Maybe we can enjoy drinking by the pond again. Maybe we can have some wine with dinner. Maybe I just need a break, balance my life and drink normally again. These thoughts are frightening to me! Complacency! That has gotten me into trouble before. I need to come up with tools to defend myself against this!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 49
Hi Windancer,
I'm feeling a bit the same, I've done a couple of sober weeks but it doesn't feel very permanent. I've been told That I need a plan and it sounds like you do too, the only problem is I don't really what a plan should be. Can anyone else help us out with making a plan?
I'm feeling a bit the same, I've done a couple of sober weeks but it doesn't feel very permanent. I've been told That I need a plan and it sounds like you do too, the only problem is I don't really what a plan should be. Can anyone else help us out with making a plan?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
The plan doesn't have to be very elaborate, keep it simple, after work in my first few months I'd decide to do housework, read a chapter of a book, go for a walk etc etc, anything so I wasn't sitting with my thoughts, which at the time would have been about alochol, that was a receipe for disaster.
So every evening I'd plan what I would do the following day between arriving work at 5pm until bedtime at 11pm, when it came to weekends, same again, my activities were planned with military precision, the enemy was my mind, and my mind couldn't have a moment of thinking, what am I going to do now? I'm bored? so let's drink.
Activities will become more and more complex as time goes on, but then there is the question of support and accountability in recovery, meetings? a few hours on SR? AA steps? etc etc, very few can do this on their own.
Every morning I check in on SR, at lunch time I also check in and my evenings when I have a moment, I don't personally attend meetings, instead SR gives me both support and accountability in my Sobriety!!
Keep it simple, the plan is to not drink, whatever method works!!
So every evening I'd plan what I would do the following day between arriving work at 5pm until bedtime at 11pm, when it came to weekends, same again, my activities were planned with military precision, the enemy was my mind, and my mind couldn't have a moment of thinking, what am I going to do now? I'm bored? so let's drink.
Activities will become more and more complex as time goes on, but then there is the question of support and accountability in recovery, meetings? a few hours on SR? AA steps? etc etc, very few can do this on their own.
Every morning I check in on SR, at lunch time I also check in and my evenings when I have a moment, I don't personally attend meetings, instead SR gives me both support and accountability in my Sobriety!!
Keep it simple, the plan is to not drink, whatever method works!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,618
I feel I have so much to do and catch up on and get quite overwhelmed. I guess posting on here is a great start. The past few years have been so scary.....Ive been so out of control and Ive truly feared id accidentally kill myself or someone else. I have also in the past gotten suicidal while really drunk (never ever when im sober though). Ive GOT to put everything I have into this.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
My plan is so very simple...I will never drink again and I will never change my mind. Anything my AV/Beast has to say on the matter is promptly ignored. I know from many years experience that I'll never be a normal drinker again. But I'm having a great time being a normal non-drinker!
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
Originally Posted by Windancer 
I agree! I have a pan for my recovery, but am a bit lost as how to avoid the "complacency syndrome".
Sometimes, I just jot a quote from here, or somebody posts something relevant, I pop them in the "notes" section in my iPad. It's like a little sobriety arsenal to refer to.
Often when I've had a bad day, it just helps to read back and think, well, I got through April 23rd, surely I can get through this, or whatever.
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