Can't do it ALONE!
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Speaking from personal experience and based on the meetings I attend (which are groups I consider healthy), coming back is definitely humbling on a personal level. It is admitting that alcohol whooped us and whooped us good but one thing it is not is humiliating.
I shared on another thread about my experience coming back
I hope this will encourage you to give it a go. If you are a bit gun shy to see the people you know just make your come back at a different meeting and once you feel stronger you can start attending our old group again if you feel like it: keep in mind that group dynamics can vary widely within AA meaning that while the format is often pretty much the same, meetings are different.
I shared on another thread about my experience coming back
When I came back, I walked in what is now my home group early, introduced myself and helped make coffee and setting up the chairs. It was like an automatic fit and I was accepted immediately.
Our treasurer who is an elderly lady with double digit sobriety asked me if I still had a big book and when I said no, she gave me one and not only would absolutely not accept any money from me but also wrote a very kindly message on the front page telling me to keep coming back which I did
I was coming back from a 6 years relapse after 5 years sober and it was very humbling. I am blessed that I was welcomed with open arms but without a fuss.
Our treasurer who is an elderly lady with double digit sobriety asked me if I still had a big book and when I said no, she gave me one and not only would absolutely not accept any money from me but also wrote a very kindly message on the front page telling me to keep coming back which I did
I was coming back from a 6 years relapse after 5 years sober and it was very humbling. I am blessed that I was welcomed with open arms but without a fuss.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Hey Serindad. Do whatever you must. You found some success with AA previously...isn't that reason enough? There are things I like about AA and things I don't...nevertheless, they are sober people...trying to stay sober. We got something in common right there right? Why not be "open" to it? Why be closed? I went to a meeting the other night and I enjoyed it. The one tonight? Not so much.
I put together 4 months last year with SR...but loneliness and isolation got to me. So now I have added AA meetings to the mix.
If the fear of "I told you so" is the only reason from you going...well, just cut that out. Number 1, highly unlikely you would ever get that...
If you do, just slap that b*tch and take a seat on the other side of the room! (kidding).
For heaven's sakes...go.
I put together 4 months last year with SR...but loneliness and isolation got to me. So now I have added AA meetings to the mix.
If the fear of "I told you so" is the only reason from you going...well, just cut that out. Number 1, highly unlikely you would ever get that...
If you do, just slap that b*tch and take a seat on the other side of the room! (kidding).
For heaven's sakes...go.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 174
Just keep trying and failing! That's what worked for me. Am i eventually stopped.
And do whatever you need to do to help you stay sober.
I use just SR, but what do i know, i'm just at 4 months.
If AA helped you in the past, don't wait another day!
I understand the despair and feelings of hopeless you are experiencing so, please spare yourself!
All the best!
And do whatever you need to do to help you stay sober.
I use just SR, but what do i know, i'm just at 4 months.
If AA helped you in the past, don't wait another day!
I understand the despair and feelings of hopeless you are experiencing so, please spare yourself!
All the best!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Engerland
Posts: 897
I have felt your pain.
Sometimes going to any lengths to stay sober means just what it says on the tin.
I found that when i was prepared to do anything required and to set aside my own ideas in favour of those that worked, that's when i got sober and stayed that way.
Hope that you can find it in yourself to do the same.
Wishing you well.
G
Sometimes going to any lengths to stay sober means just what it says on the tin.
I found that when i was prepared to do anything required and to set aside my own ideas in favour of those that worked, that's when i got sober and stayed that way.
Hope that you can find it in yourself to do the same.
Wishing you well.
G
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by weirdesttoner 
Just keep trying and failing!
serinidad, goin back to AA after this might seem humiliating, but it isn't. there have been quite a few people that only needed one thing to get back to AA,get and stay sober, and have a great life:
humility.
although I haven't drank since I got into AA, there have been many times I didn't take the advise I was given. many times I disagreed with the outcome. a lil humility to admit someone else was right and my way didn't work opened me up to learning a new way.
lack of humility, on the other hand, has caused me pain and has kept many stuck in the bottle.
Unknown300864
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 336
How I cope
I drink lots of ginger beer, solo with angostura bitters my lemon lime bitters & solo and tonic water to give off the gin & tonic effect. Bottle shops & food stores sell non alcoholic champagne beer & wine but to be honest never really loved the taste it's just been to get a buzz. I've become a series buff I hire series as old as the OC lol & watch them when I have a spare moment. There is also a website fanfiction.netyou can read all different scenarios of movies books anything. I loved 50 shades of grey books so I read all the good ones before bed or when bored. The gym helps but I'm not fit enough to not get sore after a 1 hr session. I found nlp hypnotherapy great as long as ur wanting to get help. For me now I'm sober it's like my partner drinks for the 2 of us FFS! Wyorking weekends & saving money makes me happy it's hard when I'm his taxi service fri sat nights but I know I have a job to do it's getting him to have the decency to leave so I can go to bed. Ever since I stopped drinking we go to our best friends & play board games which I find as long as I'm not bored it's all good. Antabuse saved me cause when u have 1 drink u go red & I know my partner will pick up straight away so it keeps me from drinking. As for stress I stuff up there as I take Valium & have really low self esteem but tea calms me
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 234
Kahlia, how long have you been on Antabuse? Is it working for you? I was using it to try to moderate. Of course you have to take it every day for it to work, but I would try taking it for a few days, then off for a few. Crazy right? I didn't have enough willpower to stay on the antabuse because I knew it would eliminate my drinking opportunities. I feel like such a loser!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
In my life, the definition includes:
*Drinking in spite of health consequences
*Drinking in spite of massive weight gain
*Drinking in spite of daily hangovers
*Drinking in spite of telling myself "no more" every morning
*Drinking 8 times the recommended daily limit, every day
*Drinking the weekly recommended amount/limit in one day, every day
*Planning my day around getting drunk every evening
*Resenting activities that interrupted my drinking
*Eventually resenting all activities because I was hungover every day
*Hiding my drinking
*Lying about my drinking
*Spending hundreds of dollars a month, every month, and neglecting other bills/responsibilities
*Blackouts several times a week, including worknights
*Drinking in spite of health consequences
*Drinking in spite of massive weight gain
*Drinking in spite of daily hangovers
*Drinking in spite of telling myself "no more" every morning
*Drinking 8 times the recommended daily limit, every day
*Drinking the weekly recommended amount/limit in one day, every day
*Planning my day around getting drunk every evening
*Resenting activities that interrupted my drinking
*Eventually resenting all activities because I was hungover every day
*Hiding my drinking
*Lying about my drinking
*Spending hundreds of dollars a month, every month, and neglecting other bills/responsibilities
*Blackouts several times a week, including worknights
Last edited by MelindaFlowers; 07-20-2014 at 05:49 PM. Reason: typo
Unknown300864
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 336
re: mindful living
I started in December after I had a fight with my partner. stayed sober x mas still cant believe it happened lol. Ofcourse in the first week of having them I had to see what the effects were lol. my partner came home and freaked cause I was as red as a tomato and eyes bloodshot but 2 beers didn't seem to do much but make me red. I blamed it on drinking heaps of lemon lime bitters lol!!! it wasn't until new years eve I was sober all night & my partner was drunk so I left him at his friends. I had 3 tequila shots and half a bourbourne. first it felt like I was on speed cause my heart was racing and I had heaps of energy & I thought oh great another thing I like but 45 minutes later my whole body ached my head was throbbing I was bright red & scared. I threw up not cause I was nauseous but cause I wanted to get the alcohol out of my system. I went off them 3 weeks before I went to japan and went red twice so they were somehow still in my system. I then had another fight with bf went back on antabuse to save relationship & his friends said in NEEDED a drink. I had 3 and felt sick. then got drunk after that cause realised my bf knew I was drinking from being red. Another fight... got back on them & like yourself would stop taking them for a few days so I could just have that 1 fun drink. but one is too many 10000 never enough! from taking 1 every 4 days I worked out I could have 2 drinks and not go red but realised the pattern lasts 1 month & I want another drink so I am going to be staying on them. God they are so expensive so I halve them but the security of knowing ill go red is enough not to drink. try them again, tell people your on them and most of all assure them that if your red to pull you up because I know when red all the foundation wont hide it and I sure aint going outside lol xxx sorry for the novel
Unknown300864
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 336
Originally Posted by MindfulLiving
Kahlia, how long have you been on Antabuse? Is it working for you? I was using it to try to moderate. Of course you have to take it every day for it to work, but I would try taking it for a few days, then off for a few. Crazy right? I didn't have enough willpower to stay on the antabuse because I knew it would eliminate my drinking opportunities. I feel like such a loser!
Once you take it theres no turning back so don't think just have them next to your bed ready to go and put it in your mouth & swallow!
PS: if you do drink on then it really pulls you back to say " wtf am I doing!"
Im not sure where I wrote it but I wrote my coping strategies I think on here somewhere xxx k
Unknown300864
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 336
I drink lots of ginger beer, solo with angostura bitters my lemon lime bitters & solo and tonic water to give off the gin & tonic effect. Bottle shops & food stores sell non alcoholic champagne beer & wine but to be honest never really loved the taste it's just been to get a buzz. I've become a series buff I hire series as old as the OC lol & watch them when I have a spare moment. There is also a website fanfiction.netyou can read all different scenarios of movies books anything. I loved 50 shades of grey books so I read all the good ones before bed or when bored. The gym helps but I'm not fit enough to not get sore after a 1 hr session. I found nlp hypnotherapy great as long as ur wanting to get help. For me now I'm sober it's like my partner drinks for the 2 of us FFS! Wyorking weekends & saving money makes me happy it's hard when I'm his taxi service fri sat nights but I know I have a job to do it's getting him to have the decency to leave so I can go to bed. Ever since I stopped drinking we go to our best friends & play board games which I find as long as I'm not bored it's all good. Antabuse saved me cause when u have 1 drink u go red & I know my partner will pick up straight away so it keeps me from drinking. As for stress I stuff up there as I take Valium & have really low self esteem but tea calms me
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Originally Posted by Carlotta
Speaking from personal experience and based on the meetings I attend (which are groups I consider healthy), coming back is definitely humbling on a personal level. It is admitting that alcohol whooped us and whooped us good but one thing it is not is humiliating. I shared on another thread about my experience coming back I hope this will encourage you to give it a go. If you are a bit gun shy to see the people you know just make your come back at a different meeting and once you feel stronger you can start attending our old group again if you feel like it: keep in mind that group dynamics can vary widely within AA meaning that while the format is often pretty much the same, meetings are different.
Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Originally Posted by Nuudawn
Hey Serindad. Do whatever you must. You found some success with AA previously...isn't that reason enough? There are things I like about AA and things I don't...nevertheless, they are sober people...trying to stay sober. We got something in common right there right? Why not be "open" to it? Why be closed? I went to a meeting the other night and I enjoyed it. The one tonight? Not so much. I put together 4 months last year with SR...but loneliness and isolation got to me. So now I have added AA meetings to the mix. If the fear of "I told you so" is the only reason from you going...well, just cut that out. Number 1, highly unlikely you would ever get that... If you do, just slap that b*tch and take a seat on the other side of the room! (kidding). For heaven's sakes...go.
Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Cypress Texas
Posts: 16
Serenidad.....maybe look for another AA near you which can offer a new crowd of people that can share your same pain and success. If anyone tells you..."we told you so"...stay clear from them. There is usually one in a group that may say something that you don't approve of however, that one should not determine or interfere with your wellness. Good for you to acknowledge that you need help. Good for you to reach out and ask for support. You are not alone and will NEVER be alone. You have support here and if face to face support is what you also need in addition, then it's there for you as well.
Quote - Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom in order to appreciate what is above it...
Quote - Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom in order to appreciate what is above it...
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Washington, MO
Posts: 2,306
Truth is, yer doin what needs to be done- none of us surrendered without the fight and pain- otherwise we'd still be drinking. Any which way you can. 4 yrs ago I did 8am meetings as an alternative to getting up and drinking--it worked (only had to white-knuckle 2 hrs for a few days as I usually started drinking at 6am). I still don't agree with a lot of AA stuff but the human communion is hard to beat.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Originally Posted by Wellnessgirl
Serenidad.....maybe look for another AA near you which can offer a new crowd of people that can share your same pain and success. If anyone tells you..."we told you so"...stay clear from them. There is usually one in a group that may say something that you don't approve of however, that one should not determine or interfere with your wellness. Good for you to acknowledge that you need help. Good for you to reach out and ask for support. You are not alone and will NEVER be alone. You have support here and if face to face support is what you also need in addition, then it's there for you as well. Quote - Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom in order to appreciate what is above it...
Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery
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