Alcoholics who remained sober for years then relapsed?
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: California
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Alcoholics who remained sober for years then relapsed?
Hello hope all are having a good day, I would like to hear your stories of people you know who were sober for years and then relapsed( and why) if possible. Also if you can tell us what happened to them afterward. For some reason when I hear these stories it helps me to remain humble in my sobriety and non complacent . God bless you all and happy sobriety
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,997
Hi Smiling,
I was one. I had 10 years from 28 to 38. Then decided to drink. It didn't sneak up on me. I just pretty much decided I wanted to find out if I grew out of it. I was only 28 when I quit and me quiting then had more to do with the huge disappointment and self loathing I ended up with more than the amount and frequency of what I drank. Don't get me wrong it was plenty. But back then I blended in easier. Pretty much all my friends back then partied.
It still was awful. So I quit.
I look back now and those 10 years were priceless. That's what I learned that yes, life still is fun, I'm pretty a okay all by myself. It was just stupid alcohol. It offered nothing then and it still doesn't.
So in my experiment to see if I grew out of it....I failed miserably. 15 years I drank. Sometimes somewhat normal but most times not. And low and behold all of the disappointment and self loathing came back full force and then some.
So a year and a half ago I quit again.
That 10 years was not a waste. It gave me that solid base to fall back on when it got hard. I knew for a fact life was better and that I could do it. And because of that 10 years I knew exactly what was causing all my misery. Drinking. I basically got to speed through a lot of stuff and get right to the quitting part.
I don't recommend it. I was lucky and I know it. But it was what it was.
It also sucks more quiting when you are older. However, truth be told drinking when you are older sucks worse.
So moral of my story. It was what it was. I learned an amazing amount of knowledge about myself and life in those 10 years that helped me this time. But I also played Russian roulette. It may very well not have gone that way. I am humbled and grateful that I realize this. I won't make that mistake again.
Not to mention I wasted 15 years. Now that kind of pisses me off once in awhile. But I don't dwell on it. It serves no purpose now.
I either drink or I don't. I don't. No future experiments necessary. I'm done forever. But I'm not stupid. I have a short memory. I have to remind myself of what a gift I have and to not blow it again. It's part of who I am. I'm okay with that. I stay on SR to help me remember not to take it for granted. And maybe I can help someone know that it's never to late and never give up.
Thanks for asking.
I was one. I had 10 years from 28 to 38. Then decided to drink. It didn't sneak up on me. I just pretty much decided I wanted to find out if I grew out of it. I was only 28 when I quit and me quiting then had more to do with the huge disappointment and self loathing I ended up with more than the amount and frequency of what I drank. Don't get me wrong it was plenty. But back then I blended in easier. Pretty much all my friends back then partied.
It still was awful. So I quit.
I look back now and those 10 years were priceless. That's what I learned that yes, life still is fun, I'm pretty a okay all by myself. It was just stupid alcohol. It offered nothing then and it still doesn't.
So in my experiment to see if I grew out of it....I failed miserably. 15 years I drank. Sometimes somewhat normal but most times not. And low and behold all of the disappointment and self loathing came back full force and then some.
So a year and a half ago I quit again.
That 10 years was not a waste. It gave me that solid base to fall back on when it got hard. I knew for a fact life was better and that I could do it. And because of that 10 years I knew exactly what was causing all my misery. Drinking. I basically got to speed through a lot of stuff and get right to the quitting part.
I don't recommend it. I was lucky and I know it. But it was what it was.
It also sucks more quiting when you are older. However, truth be told drinking when you are older sucks worse.
So moral of my story. It was what it was. I learned an amazing amount of knowledge about myself and life in those 10 years that helped me this time. But I also played Russian roulette. It may very well not have gone that way. I am humbled and grateful that I realize this. I won't make that mistake again.
Not to mention I wasted 15 years. Now that kind of pisses me off once in awhile. But I don't dwell on it. It serves no purpose now.
I either drink or I don't. I don't. No future experiments necessary. I'm done forever. But I'm not stupid. I have a short memory. I have to remind myself of what a gift I have and to not blow it again. It's part of who I am. I'm okay with that. I stay on SR to help me remember not to take it for granted. And maybe I can help someone know that it's never to late and never give up.
Thanks for asking.
Left the bottle behind 4/16/2015
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 1,416
The longest I've ever made it consistently sober was 2 years. That's a drop in the bucket compared to some around here. I definitely got complacent, and forgetful. It was the same old crazy idea that suddenly I'd be able to moderate. 10 years later, dotted with countless stops and starts, here I am at just over 5 weeks sober again. I've been communicating with my doctor about it this time, taking Antabuse, coming here regularly, and going to AA now and then. The duration of each return to alcohol has gotten shorter (and more intolerable) and I'm definitely learning why I absolutely cannot drink ever again.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I quit drinking in my early thirties. I was just tired of it all and tired of my dysfunctional relationships. So I got a little counseling (not related to drinking), read seemingly every self-help book on the market, got a divorce, spent a little time in church including getting baptized, quit drinking and weeded out toxic relationships where I could and cut way back on time spent with difficult family members.
I think I just grew up. Drinking just fell by the wayside. I knew it was a problem and was tired of it. I suspected I couldn't drink in moderation, so I didn't try. What was the point in moderate drinking? I wanted to be silly intoxicated.
Kept a job for over ten years, another for over seven, bought a home. Did not remarry.
Eighteen drink-free years passed. I didn't have a formal program, but I guess some people don't need one.
When all my family passed away and left me a little money and I was sick of my job, I took some time off. Time off meant travel and play. The sadness of my family being gone, a little money and too much free time turned out to be not such a great thing. I started drinking lightly. Within three or four years I was drinking until I passed out two or three times a week. I started not being able to drink moderately due to the anxiety and depression caused by and relieved by alcohol.
In March of this year I quit again. I went to 90 AA meetings in 90 days. Then I stopped going to meetings. It's funny that the AA 12 Steps were pretty much how I had kept my life on track for 18 years, but I had never read them. They are just a good, common sense way to live an honest life. I'm doing well so far. I addressed the elephant in the room - alcoholism - and accept that there will never be a time when I will be able to have a drink.
I got to that point by researching the physical aspect to alcoholism. I now understand the phenomenon of craving and progressive use. That was something I never knew before and was the missing piece to accepting total abstinence for me. I also knew how good it was to not drink, and the misery I had in the last couple years is not something I'm willing to revisit.
I think I just grew up. Drinking just fell by the wayside. I knew it was a problem and was tired of it. I suspected I couldn't drink in moderation, so I didn't try. What was the point in moderate drinking? I wanted to be silly intoxicated.
Kept a job for over ten years, another for over seven, bought a home. Did not remarry.
Eighteen drink-free years passed. I didn't have a formal program, but I guess some people don't need one.
When all my family passed away and left me a little money and I was sick of my job, I took some time off. Time off meant travel and play. The sadness of my family being gone, a little money and too much free time turned out to be not such a great thing. I started drinking lightly. Within three or four years I was drinking until I passed out two or three times a week. I started not being able to drink moderately due to the anxiety and depression caused by and relieved by alcohol.
In March of this year I quit again. I went to 90 AA meetings in 90 days. Then I stopped going to meetings. It's funny that the AA 12 Steps were pretty much how I had kept my life on track for 18 years, but I had never read them. They are just a good, common sense way to live an honest life. I'm doing well so far. I addressed the elephant in the room - alcoholism - and accept that there will never be a time when I will be able to have a drink.
I got to that point by researching the physical aspect to alcoholism. I now understand the phenomenon of craving and progressive use. That was something I never knew before and was the missing piece to accepting total abstinence for me. I also knew how good it was to not drink, and the misery I had in the last couple years is not something I'm willing to revisit.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,997
Thanks for sharing that Bimini. That has a similar ring to me too. I never married and had no children and eventually that wtf thing caught up with me. It's why I took the risk.
But that's when I realized that regardless of who was or wasn't in my life...I'm worth it. So there can never be a wtf moment again. I'm the one who suffers and if I say that it's just like saying f me. I don't want to talk that way to myself. I deserve better from myself. Everyone does.
This is what I love about SR. The vast experiences. Many many different stories. Each equally significant. Somewhere in here is always one that makes you say yeah, that's me too. All offered in honesty and with only the motivation to receive and give hope to those of us that suffered because of alcohol no matter what level of suffering it was.
But that's when I realized that regardless of who was or wasn't in my life...I'm worth it. So there can never be a wtf moment again. I'm the one who suffers and if I say that it's just like saying f me. I don't want to talk that way to myself. I deserve better from myself. Everyone does.
This is what I love about SR. The vast experiences. Many many different stories. Each equally significant. Somewhere in here is always one that makes you say yeah, that's me too. All offered in honesty and with only the motivation to receive and give hope to those of us that suffered because of alcohol no matter what level of suffering it was.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,909
Originally Posted by biminiblue 
I got to that point by researching the physical aspect to alcoholism. I now understand the phenomenon of craving and progressive use. That was something I never knew before and was the missing piece to accepting total abstinence for me.
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: usa
Posts: 3,938
I was one-I quit in my 30's for about 7 years. I had stopped going to meetings and started hanging out with a drinking gang of people. I felt I was missing out on some fun and figured I could handle it. I really didn't care about anything. ..especially myself. So I resumed drinking and went 10 years until I stopped again in February. It was ok-and I was lucky nothing real horrible happened. I still functioned in my career.But I wasn't happy, had constant low grade depression, was on and off antidepressants, and felt horrible most of the time. I didn't dare drive so I isolated at home by myself. I had a minimal social life. I wasted many weekends in bed with hangovers. It took me about a year to really quit this time. I tried time and again to control my drinking. I was so angry at myself for not being able to drink one or two like normal people. So I quit in February. Instead of thinking I'd never drink again, I took it one day at a time. Then I stumbled on this site. SR had enabled me to abstain for 5 plus months now. I don't go to AA, but I am on SR about 2x/day. I feel so much better now. I am grateful every day that I wake up without a hangover. I am more active and I am not ashamed of myself. I think about things and, resolve problems. I make changes in my life when necessary, instead of hiding in an alcoholic fog. I think when we go back to drinking we expect things to be different. I found it isn't different, it's just the same and we put our lives on hold emotionally and spiritually until we stop again. I would not recommend starting to drink again to anyone. For me, I need to be reminded as I tend to forget.
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
I went to bed last night, I was a drunk, I got up this morning, nothing has changed.
I've been on here a good number of years, I get broader perspective from my local aa of the effects.
Alcoholics have a tendency to forget the pain the made them come on here or to a meeting rehab jail etc. etc.
What ever you face in life, good bad or ugly a drink does nothing to improve it period.
Now, I really like to stop in on the newcomers page too often. I'm not big on typing a great deal. I've got over 5400 + days of not screwing my life up by continuing down the same path I was on.
You can read what you want into what I say or not. I don't care, I'm selfish about my sobriety.
The difference in living in a solution and living in the problem is serenity .
I've been on here a good number of years, I get broader perspective from my local aa of the effects.
Alcoholics have a tendency to forget the pain the made them come on here or to a meeting rehab jail etc. etc.
What ever you face in life, good bad or ugly a drink does nothing to improve it period.
Now, I really like to stop in on the newcomers page too often. I'm not big on typing a great deal. I've got over 5400 + days of not screwing my life up by continuing down the same path I was on.
You can read what you want into what I say or not. I don't care, I'm selfish about my sobriety.
The difference in living in a solution and living in the problem is serenity .
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
i went to aa when i was just 23 years old, as my weekend binge drinking got me into all sorts of trouble with the law and at home etc
i stuck around aa for 3 years then as i was now sober i didnt need aa anymore so i cut my meetings down to just 1 meeting a week and then just stopped going
i had a job now and i was chasing money and i was making good money so i carried on living this sober dry life for 15 years
then i wanted to put what aa said to the test namely if i pick up the first drink i will get drunk
so i went out and tried it with drinking just 1 drink and i swore to myself if i end up in a police cell for the night then i would know its right and i would never do it again
anyway i had that 1 drink and went home
so i tried it again the next time but this time i tried it with 2 pints and that went ok as i went home and didnt behave like a loony or wake up hung over with guilt shame or remorse
so i went out the next time and tried it with 4 pints and bingo i was happy with it i had hit the spot were the drink made me happy and free but not to drunk that i didnt know what i was doing : )
i thought of chapter 3 in the big book were it says if you can go out and drink like a gentleman our hats our off to you
and i thought of all the aa memebers who would have to take there hat off to me as i could now drink normaly
to cut it short 8 years on from picking up that first drink, i lost my business, i lost all my money, i lost my family with 2 of my small kids being removed from my ex wife and my care as we were battling drunks not fit to look after the kids
i was drinking every day and even gone back to prison
my life was hell all over again but much much worse
when i crawled into aa i had nothing left i was lucky to have a flat that was given to me by a hostel housing
i would of been out on the streets if not for that
so i came back to aa beaten just like they told me would happen to me if i was an alcoholic
today 10 years on from my last drink and getting back into aa
i have my kids back living with me as a single parent dad, i have a job, i have some money again, i have peace in my life even though i am still grieving the death of one of my young sons who died from stomach cancer at just 16 years old
i had to nurse him all the way along as there is no one else his own mother is still out there drinking herself silly and even more so now we lost our son as its all about her and how she can not cope with it so she is drinking and living that drunken lifestyle she is a great reminder to me of how lucky i am that i am not drinking myself silly the same
but thanks to aa and how i live my life today i am coping and just getting on with each day as it comes
i will never again leave the rooms of aa as i know what happend to me when i left last time but thats just for me
i stuck around aa for 3 years then as i was now sober i didnt need aa anymore so i cut my meetings down to just 1 meeting a week and then just stopped going
i had a job now and i was chasing money and i was making good money so i carried on living this sober dry life for 15 years
then i wanted to put what aa said to the test namely if i pick up the first drink i will get drunk
so i went out and tried it with drinking just 1 drink and i swore to myself if i end up in a police cell for the night then i would know its right and i would never do it again
anyway i had that 1 drink and went home
so i tried it again the next time but this time i tried it with 2 pints and that went ok as i went home and didnt behave like a loony or wake up hung over with guilt shame or remorse
so i went out the next time and tried it with 4 pints and bingo i was happy with it i had hit the spot were the drink made me happy and free but not to drunk that i didnt know what i was doing : )
i thought of chapter 3 in the big book were it says if you can go out and drink like a gentleman our hats our off to you
and i thought of all the aa memebers who would have to take there hat off to me as i could now drink normaly
to cut it short 8 years on from picking up that first drink, i lost my business, i lost all my money, i lost my family with 2 of my small kids being removed from my ex wife and my care as we were battling drunks not fit to look after the kids
i was drinking every day and even gone back to prison
my life was hell all over again but much much worse
when i crawled into aa i had nothing left i was lucky to have a flat that was given to me by a hostel housing
i would of been out on the streets if not for that
so i came back to aa beaten just like they told me would happen to me if i was an alcoholic
today 10 years on from my last drink and getting back into aa
i have my kids back living with me as a single parent dad, i have a job, i have some money again, i have peace in my life even though i am still grieving the death of one of my young sons who died from stomach cancer at just 16 years old
i had to nurse him all the way along as there is no one else his own mother is still out there drinking herself silly and even more so now we lost our son as its all about her and how she can not cope with it so she is drinking and living that drunken lifestyle she is a great reminder to me of how lucky i am that i am not drinking myself silly the same
but thanks to aa and how i live my life today i am coping and just getting on with each day as it comes
i will never again leave the rooms of aa as i know what happend to me when i left last time but thats just for me
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Ojai, CA
Posts: 137
I had 10 years sober. I loved my sobriety, never really thought about drinking at all, for years and I was a terrible alcoholic. But because of that, I stopped paying attention and reminding myself who I was, or a big part of who I was. I always kept wine in the fridge for company and cooking. I was prescribed Valium by my doctor for a situation I was in and low and behold, loved that **** too! Started popping those things like candy....just booze in a pill form really. So that altered the additive brain back to active, and within a month I pulled out a old bottle of wine and drank.
Took me 16 years of black out drinking, binge drinking, driving drunk, denial, (I still have my job, house, etc. etc) But this time around my drinking was hostile, ugly....before I had been just a major party girl who made everyone laugh and couldn't remember anything the next day..) I lost and alienated friends, lost out on huge opportunities that could have changed my life...I had cravings this time like I never experienced, I literally could not shut up the voice that said, it's okay, just have a couple...I EVEN drank TWICE on antabuse the cravings were so bad....(THATS a whole other story) I thank god I made it back, but again took 16 years of every day saying I was going to stop again....I had used AA before, this time I just feel on my knees and said HELP ME.....That was 5 months ago, clean since. But I have to re create my life every day, if I don't do that...my ****** up head will take me back once again. I am lucky that again, I LOVE sobriety--it is an awesome state of mind once the obsession lifts....but all I can say is: Never Stop Paying Attention at some level of this malady that lives silently in our heads....just waiting and waiting. It's a patient disease, and it does want us back. Peace!
Took me 16 years of black out drinking, binge drinking, driving drunk, denial, (I still have my job, house, etc. etc) But this time around my drinking was hostile, ugly....before I had been just a major party girl who made everyone laugh and couldn't remember anything the next day..) I lost and alienated friends, lost out on huge opportunities that could have changed my life...I had cravings this time like I never experienced, I literally could not shut up the voice that said, it's okay, just have a couple...I EVEN drank TWICE on antabuse the cravings were so bad....(THATS a whole other story) I thank god I made it back, but again took 16 years of every day saying I was going to stop again....I had used AA before, this time I just feel on my knees and said HELP ME.....That was 5 months ago, clean since. But I have to re create my life every day, if I don't do that...my ****** up head will take me back once again. I am lucky that again, I LOVE sobriety--it is an awesome state of mind once the obsession lifts....but all I can say is: Never Stop Paying Attention at some level of this malady that lives silently in our heads....just waiting and waiting. It's a patient disease, and it does want us back. Peace!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Lori, that thing with the Valium.
It just occurred to me that I had been prescribed Xanax, and that very soon after I started drinking again. Interesting, don't know why I didn't connect the fact that it reawakened my addictive brain. Thanks for that. Xanax/Valium/benzos are definitely booze in a pill.
Sad thing is that my Harvard educated doctor with addiction in the family still tries to prescribe it if I even mention anxiety - and that's after knowing my problem with alcohol. . .so I've learned to stop the prescribing myself by refusal.
It just occurred to me that I had been prescribed Xanax, and that very soon after I started drinking again. Interesting, don't know why I didn't connect the fact that it reawakened my addictive brain. Thanks for that. Xanax/Valium/benzos are definitely booze in a pill.
Sad thing is that my Harvard educated doctor with addiction in the family still tries to prescribe it if I even mention anxiety - and that's after knowing my problem with alcohol. . .so I've learned to stop the prescribing myself by refusal.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
I was sober for twenty years before I started drinking again, just one glass of wine in the afternoon to 'calm down' before the kids got home from high school. Within six months I was drinking all day, every day. 
I've now been sober four and a half years.
I've now been sober four and a half years. Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 621
I began drinking again after over 6 years of sobriety. I was triggered by the death of my best friend. I became so focused on being her support person that I wasn't investing enough time and energy in placing my sobriety first. She died nearly 5 years ago and I am now two and a half months sober. I saw in my recent drinking years that my alcoholism really did get worse - my behaviours, secrecy and lying just got worse. I become so desperate. My experience of full blown relapse terrifies me. I must never become complacent again.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
I only had 2 months as my 'record' before I got sober in 07.
I did want to mention tho members like the late CarolD and Laurie6781 and people like Anna, RobbyRobot, GtGrandpa, wpainter RustyZipper NoelleR and many others I could name who have decades of recovery.
Relapse is not inevitable
D
I did want to mention tho members like the late CarolD and Laurie6781 and people like Anna, RobbyRobot, GtGrandpa, wpainter RustyZipper NoelleR and many others I could name who have decades of recovery.
Relapse is not inevitable
D
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