Do I have a problem or a condition?
Omnivore
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Winter Water Wonder Land
Posts: 516
Do I have a problem or a condition?
There was a recent poster who accused another of being just a "problem drinker" and not an alcoholic. Seems like splitting hairs to me. Maybe someone can explain the difference? Is it ok to keep on drinking if you are just a problem? Is it easier to quit if you are just a problem? Maybe I'm an example of a problem?
When I was in my teens and twenties, I could have one drink one day and then not again for weeks. I could also get together with the boys and put down huge amounts of liquor very quickly, pass out, be puking all over myself for hours and be sick and unable to function for a day or more after that. I only did that binge drinking thing a few times though. I couldn't take the pain.
I learned to notice when the room started spinning and to then stop drinking alcohol and switch to water. I read that pounding huge amounts of water would counter the over consumption of alcohol.
It worked. I learned to "control" my drinking at least so I could avoid passing out and being miserably sick for a day or more. Eventually I learned to not get to the point of even needing the water. I was so "under control" that I could drink every day, get a pretty good buzz on, but still get up every morning with no pain and go to work. The only people that thought I even had a problem with drinking were the ones that saw me late at night or heard from me late at night.
I found myself drinking constantly. I mean except when I was at work or with my kids at a kids event. Otherwise I needed to have something in me. Not a lot but something. Most of the time I just had a light buzz going such that I could be out in the world and no one could tell I was drinking at all. I passed for sober. And then when night fell and it was ok to be buzzed, I'd drink more. Not a passing out binge but enough to be noticeably buzzed. And this was 365 days a year, for many years.
Late at night I'd been pulled back from physically threatening guys twice my size and half my age. I'd sent some doozy emails that I could not believe in the light of day. I spent the night in jail twice for offending officers of the law. But by day I was apparently a rational sober guy. Most nights I just holed up in my bedroom or garage and caused no damage except to myself.
I come from a family of such drinkers so it seemed normal. I had grandparents that drank even more and they lived to ripe old ages. In my business it is typical to be hard drinking after 5 PM. It often felt like we were all so invincible we could be hard drinkers AND successful. If you could not drink with us and be successful then you really were not successful. Certainly not one of us with the super power to drink copiously and have no ill effects.
Still, I saw a problem. I did not like being so dependent. Needing to buy so much alcohol that I had to have a multitude of places to buy it, so that I would not be ashamed to show my face, again, buying it. I needed to have it every time I had a moment of down time. I needed to always plan out how to be sure I would have it on hand at all times.
I tried to cut back to weekends only. I was miserable all week anticipating when I could drink and in the end it did not work. I went from drinking Fri and Sat to Fri, Sat and Sun to Thursday, Fri, Sat and Sunday to... surprise, you guessed it,,, every day. I tried drinking only on special occasions. Pretty soon I was able to find a "special" reason to drink every day. It is really not hard if you try.
I could see that my drinking was, literally, out of control. I could keep from passing out drunk but could not keep from being drunk, every day. So that is ok then, right? If I'm just a moderate but everyday drunk, is that even a problem? I decided yes.
I came to the realization that if I really wanted to cut back I'd have to quit. Just as soon as I realized that I also realized if I wanted to quit, I could do that. I started taking Antabuse. Its been a bit more than a month now.
I know if I stop taking Antabuse I will be drinking as much as ever within days. So do I have a little problem with drinking or am I an alcoholic? Is this a distinction without a difference?
When I was in my teens and twenties, I could have one drink one day and then not again for weeks. I could also get together with the boys and put down huge amounts of liquor very quickly, pass out, be puking all over myself for hours and be sick and unable to function for a day or more after that. I only did that binge drinking thing a few times though. I couldn't take the pain.
I learned to notice when the room started spinning and to then stop drinking alcohol and switch to water. I read that pounding huge amounts of water would counter the over consumption of alcohol.
It worked. I learned to "control" my drinking at least so I could avoid passing out and being miserably sick for a day or more. Eventually I learned to not get to the point of even needing the water. I was so "under control" that I could drink every day, get a pretty good buzz on, but still get up every morning with no pain and go to work. The only people that thought I even had a problem with drinking were the ones that saw me late at night or heard from me late at night.
I found myself drinking constantly. I mean except when I was at work or with my kids at a kids event. Otherwise I needed to have something in me. Not a lot but something. Most of the time I just had a light buzz going such that I could be out in the world and no one could tell I was drinking at all. I passed for sober. And then when night fell and it was ok to be buzzed, I'd drink more. Not a passing out binge but enough to be noticeably buzzed. And this was 365 days a year, for many years.
Late at night I'd been pulled back from physically threatening guys twice my size and half my age. I'd sent some doozy emails that I could not believe in the light of day. I spent the night in jail twice for offending officers of the law. But by day I was apparently a rational sober guy. Most nights I just holed up in my bedroom or garage and caused no damage except to myself.
I come from a family of such drinkers so it seemed normal. I had grandparents that drank even more and they lived to ripe old ages. In my business it is typical to be hard drinking after 5 PM. It often felt like we were all so invincible we could be hard drinkers AND successful. If you could not drink with us and be successful then you really were not successful. Certainly not one of us with the super power to drink copiously and have no ill effects.
Still, I saw a problem. I did not like being so dependent. Needing to buy so much alcohol that I had to have a multitude of places to buy it, so that I would not be ashamed to show my face, again, buying it. I needed to have it every time I had a moment of down time. I needed to always plan out how to be sure I would have it on hand at all times.
I tried to cut back to weekends only. I was miserable all week anticipating when I could drink and in the end it did not work. I went from drinking Fri and Sat to Fri, Sat and Sun to Thursday, Fri, Sat and Sunday to... surprise, you guessed it,,, every day. I tried drinking only on special occasions. Pretty soon I was able to find a "special" reason to drink every day. It is really not hard if you try.
I could see that my drinking was, literally, out of control. I could keep from passing out drunk but could not keep from being drunk, every day. So that is ok then, right? If I'm just a moderate but everyday drunk, is that even a problem? I decided yes.
I came to the realization that if I really wanted to cut back I'd have to quit. Just as soon as I realized that I also realized if I wanted to quit, I could do that. I started taking Antabuse. Its been a bit more than a month now.
I know if I stop taking Antabuse I will be drinking as much as ever within days. So do I have a little problem with drinking or am I an alcoholic? Is this a distinction without a difference?
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by walkbeformakrun 
So do I have a little problem with drinking or am I an alcoholic? Is this a distinction without a difference?
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by walkbeformakrun
I know if I stop taking Antabuse I will be drinking as much as ever within days. So do I have a little problem with drinking or am I an alcoholic? Is this a distinction without a difference?
As far as my answer to your question, as others have said only you can truly decide if you are an alcoholic or not. My personal opinion is that yes, you are absolutely an alcoholic - or at very best you have a very severe drinking problem. Based on your statment above there is no other logical conclusion that I could come to.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Sterling VA
Posts: 11
thinking you got this thing
I'm around alcoholics every day as part of my recovery. I've heard over a thousand different stories in the past year. My personal opinion is that you're not a borderline case. You've got this thing. You can start the path to a better life by just getting it over with and admitting it. Acceptance is key. Put down the bag of bricks, dust yourself off and ask "now what?". You're not a bad person trying to become a good person. You're a sick person who needs to get well. The good news is you can. You don't have stage 4 cancer....you're an alcoholic. We can't cure you, but permanent remission isn't a bad deal. It starts with Acceptance.
Omnivore
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Winter Water Wonder Land
Posts: 516
Originally Posted by Dunnd40
I'm around alcoholics every day as part of my recovery. I've heard over a thousand different stories in the past year. My personal opinion is that you're not a borderline case. You've got this thing. You can start the path to a better life by just getting it over with and admitting it. Acceptance is key. Put down the bag of bricks, dust yourself off and ask "now what?". You're not a bad person trying to become a good person. You're a sick person who needs to get well. The good news is you can. You don't have stage 4 cancer....you're an alcoholic. We can't cure you, but permanent remission isn't a bad deal. It starts with Acceptance.
So maybe it is just a stupid question as to whether I've merely got a problem or a disease. It just seemed so important to that one poster.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
no one can tell you if your an alcoholic or not my friend only you can make your mind up on that one, how i made my mind up despite all the obvious signs of how my life was, is simple i listened to other alcholics in aa who described there own drinking, how they lived, all the rubbish that went with it etc this made my mind up i was like them.
its also descibed in the big book as well as i took one home and read it over and over i had no money for a book so a kind old lady in aa gave me one as i had nothing when i came into aa
in aa i felt odd as many people had there familys, jobs, money, cars etc i had nothing left it had all gone thanks to my obbession with drinking and the fact i did nothing about it in all the years i could of done something,
as you described your drinking you also described exactly how it progressed in me i went from a bindge drinker to drinking 24/7 drinking every day and losing my job my money going to prison for drunken sprees etc
coming out of prision swearing i will never do it again yet ending up in the same dam mess
i am an alcoholic. i suffer from alcoholism. i not only need to get off the drink but also i need a change in me as a person to how i live my life each day but my first problem and most important problem is how i get through a day without picking up a drink
so if you have a problem trying to not pick up a drink then maybe aa might be able to help you there ?
as they helped me 10 years ago and i havent had to pick up a single drink again since, and the good news is that i dont even think or want a drink it just doesn't play a part in my daily living pther than trying to help someone else who is in need with there own battle with the booze,
its also descibed in the big book as well as i took one home and read it over and over i had no money for a book so a kind old lady in aa gave me one as i had nothing when i came into aa
in aa i felt odd as many people had there familys, jobs, money, cars etc i had nothing left it had all gone thanks to my obbession with drinking and the fact i did nothing about it in all the years i could of done something,
as you described your drinking you also described exactly how it progressed in me i went from a bindge drinker to drinking 24/7 drinking every day and losing my job my money going to prison for drunken sprees etc
coming out of prision swearing i will never do it again yet ending up in the same dam mess
i am an alcoholic. i suffer from alcoholism. i not only need to get off the drink but also i need a change in me as a person to how i live my life each day but my first problem and most important problem is how i get through a day without picking up a drink
so if you have a problem trying to not pick up a drink then maybe aa might be able to help you there ?
as they helped me 10 years ago and i havent had to pick up a single drink again since, and the good news is that i dont even think or want a drink it just doesn't play a part in my daily living pther than trying to help someone else who is in need with there own battle with the booze,
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Sterling VA
Posts: 11
what's next?
I wasn't actually suggesting you see what's next if you continue drinking. After I came to grips with the problem at hand I was curious to see what's next on the road to recovery ("now what?"). Now....you just have to come to believe that you can't tackle this problem by yourself. The good news is you don't have to. I'm on your side, my good fellow. I'm just trying to walk you up the first couple steps.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by walkbeformakrun
It just seemed so important to that one poster.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
All the various gradations that get thrown around remind me of a drowning man...
he's not aquatically deficient, water-affected or oxygen-challenged - he's *drowning*.
My advice is forget the gradations and the labels and go to the heart of your problem - your relationship with alcohol.
he's not aquatically deficient, water-affected or oxygen-challenged - he's *drowning*.
My advice is forget the gradations and the labels and go to the heart of your problem - your relationship with alcohol.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
In my mind, addiction is on a spectrum. There is much talk about whether someone is a "real alcoholic" or a "problem drinker" and well, it angers me beyond belief. It appears to me that a lot of AA text seems to revolve around late stage alcoholism (as in damn near death). Whether your in Stage 1 Cancer or Stage 4...you still got cancer.
You wanna keep growing that cancer or you want to arrest it?
What does problem drinker really mean? Come back later when your liver or pancreas gives out?
You wanna keep growing that cancer or you want to arrest it?
What does problem drinker really mean? Come back later when your liver or pancreas gives out?
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Washington, MO
Posts: 2,306
"Alcoholic" is a word some people have a problem with but in reality covers the whole spectrum of "out-of-control-drinking"- from beer-bong-frat-partier to wet brain. Don't think you're a duck? Stop quacking! The problem is folks on either end of the spectrum comparing themselves to others. Our only barometer is ourselves.
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