Windancer

I have tried sooo many times to stop drinking. Ive tried to moderate. Every time I try to do damage control with moderating, I break all my rules....I pour doubles (or more), I sneak alcohol, I steal from someone else's bottle, I lie about how much I got or drank etc. Ive tried AA, got to several treatment plans etc etc. But I think the biggest and most important thing for me to do is make a HUGE lifestyle and attitude change. I think I need to be more positive....as much as I can. I shoot myself in the darn foot so often! I've done my best when Ive been on a strict self help/workout routine, read AVRT bullets, followed a strict healthy diet and worked with my naturopath doctor, have gone to see my psychologist regularly, and posted EVERY DAY on here. But I always seem to overwhelm myself with things, get upset, and then get nothing done. I am the QUEEN of great plans and intentions, with no follow through . I want to be done with alcohol....but I don't feel Im set up for success, or not ready or something.

FreeOwl

well... you're being honest and that's a big step in the process.

Sometimes, our initial efforts don't get us there because we haven't gotten to that SHIFT yet. We go to AA and "try" it. We go to a program expecting it to 'fix' us.... but we have yet to learn that we need to fundamentally shift ourselves to align with that desire to stop the madness and life a joyful, sober life.

Sounds like you're at that stage where you really, truly WANT it and are ready to make that shift.

It's a shift in many areas of life and no one thing - AA, Soberrecovery, a program - is going to "fix" it. It's a journey and you will need to embrace all the things that can help support your goal, while being willing to leave some things behind.

You're in a good place for support in that, we're here to help and your coming here and posting has helped US as well.

You can do this.

Windancer

You are correct, FreeOwl. I need to make that shift....permanently. In the past, I think Ive done it for others....my parents, partner etc. I need to do it for ME. Obviously I want to do it to stop hurting my partner too and save my relationship, yet the crux of it has to be for ME. I also have co-dependent issues. And really, many people would love to be in my shoes (minus the addictions and issues of course). I live on a gorgeous 70 acre farm, have beautiful horses, and other animals, have a man that adores me. Im well respected by most in this area as a very effective and kind horse trainer. Sometimes I wonder if I just take things for granted, or maybe more accurately, Im stuck in "victim mode" which serves no one, especially me.

least

I hope our support can help you stop drinking for good.

HockeyGuy

Did I write this? Because I totally could have haha. I think you're (we're) on the right track, with the AVRT and SR. I really think it's possible to quit drinking, and quit drinking permanently. I guess it's only easy for people that don't really have a problem with it in the first place. Keep focused!

Windancer

Thanks Hockey Guy. Nice to know Im not the only one haha.

IOAA2

hi. Like many others I had a good blueprint of my drinking but was dishonest with myself at the same time. Like I wasn’t that bad to which I was told add the word YET. I drank when I felt good and bad, in fact I drank more than I wanted to be sober.
Then when the pain got bad enough I started to talk with fellowship people about the feelings I was trying to escape from with alcohol and a path dealing with the reasons was opened to me at meetings which require work on MYSELF, not people, places and things. ME.\

Many years later I’m comfortable in my own skin most of the time. Bad things still happen but my drinking will never make them better.
For me it started when I finally heard the repeated words “LET GO AND KEEP COMING.”

BE WELL

Windancer

Thanks, least. Everyone's support help so much before, Im sure it will again. And it warmed my heart to help and support others on here too.