HockeyGuy

Hahah, yeah I always felt I was smoother and less nervous around the ladies when I had some liquid courage. In fact I've had entire relationships based around alcohol haha.. I can laugh about it now because I know those relationships really weren't going to go anywhere anyway.. but it's kind of sad honestly. Anyway, I'm actively trying to improve my communication and outgoingness.. without poisoning my body I guess it will improve over time.

And yeah, I don't really go on beaver hunts. I prefer moose hunts. That's even Canadianer.

haha

KAD

When it comes right down to it, I guess that's true. The author of The New Cure, and founder of RR, said that when people have drinking buddies, only their "beasts" or their addictions are friends with each other. The real people are subdued by that when actively engaged in drinking. That's why often, once you quit, those "friends" have a tendency to disappear or you lose interest in them, unless there was something more solid there than just drinking.

SparkyMcSparky

Welcome my brother from another mother.

Small town, check!
Public job, check!
Not liking to share personal stuff with other strangers in person, check!

Gotta love the old interwebs - SR seems to be the perfect type of support group for me and my addiction.

Good luck - day 10 here, and things do get better. In reading your post though, I would suggest using more assertive language such as:

"I feel like I have a handle on it" to:

I do not have a handle on my drinking. I have a problem.

"I'm (hopefully) better prepared to prevent future slip-ups" to:

[I]I will not drink again[I]

We're all here because we cannot control our drinking - the sooner we face this, and the sooner we develop steely resolve the fight it, the quicker we'll get health.

Welcome here!

poofu02

Is binge drinking the social norm at where your from? It is the social norm in my state in general, which makes it more difficult to abstain from it as all my friends always go out on the weekends. There are a lot of small towns and every small town is guaranteed to have a bar.

HockeyGuy

So true.. though I definitely have come to terms that I have no control over my drinking. What I meant by "I feel like I have a handle on it" is just that I feel like I have a grasp on keeping myself sober. I've been getting into the "why?" I drink a lot lately.. and I feel that's helped me a lot in understanding why I get these cravings, so it's helped me avoid them. Although I have slipped a couple of times over the past few months, I dust myself off and continue along, and I feel extremely positive about my sobriety at this point.

But yeah I do agree with you - unless we completely come to terms that we really have no control, then nothing will change. Amen to that ma man!

HockeyGuy

Binge drinking is normal for sure where I come from.. and I come from a large family full of alcoholics. I wouldn't say they're bingers.. they basically drink whenever they want, which is probably mostly every day! It's wild. I was at that point myself a few years ago...

Jupiters

welcome HockeyGuy
glad you decided to join us!!!

Lostinhk

Oh you are kidding me! I just spent 20 mins writing a long reply and safari crashed on my ipad! Argh!

Hockey, the gist of my message was - firstly congratulations on making the decision to improve your life, that's a HUGE step.

Secondly, the only reason people feel abnormal about not drinking is because it's something that's been ingrained into our culture for 7000 (yes, 7000) years. That's a heck of a long time. However, these days sober or "straight edge" living is becoming more accepted and commonplace. Even if it's not the norm in your area, you are still a normal guy. In fact, it sounds like you're the smart one of your group as you're the only one that realises getting hammered and blacking out is not a fun thing.

I wish you all the best in your new life mate! Btw, who's your team?

HockeyGuy

Thanks, pal. Sorry about your Safari crash - mine is like that too haha. And, my team is Toronto. Maybe that's why I used to drink?

Who's your team?

Jupiters

*spits green tea out all over keyboard*

SparkyMcSparky

Funny, I'm now 10 days in, and I find my main cause of drinking was.....

Drumroll please......

DRINKING!!!!

In fact, the guilt and self-loathing created by my sneaking around and over-consuming looks it was my main reason for drinking. After getting through the first week, and understanding what my AV was, I find I virtually never crave drink any more.

Even while watching the Bombers get beaten last night, I ate ice cream instead.

Though there may be something to the Leafs/drinking theory. LOL.

Best wishes with your recovery. I've personally found the "Under one Year" thread in the newcomer daily support forum to be very helpful. If you are interested in a secular recovery, there are good threads in there too.

Lostinhk

Haha! Well once upon a time they were good. I'm in the same boat, I've always been a Flames fan since the days of Theoren Fluery, lucky I'm not a big drinker now! lol

How's your progress going mate?

SonomaGal

Nice first post!! I joined back in August 2013, lurked a lot, read a lot, but didn't post until late May 2014. I'm so glad I finally started engaging in conversations about sobriety because my comfort, hope, and knowledge has increased by leaps and bounds since then. Of course that could also be because I'm nearing 9 months, but I definitely feel SR deserves a huge amount of the credit for helping me feel accepted, and getting me out of my head, among other things.

Welcome!!!!

MelindaFlowers

Hi Hockeyguy!
I am glad you joined us. It sounds to me like you are ready to be done drinking. I could relate to so much in your post and I am also done drinking as of 22 days ago. I think we're also about the same age. I'm 32. I also drank every night and my most preferred evening was alone, with my favorite drug to just tune out and what I thought was relaxing: vodka. To find some semblance of relaxation I consumed about the same amount as you: 10 to fifteen standard units of alcohol every night. Finally, I just got so tried of the rollercoaster. You reminded me of what a relief it's been the past few weeks to wake up and not have to worry about who I texted or what I posed on Facebook. It has not been easy to stop drinking by any stretch of the imagination but it's worth it. It sounds to me like you are also done. Welcome.

SnoozyQ

I really like your post Melinda You sound like ou are on the right track too ;-) keep going , 22 days is a fantastic start .

And oh geez! I don't miss those horror moments , wKing and wondering what i wrote on Facebook or who i texted . My next morning was a deleting frenzy , hoping people hadn't seen my drunken ramblings ..

Thank god those days are over. Phew

hayley86

Welcome! Glad you've joined us.

HockeyGuy

Thanks for the post! I would have definitely drank vodka instead of beer, but even in my addictive fog it was obvious hard liquor was never an option for me as I got into trouble almost every single time. At least, i figured, if I stuck with beer I had a fighting chance not to screw everything up. It's funny how that works. Good luck to both of us, keep me posted of your ups and downs along yor path.

HockeyGuy

I hear that!! I always was divided.. I got the standard "how drunk were you?" And I'd always be like "I wasn't even drunk" and then id have to face whatever mayhem I caused with the texts, phone convo, Facebook message, or whatever on earth I did.

I really... Really... Don't miss that.

Lostinhk

That's only happened to me a few times but it was enough to make me look at my own drinking. I think a lot of people do that but they don't really think there's a problem with it. Personally, it mortified me.

courage2

Welcome to the SR community, friend! I know you've been lurking, but it's when you interact that you can feel the strength of the support here increase exponentially.

You sound like a sensible, decent guy -- don't underestimate those qualities. Among kids, silly outbreaks & outrageous risky behavior are considered cool, but as you get older you'll find that good people -- people who do stuff like marry you & promote you and care about you through bad times -- value sensible & decent.

I have no opinion on AA or no AA although I need some face-to-face support, and I need it badly enough that I'm not overly picky about what style it comes in. I always think it's kind of funny that when we get sober we're suddenly so particular, "I can't go to such-and-such group, I don't agree with this or that program." When, on a barstool, was I ever particular about who I talked to or what they believed in, if they were paying? When did I suddenly acquire so much pride in my principles? I sure never had it as a drunk!

So much for my rant -- my program calls for one a day I strongly recommend you join the class for the month you stopped drinking under Newcomer's Daily Support threads (or under Newcomers to Recovery forum if it's July), and take a look at the One Year and Under daily support thread and the 24 Hour Recovery Connection thread. It's helped me a lot to have some small groups on SR that I connect with daily.

Best wishes, HockeyGuy!