Nowsthetime

I completely relate. Whenever I told anyone they said "you are not an alcoholic" but really, it is really not up to them to decide. You are the President and CEO of your life and it is up to you to make the call. I'm so glad I did.

walkbeformakrun

When I first quit, I didn't tell anyone bc I was not sure it would stick. When I was sober for a couple weeks I started to tell a few people about my decision. Then I started to think, why am I telling this person? Does this person need to know? I'm not one to depend upon the opinion of others to help me determine how to act so I was't telling people to help me decide to quit or not. So it has come down to, do they need to know? Rarely do I find it necessary to tell anyone anymore.

sunnyside1

Ummm, well that really hit a nerve with me. So Dr. Seuss or not,I thank you

Tonymblue

I feel the same way. I had such a tolerance and hid it so well that some people are shocked. They just know my front stage. I feel that i have a very real problem that i habe to address. Lately i just have a mocktail and dont say a word about it. Its just easier.

Anna

I didn't tell anyone in my life that I was stopping drinking. It was obvious to my husband and children, but no one else knew. I didn't want comments from anyone. My self-esteem was a mess and I had finally made the decision to stop. The last thing I wanted was for someone to tell me they didn't think I needed to stop.

You know what you need to do.

least

Don't pay attention to your friends. Pay attention to yourself, how you feel.

360shoes

I used to hear that a lot too. Long ago when I quit when I was 28. I was a lite drinker to most people back then. They didn't see it all and they certainly didn't have to live in my head so I get they had opinions based on what they saw. And that's all it is. Their opinion.

This time around no one has said a thing but good for you shoes for quitting. And that's all that's been said. Everyone acts like nothing has changed. Not one of my friends care whether I drink. They just want me to be happy whatever that means.

I like me better sober. And I mean I REALLY like me better sober. I'm much more fabulous now. And I don't mean that like I think I'm more fabulous than anyone else. I think everyone should think they are fabulous.

Wait till you fall in love with yourself again. You can do it. I think when we start living our own unique genuine life, you can't help but love yourself. And people around you could care less if you drink. You radiate and glow. That's hard to argue with. Having a drink in your hand seems so unneeded and unnecessary to you and everyone around you then.

My unique and genuine life does not include alcohol. I tried it. It failed the test.

You can do it Mambamama!!

anchorhold

I've had the same reaction from the 3 girlfriends I've confided in thus far -- all telling me they didn't think I had a problem. Of course, they didn't see what was happening at home on a daily basis so how could they know. I was pretty adept at leaving a party once I knew I'd had too much, often leaving before midnight. All have been very supportive though and respect my decision.

I'm wrestling with the fact that all my friends drink, sometimes a lot, but it's a constant in all of our social circles. I think I'm going to have to find some non-drinkers to hang with but hesitate to join our little towns AA program -- it's hard living in a small town and seeing people you know at these things...or am I just being silly??
>AH

soberbythesea

I also had this same reaction from people. My husband eventually came around and agreed with me that I did have a problem, but no one else in my life would ever believe I am a recovering alcoholic. I just hid it really well. But that does not mean it was not a problem, and if I had continued along the same path the problem would have gotten worse. As others have said, you know yourself best.

ETA: I'm almost 2 years in and my husband and mom are still the only people who are really aware of WHY I quit drinking. Everyone in my life is aware that I have quit at this point, but I have not attempted to explain my reasoning to very many people at all. My mom still insists I'm not an alcoholic. She has no idea about 95% of the **** I ever did while I was drinking.

HealthyK

Same here. I tried to tell people in the last that I was thinking of stopping because I might have a problem (before I truly admitted it) and I got a bunch of people who told me I didn't have a problem. I even got "hell, I drink more than you do, you're fine, stop worrying about it"

People don't want to think what they are doing is not normal and I think someone around them who has similar behavior and admits to a problem makes them have to look at their own behavior whether they like it or not. It is super brave to go against the crowd and do what is healthy for you. Congrats!!!!

silentrun

That happened to me too. I think it's the term alcoholic that elicits that response. I took great pride in keeping it "under control" so no one would be able to call me out on it. No surprise that people didn't realize how bad it was. I got a better response when I said things like it got out of handor it just got weird.
I haven't lost any friends over it. I don't see my drinking buddy as often as I did but I was getting to the point where I didn't want anyone around me when I was drinking anyway.