Thanks husband!
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
You may not get a lot of support from your significant other for a while. Remember that normal people really don't have a clue what alcoholism is.
They don't understand what is going through our heads, they can't guess that going to a brewery is like nails on a blackboard or worse, in early recovery.
They just don't know. You can save yourself a lot of resentment and grief if you spell it out clearly and don't expect they will guess what you need. Just say you can't go to certain places at this early stage. If he won't accept it, well, that's another conversation....
They don't understand what is going through our heads, they can't guess that going to a brewery is like nails on a blackboard or worse, in early recovery.
They just don't know. You can save yourself a lot of resentment and grief if you spell it out clearly and don't expect they will guess what you need. Just say you can't go to certain places at this early stage. If he won't accept it, well, that's another conversation....
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: MD
Posts: 658
The lack of support can go the other way too- when my RAW had the crisis I responded as a classical codie, all judgy and self-rightous, getting into her business w/ our family, threats etc but I thought I was being authoritative (if not actually helpful) and active (because CLEARLY she was not making good decisions etc)
It took a couple months of determined alanon work to get through that and start acting more reasonably, I am making amends personally as circumstances permit.
Though I do think taking you to a brewery early on is tacky IMHO. Worse if he drank in front of you OTOH I guess everybody's situation is different. After a few months it starting becoming clear RAW's triggers are elsewhere so being in a bar isn't a problem for her, its stress related to family and medical issues for her.
It took a couple months of determined alanon work to get through that and start acting more reasonably, I am making amends personally as circumstances permit.
Though I do think taking you to a brewery early on is tacky IMHO. Worse if he drank in front of you OTOH I guess everybody's situation is different. After a few months it starting becoming clear RAW's triggers are elsewhere so being in a bar isn't a problem for her, its stress related to family and medical issues for her.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: California
Posts: 46
I know he just doesn't really get it yet. And he doesn't truly know how much I drank. He will be more supportive when he understands the big picture. And knows I'm serious. It's only been two days.
. You can do it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,001
Keep it up. My wife doesnt know how bad i was either. It just told her it was very bad. Left out the mouthwash part. Just remember he will never truly understand our plight. My wife still doesnt understand fully. Anyway congradulations. Go forward.
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