I am READY Like CRAZY
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Texas
Posts: 21
I am READY Like CRAZY
Hello all of you wonderful people! I have been watching this forum for a few weeks, waiting patiently for the time I could respectfully join in. I am so thrilled at the prospect of having you all to chat with every day. You do not know me yet, but I feel like I know all of you. It is time to tell my story.... 100% truth....the first time ever....I will speak out loud as I clumsily type my MO.
My name is Cinnamon and I am a alcoholic. I am the wife of a wonderful man and husband, the mother of the sweetest little girl in the world and the daughter of two terribly loving but rather confused parents. I function on the daily basis quite nicely at this point, but the the train is falling off the track fast! My 6 month old daughter woke up three nights ago and I did not hear her... no doubt, courtsey of the six-pack the prior evening. I am so afraid of what lies in the days ahead. I have always prided myself on the relationship i have with my cutie and my parenting skills...... I have been fooling myself, and I am very charming as it turns out (hee hee).
I refuse to allow alcohol to dictate my family's future. I am here because I need support and friendship. My only desire in life is to conquer parenting and be a good partner for my cutie. It goes without saying that these things can only be accomplished by being sober and dealing with my issues.
I am requesting your advise, friendship and support. I am not in AA currently, but in intensive one-on-one therepy. I can do this! Isn't the 50th time LUCKY??? I have worked like a dog to have my own healthy family and now it is at risk due to my destructive behavior... I feel so determined to make this happen.
Take care to you all, Cinn.
My name is Cinnamon and I am a alcoholic. I am the wife of a wonderful man and husband, the mother of the sweetest little girl in the world and the daughter of two terribly loving but rather confused parents. I function on the daily basis quite nicely at this point, but the the train is falling off the track fast! My 6 month old daughter woke up three nights ago and I did not hear her... no doubt, courtsey of the six-pack the prior evening. I am so afraid of what lies in the days ahead. I have always prided myself on the relationship i have with my cutie and my parenting skills...... I have been fooling myself, and I am very charming as it turns out (hee hee).
I refuse to allow alcohol to dictate my family's future. I am here because I need support and friendship. My only desire in life is to conquer parenting and be a good partner for my cutie. It goes without saying that these things can only be accomplished by being sober and dealing with my issues.
I am requesting your advise, friendship and support. I am not in AA currently, but in intensive one-on-one therepy. I can do this! Isn't the 50th time LUCKY??? I have worked like a dog to have my own healthy family and now it is at risk due to my destructive behavior... I feel so determined to make this happen.
Take care to you all, Cinn.
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 5,093
Welcome Cinn,
I'm gald you decided to join us. I too was a fly on the wall, for a short while, before I knew I wanted to be a part of the gang and "jump" in and post. It's a great place to be and the people are great. I'm looking forward to getting to know you and am thrilled your realized the train was slipping off the track. I let my train crash before I got help.
Not a good idea. Once again, glad to meet you.
Talia
I'm gald you decided to join us. I too was a fly on the wall, for a short while, before I knew I wanted to be a part of the gang and "jump" in and post. It's a great place to be and the people are great. I'm looking forward to getting to know you and am thrilled your realized the train was slipping off the track. I let my train crash before I got help.
Not a good idea. Once again, glad to meet you.Talia
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: UK
Posts: 375
Hi Cinn, and wilkommen, bienvenu, welcome - I'm Deg - an alcoholic from england somewhere. Glad you've joined us and that you're ready to do this.
Sober is a wonderful place to be. People often ask me 'Don't you miss it?' and it's so nice to be able to say - 'No. Not even the littlest bit' and know that I mean it. It's true.
You're so lucky to have such a good family setup - I do too but I didn't notice until it was too late and I'd just about wrecked everything. By acting now you'll be making a bigger difference than you can know.
I have never been to the AA so I can't say much about it. I'm a bit of a loner anyway so I had to plot myself my own course. By luck or judgement I've started to come out the other side and it's changed my life forever. For the better of course.
I'll check back later to see how you're getting on - just got to work and I'd better get started before everyone starts arriving.
Deg.
Sober is a wonderful place to be. People often ask me 'Don't you miss it?' and it's so nice to be able to say - 'No. Not even the littlest bit' and know that I mean it. It's true.
You're so lucky to have such a good family setup - I do too but I didn't notice until it was too late and I'd just about wrecked everything. By acting now you'll be making a bigger difference than you can know.
I have never been to the AA so I can't say much about it. I'm a bit of a loner anyway so I had to plot myself my own course. By luck or judgement I've started to come out the other side and it's changed my life forever. For the better of course.
I'll check back later to see how you're getting on - just got to work and I'd better get started before everyone starts arriving.
Deg.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Texas
Posts: 21
Thank you Talia and Deg for your kind words.
I made through the night ok. My mind is very clear, but I am a bit shaky this morning. I just loaded up on a ton of vitamins that are suppose to help with the cravings and put me on my way back to a heathly body.
I have 'quit' so many times on my own.... never telling a soul. If anyone knew the truth about my drinking, they would then be privy that I am not perfect. What a SHOCKER, I am not perfect. I just want to shout it from the roof tops for the world to hear. I started a bit more realistically by telling my husband the details of my secret. He listened and thought about it for a minute or two. Without a word he got up, went to the bar, poured all the liquor down the sink, hugged me and said 'I had no idea'. His actions melted my heart. I would have never had the strength to tell him without this board and I thank you for the courage.
Have a great day, Cinn.
I made through the night ok. My mind is very clear, but I am a bit shaky this morning. I just loaded up on a ton of vitamins that are suppose to help with the cravings and put me on my way back to a heathly body.
I have 'quit' so many times on my own.... never telling a soul. If anyone knew the truth about my drinking, they would then be privy that I am not perfect. What a SHOCKER, I am not perfect. I just want to shout it from the roof tops for the world to hear. I started a bit more realistically by telling my husband the details of my secret. He listened and thought about it for a minute or two. Without a word he got up, went to the bar, poured all the liquor down the sink, hugged me and said 'I had no idea'. His actions melted my heart. I would have never had the strength to tell him without this board and I thank you for the courage.
Have a great day, Cinn.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Welcome Cinnamon!
I'm so glad your here and most important ready. I hear your determination and courage in your post, and sweety that's what it takes. You bet you can do this and it's good you have a means of support in your therapy sessions. We all do what works, and should you decide you would like to try AA, you sound as though you'd fit right in. It's a wonderful fellowship, just don't let the old timers scare ya away, their experiance is what you can learn from. So good luck to you, glad you de-lurked and are part of our community.
We have online meetings here if you'd like to sit in and get a feel for them. You can join in by first registering for the chat room (easy as pie) and view the schedule for meetings in the Chat Forum.
I'm so glad your here and most important ready. I hear your determination and courage in your post, and sweety that's what it takes. You bet you can do this and it's good you have a means of support in your therapy sessions. We all do what works, and should you decide you would like to try AA, you sound as though you'd fit right in. It's a wonderful fellowship, just don't let the old timers scare ya away, their experiance is what you can learn from. So good luck to you, glad you de-lurked and are part of our community.
We have online meetings here if you'd like to sit in and get a feel for them. You can join in by first registering for the chat room (easy as pie) and view the schedule for meetings in the Chat Forum.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: east coast
Posts: 2,440
Welcome to SR, Cinn.
there are a great group of people here who support each other through everything. I'm glad you've decided to join us. It sounds like you have a true desire to quit. I find alot of support here, but I also go to AA/NA meetings. It's nice to know people understand what I'm going through and are willing to lend a helping hand. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.
sherry
there are a great group of people here who support each other through everything. I'm glad you've decided to join us. It sounds like you have a true desire to quit. I find alot of support here, but I also go to AA/NA meetings. It's nice to know people understand what I'm going through and are willing to lend a helping hand. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.
sherry
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 38
Cinnamon...I'm very confused. *I* am the mother of the cutest, sweetest little girl in the world. Could it be possible that we have the SAME child, lol?
Isn't it funny how we have these wonderful kids that are the biggest gifts in the world, yet we still choose to get wasted every night
? But after my kid started asking for a beer and cigarette, too (she is 2 1/2), I knew I had to do something about what I am....I was telling myself that she didn't really KNOW what I was doing, but clearly, she DID.
Anyway, welcome
. I am so glad your husband is supportive and understanding....what a great guy!
Isn't it funny how we have these wonderful kids that are the biggest gifts in the world, yet we still choose to get wasted every night
? But after my kid started asking for a beer and cigarette, too (she is 2 1/2), I knew I had to do something about what I am....I was telling myself that she didn't really KNOW what I was doing, but clearly, she DID.Anyway, welcome
. I am so glad your husband is supportive and understanding....what a great guy!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: SAN FRANCISCO CA,
Posts: 18
Welcome Cinnamon!!
Hi Cinn.
My Name is Daniel
I am hopless drunk from San francisco Who found
Hope strenth and a new life in the rooms of A.A. I too am fairley new to S.R.
but the support and feedback here is like no other
I look forward to reading posts from you stay strong and keep posting
Dan
My Name is Daniel
I am hopless drunk from San francisco Who found
Hope strenth and a new life in the rooms of A.A. I too am fairley new to S.R.
but the support and feedback here is like no other
I look forward to reading posts from you stay strong and keep posting
Dan
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Texas
Posts: 21
I am taking a wild stab here..... I came to the right place. You all are unbelievable! I feel very comfortable and strong right now.
I am definitely am interested in the on-line meetings, thanks for the suggestion.
I am definitely am interested in the on-line meetings, thanks for the suggestion.
We all need each other.
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The road of happy destiny.
Posts: 2,294
Welcome to you, Cinnamon. I am glad you made it. Getting sober is not an easy thing to do, but it is simple. I have found that AA is a God-send (quite literally). I hope you will at least give a try. There are people who can get sober without the help of a 12-step program, but they are few and far between. I have yet to get to attend any of the on-line meetings here. I hope to be able to soon. Hang in there, and keep posting!!!
I love the dancing banana!!!
I love the dancing banana!!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Southern California
Posts: 129
welcome cimmamon, just wanted to let you know that you are at a great place. I just when to my first na meeting tonight after reading about the subject at SR. I want recovery so very badly that I will do as suggested. Next step to keep going to face to face meetings..call frm the phone list.. and get a sponsor and then the steps as that seems to be what works most successfully for others..I have not done that in the past and have relasped w/o a network of other recovering addicts/alc. I did feel welcome at the womens meetings as some of the ladies introducted themselfs after the meeting..and suggested I find a sponsor asp..welcome aboard..and keep posting. btw I am on my 15th day thanks the SR. randa
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Texas
Posts: 21
Randa sounds like you are doing everything within your power to get your life together. Thanks for the words of encouragment.
I am looking into meetings in my area Fri morning. Today I enrolled my daughter 'mom's day out' at a local church, so I can free up some time to get to meetings.
I am moving into day 3 without a drink....can not sleep to save my life!! When does sleeping come back?? It is 3:am fri morning here and I am wide eyed and bushy tailed. It is kind of working out though b/c I am taking advantage of this 'alert' time to teach baby to sleep through the night without a bottle. Funny auh? Niether one us can sleep because we need our bottles.
I do not know if the vitamins are helping or if I found my strength, but I have not felt the cravings like I usually do. I think of drinking just not the overwhelming urge to give in. I took some of the tips to heart..... taking different routes, making sure I do not 'forget' anything at the grocery, and spilling the beans to dh.
Staying strong and determined to cherish every moment with my sweet family.
Take Care. Cinn.
I am looking into meetings in my area Fri morning. Today I enrolled my daughter 'mom's day out' at a local church, so I can free up some time to get to meetings.
I am moving into day 3 without a drink....can not sleep to save my life!! When does sleeping come back?? It is 3:am fri morning here and I am wide eyed and bushy tailed. It is kind of working out though b/c I am taking advantage of this 'alert' time to teach baby to sleep through the night without a bottle. Funny auh? Niether one us can sleep because we need our bottles.
I do not know if the vitamins are helping or if I found my strength, but I have not felt the cravings like I usually do. I think of drinking just not the overwhelming urge to give in. I took some of the tips to heart..... taking different routes, making sure I do not 'forget' anything at the grocery, and spilling the beans to dh.
Staying strong and determined to cherish every moment with my sweet family.
Take Care. Cinn.
Still hangin` on...
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: MA
Posts: 337
WELCOME CINN!!!!!!!!!
Reading your thread this morning really touched me. I can see that you are a loving and caring person. That goes without saying. I can FEEL how much you love your daughter. And it sounds like you have a wonderful and supportive husband! You have ALOT to be grateful for. You have already took the first step NEEDED to get sober. Going to AA meetings will DEFINATLY be of great support for you! Meeting other women going through what you are is comforting. And being able to go to a safe enviorment to share your feelings is really going to make a difference. I know for me that if I didnt have a program to participate and work that I would still be using.
I go to a womens AA meeting everyweek and I cant even tell you how much that one meeting helps me in my day to day life!!!!! I also go to NA the rest of the week and without that fellowship I would be lost. So that, I suggest should be your first move. I was going to say good luck but luck has nothing to do with it. God Bless and remenber you are not alone. Keep posting here. You have already met some very supportive and amazing women here. (men too!--sorry guys)(haha) Also remember-One day at a time.
Love,
Ann
Reading your thread this morning really touched me. I can see that you are a loving and caring person. That goes without saying. I can FEEL how much you love your daughter. And it sounds like you have a wonderful and supportive husband! You have ALOT to be grateful for. You have already took the first step NEEDED to get sober. Going to AA meetings will DEFINATLY be of great support for you! Meeting other women going through what you are is comforting. And being able to go to a safe enviorment to share your feelings is really going to make a difference. I know for me that if I didnt have a program to participate and work that I would still be using.
I go to a womens AA meeting everyweek and I cant even tell you how much that one meeting helps me in my day to day life!!!!! I also go to NA the rest of the week and without that fellowship I would be lost. So that, I suggest should be your first move. I was going to say good luck but luck has nothing to do with it. God Bless and remenber you are not alone. Keep posting here. You have already met some very supportive and amazing women here. (men too!--sorry guys)(haha) Also remember-One day at a time.
Love,
Ann
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 3
Hi Cinn - I am new here too. I am the mother of two and also remember (or don't) many nights I never heard them wake up courtesy of the bottle of wine I drank that night. I have made a decision to make a lifestyle change and I know I can do it, I am determined. Let's support each other, OK? I am just beginning, and my drinking was no secret because everyone around me drinks, but I am determined to rise above it. Keep in touch and let me know how you are doing and we can do it together ~ I am doing it by myself, too. Best Wishes ~ Kim
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Hi Cinnamon
I'm Rowan, and I'm an alcoholic. I'm so glad you're here.
This board is a wonderful complement to my AA way of life, and I have nothing but great things to say about the men and women here.
I hope you continue to post here as you grow in sobriety; we would love to hear how you are doing. God bless and Keep Coming Back!
Love, Rowan
:heart:
I'm Rowan, and I'm an alcoholic. I'm so glad you're here.
This board is a wonderful complement to my AA way of life, and I have nothing but great things to say about the men and women here.
I hope you continue to post here as you grow in sobriety; we would love to hear how you are doing. God bless and Keep Coming Back!
Love, Rowan
:heart:
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Texas
Posts: 21
Hi everyone 
I only have a minute, but I thought I would touch base. Again, thank you so much for all of the support. I should have more time to address some of the notes you have sent on Monday.
The last few days have been absolute bliss. Dh took Friday off to spend with sweetie and me. We had so much fun. It is amazing how much more fun daily life is when you are not preoccupied with when you can start drinking. It has been so nice to go to bed with my husband everynight. I would always stay up late so I could drink. Nice auh? Good to know those days are over.
I know I have a ton of really difficult days ahead of me, for the moment I am going to enjoy myself. I have not been sober for 4 days straight since I was prego. I am looking at it like I did when carrying sweetie. It was not an option to drink while pregnant and now... ummm it is not an option because I clearly do not get along with alcohol. I worried that I might have an identity crisis or wouldn't be any fun to be around. Then it hit me! I've done this before and was the same person....actually a better person to be around.
On a lighter note.... housework is not near as much fun as when you are loaded :o) Now I know why it is called houseWORK. I did get it finished in about a third of the time though.
Take care and look forward to chatting on Monday, Cinn.
I only have a minute, but I thought I would touch base. Again, thank you so much for all of the support. I should have more time to address some of the notes you have sent on Monday.
The last few days have been absolute bliss. Dh took Friday off to spend with sweetie and me. We had so much fun. It is amazing how much more fun daily life is when you are not preoccupied with when you can start drinking. It has been so nice to go to bed with my husband everynight. I would always stay up late so I could drink. Nice auh? Good to know those days are over.
I know I have a ton of really difficult days ahead of me, for the moment I am going to enjoy myself. I have not been sober for 4 days straight since I was prego. I am looking at it like I did when carrying sweetie. It was not an option to drink while pregnant and now... ummm it is not an option because I clearly do not get along with alcohol. I worried that I might have an identity crisis or wouldn't be any fun to be around. Then it hit me! I've done this before and was the same person....actually a better person to be around.
On a lighter note.... housework is not near as much fun as when you are loaded :o) Now I know why it is called houseWORK. I did get it finished in about a third of the time though.
Take care and look forward to chatting on Monday, Cinn.
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