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New here/coping with a D/D accident

Old 07-15-2014, 05:04 PM
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Angry New here/coping with a D/D accident

Been a binge drinker for about 12 years, 29 now, started young. Have a beautiful family, i seem to get caught up every 3 days or so into binge drinking. I think last friday, the 11th, could change my life. A good friend of mine left the bar, and crashed. Im a emotional roller coaster now. I'am kicking my self for inviting him out that night, thinking he was fine to leave. He is in the hospital with mutiple skull fractures, broken ribs, a severed ear. kicking my self right now. Has anyone had a tragedy or event scare them into sobriety? I feel like this is a wakeup call..
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Old 07-15-2014, 05:06 PM
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I'm sorry for your friend's accident. I hope he recovers quickly and seeks help for his addiction.

It's great if you use this accident as a reason to stop drinking.
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Old 07-15-2014, 05:08 PM
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Sorry to hear about your friend. My thought and prayers.
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Old 07-15-2014, 05:15 PM
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So sorry , I hope he heals fast. What got me started here was a major panic attack. I always knew deep down binge drinking like that was a no no but I continued. So many other things could have happened to me and thank goodness they didn't. Just ask yourself if it is worth it, what can happen and what you could end up losing if you continue.

HUGS!
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Old 07-15-2014, 05:18 PM
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I lost my cousin in a drunk driving accident. One of the many reasons I quit drinking, couldn't manage to find a dd before I went out. It's so extremely hard to not want to blame yourself, but in all reality the only person responsible for driving drunk is the person doing it. My brother also lost two extremely close friends in drunk driving accidents. It's a terrible thing, but we can use it as a learning experience. I will pray for your friend and keep you in my thoughts.
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Old 07-15-2014, 05:27 PM
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I'm really sorry for your friend SarArtist. I really hope you can use this as a wake up call and a turning point tho.

Welcome aboard

D
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Old 07-15-2014, 05:36 PM
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Thank you everyone for your support, it is very warming and i need it! thank you
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Old 07-15-2014, 05:37 PM
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I actually remember being on this site 5 years ago, and i lost focus, i'm glad to be back
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Old 07-15-2014, 05:40 PM
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I hope you can start a better sober life after such a tragic accident.
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Old 07-15-2014, 06:40 PM
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Nice to see you hear and sorry about your friend. There but for the grace of God went I.

Not sure that having a friend having a DD accident can scare you straight. Reason why is the following:

Do you truly believe that you have a drinking problem?

Despite what happens to your friends and others (and I've been through this myself), deep down, unless we can admit we have a problem (and truly believe it), we may be scared straight for a while, and then we wander back into our "immortal" ways.

Until I admitted that I truly had a problem and actually believed it, then I deep down still thought that I was controlling my drinking. Only when I accepted that I didn't control my drinking am I now able to stay sober.

Again, glad to have you here, and hope we'll see you posting all the milestones you hit.
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Old 07-15-2014, 06:48 PM
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I hope he makes a full recovery and well done on realising that it's time to stop drinking
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Old 07-15-2014, 06:50 PM
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Welcome SarArtist. I hope you'll stay with us and keep posting.

I got 2 dui's as my wake up call. My behavior was off the hook. I had to give it up all together because I couldn't trust myself once it was in my system. You'll find the help and support you need here. Glad you joined.
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Old 07-15-2014, 11:09 PM
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SparkyMsparky, so true! Not sure if it will either, i have a lot to think about. i just hope i can make better decisions down the road, and put family first.
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Old 07-15-2014, 11:50 PM
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It's not a feeling, take this as your wake up call, please...I was in such denial, I got so amazingly lucky because when I read these stories, all I think is that could have been me.

Us moms do a ton of driving, and usually with kids, and as I couldn't go the day without drinking, I was many times driving under the influence.

Multiple skull fractures? Does he have a traumatic brain injury? head injury? Is he in a coma? That will be a long recovery. So sorry.

If nothing else quit for the cute baby in your photo who needs his or her mom!

Best of luck...
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Old 07-16-2014, 05:42 AM
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Welcome to the Forum!! Very sorry to hear about your friend!!
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Old 07-16-2014, 05:51 AM
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Welcome Sarartist!

Yes, I've lost a cousin to a drunk driving accident and though my issue wasn't DUI it took a legal matter to get me to go to AA. They told me in AA that things only got worse if I continued to drink and I can look back and see just how true that statement really is! I tried for years on my on to stop binge drinking, but never could get more then a few weeks.

They also told me that most people have to hit rock bottom, which varies for everyone, and it definitely took me hitting mine before I was ready to accept and admit that I am powerless over alcohol. Then they told me the good news: I didn't EVER have to feel that way again, and they were right!

Praying for you and your friend!
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Old 07-16-2014, 06:07 AM
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Oh, SarArtist, I am so sorry about what has happened to your friend; I hope that he has a full recovery.

Glad that you have re-discovered SR; there is a wealth of information in the "stickies" and elsewhere on this site about alcoholism and addiction; the people on this site are amazing - they are supportive, encouraging and understanding - they will bare their souls and listen with compassion.

Your avatar shows an absolutely adorable little baby and a very beautiful young woman. You are so right, you have a beautiful family, SarArtist. Only you can decide if you have a drinking problem (but binge drinking every few nights is definitely a sign there may be one).

I can promise you that sobriety will never let you down or bring regret into your life.

Enjoy that wonderful little baby; hope to see you "around the threads".
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Old 07-16-2014, 06:34 AM
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I'm so sorry to hear about your friend that is some scary stuff.
Like Hevyn, I have 2 DUI's - I'm actually doing jailtime for the 2nd I just got back in May. When I read/see/hear stuff like this, it makes me grateful that is ALL I am facing (well, a long with a financial mess)...and that my DD didn't hurt anyone else, myself included.
It's unfortunate that it takes such a sad and drastic measure for us to finally open our eyes to the self destructive behaviour when we drink.
Gld you're back and really thinking about all this. And I do hope your friend recovers AOK.
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Old 07-16-2014, 06:45 AM
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Originally Posted by SarArtist13 View Post
SparkyMsparky, so true! Not sure if it will either, i have a lot to think about. i just hope i can make better decisions down the road, and put family first.
Hey, worst thing you can do is stop drinking for one week, that's it.

If you find yourself unable to do so, then you have an answer.

If you do it, and it poses no problem, try another week. See how that goes. See how you feel about yourself, and see how others feel about you. If you see a substantive change, then maybe others are able to see something you're not able to see.

Like it says in the MM forum, not a lot of people on SR are here because we are able to moderate. If we were able to, we wouldn't be here in the first place.

Whether we want to admit the truth to ourselves or not, I already believe that anyone who comes here thinks they may have a problem. It is truly admitting they have a problem (and this does deliver a blow to the pride, I know) that allows one to start the all important day 1.

Great to see you engaging with others though. Great first step.
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Old 07-16-2014, 03:35 PM
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soberjuly, yes i agree. He does ave multiple skull fractures, they are going to try and get him to walk tomorrow, he is more alert. But i do fear he major brain damage. So scary
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