SnoozyQ

Hiya guys , been spending a lazy day reading SR . I love scrawling through the old posts and classes from years ago .

Was going through a lovely thread of friends from a 2006 class .

It was like peeking at someone's journal .

They all helped each other and became good friends and eventually moved on . The last post was in 2010 . Then one of them popped back in 2013 to say hi ..and it finished there .

I often wonder what becomes of people , maybe they move to Facebook as a few of those did or text each other , they were on ICQ .. It made me chuckle when they IMED each other then moved up to texting ;-)

I hope if my July thread goes that way one day , that we will all promise to check in even once a year to say hi .

I will always feel close to my July class and not want to wonder what became of them

I really must start spending less time here and getting motivated . I'm so lazy on the days i don't work and i don't want to be .

I've always done stuff , even when i was drinking , i managed doing more than i do now !

I've worked volunteer for dog rescue and done fostering for so long .

Since becoming sober i honestly have NO motivation to do anything . I'm not depressed , I'm happy enough . I spose my girls have all grown up and don't need me as much any more.

On my days off , i don't go anywhere . My husband sleeps as he works night shift

I don't see girlfriends anymore cos if we go out , they drink . I avoid all family functions cos they are all big drinkers .

I manage to get to work on my Fri , Sat and Sunday but the next 4 days are usually spent in bed !!! Why ?

I don't go to work functions cos i know where that will end up .
being a year sober is great , but i need my life back .

I've sort of realised today , I'm making myself a prisoner in life and not really participating in it . I love helping people here in SR , but i actually think i need some help myself now .

Any ideas on how to get motivated would really help thanks .xx

MidnightBlue

Hi, Snoozy)

I am almost late for my boxing class at the moment, but I will be back later and gather some thoughts about it!

Croissant

Snoozy, I promise I won't "disappear"....I couldn't imagine how I'd gotten this far without the July class.

Suggestions take or leave;

- given your girls don't need you so much anymore (or for now, anyway!) maybe 1 morning on your day off you could help with a reading group at a local primary school? (Sometimes that is also a gateway into part time teachers aide?)

You are such a fun person, and love your words, I'm sure sitting for half an hour or so with little ones to help them read is something you may enjoy?

- volunteering again, maybe at your local children's hospital? There's a range of roles needed and that's what I'm now doing also.

I guess the main thing is motivation, and at times I think I should be DOING a million things...BUT I remember, often they say people who are too busy are trying to get away from themselves, so there is a balance there.

I also remember that I wasn't go go go all the time before I drank. I am an introvert by nature, and get my energy from alone time, so long walks, reading, is how I recharge - and that's ok.

SnoozyQ

Thanks Crois :-) i think i waffled on a bit there .

As always i appreciate your advice , i think the long walks is a good idea xx

sillysuzanfree

I'm not a go go go go person either but since getting sober I have found a few meetings (both in AA and at my church) I like and started volunteering. And I walk every day. You don't have to be religious or necessarily involved in AA to benefit from some of these meetings and there are other sober women at all of them. Maybe find a couple of women's meetings near you and try them out!

PurpleKnight

Sometimes I think we can be too hard on ourselves, Rome wasn't built in a day and all that!!

I look back and remember when I couldn't string 2 days Sober together, never mind have a fun activity packed life aswell as being Sober, having a year Sober is and will always be a fantastic achievement, no point in being active every second and every minute of every day and then still drinking, better to be chilling on the sofa Sober I say!!

Small steps, as mentioned go for walks, go for coffee, start a few new books, nothing major but it's something new, I found when I got Sober just talking to people creates some great conversations, whether it's the person working at a shop, someone out and about for a walk, or someone I'd pass at work all the time but never really said much to.

Then again, happiness isn't all about activities, I had a day off work yesterday, as it was a public holiday here, and I sat outside in the sunshine watching the world go by, the birds were singing, I was hangover free, I was sipping some green tea and I just had some me time to relax!!

I guess we all need to at some stage reach that crossroads of what did we get Sober for? what life do we now want, because we now hold the keys to any life we now choose by getting Sober!!

Eddiebuckle

Snoozy - as you know, the greatest gift we can give is ourselves and our time. Are there any causes you can volunteer for locally? If all we accomplish when we get sober is to quit drinking, I think we sell ourselves and our sobriety short. Service is not servitude, it's gratitude.

neferkamichael

SnoozyQ, FANTASTIC, thank you. My new life is a constant 1 step forward and its back to go. My brain just doesn't know how to act, but its changing, all is good, rootin for ya.

SoberLeigh

Hi SnoozyQ.

Great thread and great responses.

I understand where you are. I retired in order to spend two years caring for a dying parent; I became sober at the beginning of those two years. Mom is gone, now. I spend considerable time on SR, also, doing the sobriety "work" I was unable to do while caregiving (white-knuckling is not the way to go but it was a way and my only option at the time).

I need to re-invent myself. Too bad we are oceans apart; I would love a "re-invention" buddy.

CAPTAINZING2000

There will be a time where it won't be so troubling to go to functions where alcohol is served.

Sigh, I've been working a lot of late not doing much else except lounging in the pool.

What hobbies do you have or thought about trying?

alphaomega

I have found that a simple walk in the morning and some healthy nutrition sets up my day for continued success. Sometimes it may just be a walk around the block, but it gets the blood flowing and sets the motivation ball in motion.

A puppy might be good for that ?

SnoozyQ

Thank you so much everyone I've taken all your suggestions on board and I'm feeling in a better place this morning .

I'll get up and have my brekky then walk the hounds

You lovely people are a godsend . It's a blessing just to feel heard and that other people get where I'm coming from.

I love you guys xx

Rence

I am currently unemployed so I have been going to an AA meeting Monday through Friday at noon. That gets me out of the house and puts me where I need to be. I also go to other meetings at night at least 2 nights a week and others on the weekend. Because I've relapsed so many times, I'm trying to make my suggested 90 meetings in 90 days. In the past I was always against it thinking it was too much, but I finally surrendered and I'm doing it and I enjoy it. It keeps me comfortable in my sobriety in stead of getting bored and thinking about drinking.

Clementina

Hi SnoozyQ!

I'm just gonna keep it short but sweet.... I heard a saying once that "motivation follows action." I find it to be so true! If I'm having trouble getting motivated to go running I tell myself I'm just going to do one mile... And then I end up getting really into it and running like 6. But if I try to think myself into motivation it doesn't work as well. Sometimes it really just takes a couple of small steps to get that momentum going!

SnoozyQ

That is sooo true ;-) thank you xx

Nuudawn

Hey Snoozy. Gosh I can't believe, I'm actually gonna say this but ah well...I will. I feel pretty bashful about it since your sober time is inspiring to me. I relapsed at 4 months cuz I was getting lonely..and isolating a lot. SR was my "closest companion"...as alcohol had been. I was doing a lot of internal work..recovery work...reading and journalling and seeing a counsellor.. lots of good stuff but my life wasn't getting any bigger socially. I was no longer spending time with my "drinker" friends and my healthier friends were busy with kids and activties, hobbies and well..there more fully developed lives.

I wasn't getting "enough" from SR anymore. I could've taken a class..I didn't. I was just kind of falling into a rut of struggling to amuse myself. I ended up back drinking and back in a bad relationship cuz I was lonely...and bored.

This time I realized I had to enlarge my life more. I didn't want to go back to the AA route but eventually I decided it was in my best interest. I decided I would go back and "audit" the program...which is kind of where I'm at now. There are a few reasons but a big one is I needed to meet some freaking people living sober lives...some folks to DO stuff with.

I have been to 4 meetings in past week or so. I went to the first one a couple weeks ago ..both to support my visiting (AA member) sister..and secondly, just to "check it out". I spent the next two weeks weighing whether I want to go.

Each meeting has been completely different..different vibe to each (one was just kinda weird actually). The one I went to last night was actually extremely powerful. Now here was a close knit group...and a big one. They actually closed the meeting with the "Lord's Prayer"..which I hadn't ever seen before...but they were a very interesting assembly of folks.

This morning I had a "one-off" meeting with my old counsellor. When I ended my counselling with her last January ..she had no idea of my relapse. She was cool with my decision of not going to AA in my last sobriety...despite the fact she herself went through the program years ago. She said she was active for about 5 years but is not now. It's been years. Anyways we had a great talk. One of her suggestions really excited me. She said "don't be afraid to leave your immediate arena (e.g. local area)..she said go forth and travel around. This idea appealed to me as I live very close to other neighboring cities and only an hour from Vancouver (where I love to visit). I digress...

At the meeting last night, I couldn't help thinking that this was a bit of a "social club" for people not quite motivated enough to join a hiking club or running club or start painting and travelling in "artist circles".

Oh gosh..I don't want to suddenly come across as some sort of evangelist convert but...I love that it's getting me out and about and meeting new people. Last night was really wonderful to watch as it was a 6 year birthday and the lady was actually moving to a new city..so it was a AA birthday/slash goodbye party. It got very emotional when her grandson (who she raised) spoke. He has been 11 months clean and sober. He had ended up on the street lost in alcohol and drug addiction. This same lady..grandma . .who has been sober 6 years...mentioned that her son has been sober 12 years...and now her grandson 11 months..

As a fly on the wall.. it was entertaining in a lovely, sobriety affirming way.

Okay..now I'm going to just get silly, but I also couldn't help remembering something I saw on that old show the "Golden Girls" years ago.

Remember Rose (Betty White) had that boyfriend Miles? Well, one episode she was quite upset and disclosed to the other "golden girls" that Miles was starting to act very strange..said that he was getting "really cheap"...that he was taking her for "day old donuts" etc etc. She gave all sorts of examples but the one that stuck out..cuz I thought it was hilarious at the time.. was that he had started taking her to AA meetings on dates, telling her it was the "Theatre of the Living".

Well, it turns out that Miles was having financial concerns cuz his doctor had told him he was in great shape and that he should expect to live another 20 years and this was a problem cuz he hadn't budgetted that much for retirement.

Anyways...I dunno Snoozy...it's just a thought. And as I say, I don't want to come across as pushy about something that I only recently realized MIGHT be helpful for me ..but aw well..what the heck hey?

I'm feeling old and lazy and it's just the easiest, most convenient "social club" for me to attend right now. At my age, well..curling is an option (my parents found a huge community in that sport) ..but they do, do a lot of drinking there...so no..not an option. One only need take what they need and leave the rest.

Hope I didn't offend.

Your sobriety is awesome.

Waterfalls2014

Hi SnoozyQ, do you like to cook? You can try taking a cooking class. It wouldn't be very long, an hour or two. It would get you out of the house, help you meet people. Just a thought.

EyesOfAStranger

Hi SnoozyQ - I have always wanted to go to Australia - badly. Since your girls have moved on, how about a new child to take in and care for? Surprise! It's a girl and she's 41

I have felt unmotivated for so long myself. I have one group of friends still going out to bars and clubs to party - so I don't fit there. My other group of friends all have families and little kids - so I don't fit there. It's hard. Just was hoping to make you smile and let you know, yes - there are those of us out here who can relate!

Hevyn

Good stuff was already said Snoozy - but want to say I'm glad you started this thread. You didn't waffle at all - I'm happy you reached out to your friends. That's why we're all here.

At a year sober I felt the same. I had been through he!! with my 24/7 drinking and then learning to live without it. It was enough for awhile to just get well and heal. The exhaustion did lift finally. I found energy and enthusiasm again. I can't say exactly when it happened, but it came back and never left.

You are loved and appreciated here by many. Just wanted to say that.

Hevyn

Can I come with you Eyes? Shall we fly out of Logan or JFK?