on Day 3
went to the dentist - came home to 3 kids lounging about, past 12 and in pajamas
I looked around and mentally thought of what I had to get done - then I just thought no - why don't they ever clean!!!
and I yelled at them to clean - to get off their butts - and I feel awful - I really yelled at them!
a trip to the dentist (or really anything) was always rewarded with a ton of booze...I would drink before I cleaned - I would drink while I was cleaning
I would also drink before going to the dentist - to calm nerves right? = another excuse
without the booze - wow - it's hard!
already my skin is looking better - my clothes are loosening up...I just can't quit now
but do the mood swings pass? cause I was hell on wheels -
now I have to deal with the aftermath of being a drunk for the last 4-plus years - all the stuff I didn't do, put off, I have bags of papers shoved in the closet
my 2 older kids are going to overnight camp on Wednesday - lucky them! I feel if I can stay sober, they will come home to new-and-impoved mom
but I was such a bitch today!!!
I had planned on attending my first AA meeting at 8pm last night but then my husband couldn't pick up my 2 older kids from their dad's place at 8pm so I had to do it
I will find another one once my kids are off to camp
anyhow - thanks for listening!!!