MrPhilDuck

Hi people, I'm a 24 year old and a young professional, just fiished college and I'm doing my first steps in the direction of building a carrer. I have a good job, I'm independent, I have a family that cares for me and a good social circle of people I consider my friends.

I'm grateful for I have in life, my problem is, I drink a lot, I have been drinking every weekend (and a lots of week days too) since I'm 15, and the problem doesnt seem to go away, on the contrary, it's getting worst with time, each time I'm drinking more, getting more drunk, doing ridiculous things and embarassing my family, lately I have been getting heavier drugs while drinking, like smoking a lot of cigs or doing coke.

Every sunday I feel like **** I say to myself I'm going to start over and change my life around, generally I do pretty good during the week, but then friday comes and I just get completely destroyed, I start doing all kinds of crazy stuff. I'm just 24 and next year I'm going to complete 10 years of heavy drinking, I haven't stop just ONE weekend since then.

I'm in a great moment of my life and I'm feel alcohol is taking everything away for me and doesn't help me enjoy the moment with the people I care. I feel desperate and I need help I have been wanting to quit drinking for over a year now but it feels like it's impossible. Where do I start?

MrBen

Hey Phil, I'm 23 and quit at 22. Don't let anyone tell you alcoholism is an old man's (or woman's) game. The dangers are very, very real, at any age. Well, the first step, is to go to your doctor. The withdrawals can be brutal and dangerous if you go cold turkey. Then follow his advice regarding cutting down to quitting. After that it's about readjusting your lifestyle, you'll likely need to change aspects of your social life, find hobbies to fill your time and find coping mechanisms to get through the cravings.

MrPhilDuck

Really? Tell me more about it please.

I have this friend that completely stopped drinking after 30 years of alcoholism, he told me the first three were pretty difficult but after that he just doesnt feel the need to drink.

If I want to start getting sober what are the difficulties I'm going to face in the first months.

Also, I have always been pretty physically active, doest excersise helps you throug those difficult first weeks?

MrBen

Exercise will help in general, I think. Gives you a release for all those cravings.

How bad your withdrawals are depends on how much you've drank and your genetic make up. The milder symptoms tend to be the stuff you'd usually associate with a regular hangover- sweating, nausea, anxiety. All that stuff.

More serious symptoms are hallucinations, heart palpitations and seizures. It's possible to die from withdrawal.

I'm not saying this to freak you out, it's just worth going to the doctor to rule out that possibility.

MrPhilDuck

Believe me, I have had hangovers where I think I'm going to die, you are not freaking me out, if I have to experience that kind of stuff in order to get sober that's what I'm going to do. I thank you for your support.

My first major step is going through next weekend without drinking.

MrBen

Just take it easy on yourself for these first 3-4 days. That's the hardest part. But you'll do it man. After a week being drunk already feels like a strange, bad dream.

MrPhilDuck

I know I can go for 3-4 days, my biggest problem is the weekend and the social construction around going out and drinking, I don't even blame my friends who drink, because even when I'm not with them I'm going to go out and drink alone.

This weekend was like hell, I drink straight from friday to saturday night until I passed out. I spend the whole sunday feeling like crap and thinking my life over: I dont need this anymore.

MrBen

Yeah, the social thing can be tough. Really you have to pick your health over hanging out with your friends. You may even lose some through this process. I think if you're into going to the gym that will really help you out. Nothing kicks my cravings like a tough work out.

zeldachan

I'm 34 with major liver issues. I am fighting for my life because I drank. Stop now. Go to AA. You don't want this!!!!

I find myself hanging out with the people in my life who do not drink. I would start with AA and with doing awesome things with people that are also sober

And don't take that first drink!!

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Phil!!

It's time to change up your weekends, nothing changes if nothing changes, to stick to being Sober I needed to make same changes to the activities and even the people I was hanging out with.

It might sound extreme but you've got your health and the rest of your life with a career ahead of you to think about, which is more important? . . . I chose the former.

Sobriety isn't simply about not drinking, it's much more, it's revolutionising your lifestyle away from facilitating alcohol and the life we used to live.

You'll find loads of support here on SR to help you do it!!

SparkyMcSparky

Yup, I've been drinking heavy since 18, and have only decided to quit 26 years later before it caught up with me.

My drinking pattern was similar to yours - no issues during the week, but weekends were a train wreck waiting to happen. And I'm a fortunate one, as I was a functional alcoholic who's drinking hadn't impacted his career. Though, I think it was getting close, as the weekday drinking had picked up in frequency and intensity.

This being said, drinking delayed my education by 8 years, cost me a crapload of cash, and has impacted my life and my family in a negative way. And there were many times I could have been arrested, charged with a DUI, or God forbid, killed some innocent due to my irresponsibility and self-centred behaviour.

So quitting now makes so much more sense than waiting like I did. Why? Because if you think your behaviour now is bad, trust me, it only gets worse.

My key thought I am holding on to is "Don't have the first drink". That simple. It's not "I'll never drink again", or "I can't drink", or "I won't drink 20 tonight". It is (repeat after me):

I won't have the first drink

If you don't have the first, you can't have the 20th.

And if the social construction is what triggers the drinking, then it sounds like you've routinized drinking (much as I had). Only way to break this is to break the routine.

MrPhilDuck

Thanks for the words of support. I'm going to get as clean as possible during the week and see how I deal with the weekend, I have a strong feeling that the moment I get past the weekend without drinking everything is going to be more easy after that. I just need to survive next weekend and start from there and forever.

SparkyMcSparky

I'm through my first weekend with five different situations where I would have normally drank.

If I can do it (with 20 years more practice drinking) that you can too. Main thing is you recognise you have a problem and want to quit.

MrPhilDuck

I have been in social situation where everybody is drinking and I can hold on until 1am or 2am, once everybody is drunk and I won't feel shame and guilt I start drinking, once the party is over everybody is drunk but me, but what people dont' know is that I'm going to keep drinking for days after that.

I understand alcohol is a big part of socity and social interaction, I don't want to be recluded and with fear of being around alcohol, but I know I need a few months away before I can be in those social situations again.

It's I'm so used to drink I don't even remember anything than happened on friday night and the whole saturday, that's not the kind of life I want to live anymore.

desypete

i was 23 years old when i entered the rooms of aa my drinking was weekend only at that time and i was getting drunk at the weekends and behaving badly, i would wake up with the shame of what i did the night before to deal with, i would be scard of what i had done and hide away from people to avoid the embarrassment of it all
i would want to crawl under a rock if someone told me what i was like the night before

but i thought i couldn't be an alcoholic as i dont drink everyday and i am so young until i went to aa and found others that were young just like me and behaved just like me it was amazing to find people who also knew how i felt as they talked about themselves just like i am talking to you here

i would be fine all week without a drink but i couldnt wait till the weekend again were i could get smashed again even though i might of caused trouble in my last drinking episode it still didnt stop me from trying to drink in a different way or control what i drink or the amount a drank

when i found out that when i take the first drink it sets off a craving in my body that needs more and more it made sense to me. as i could go all week without a drink or crave a drink but once i took a drink well then all bets were off as i would end up getting so smashed i would need carrying home

so i would ask you to give aa a try and see what you think as i know it held all the answers for me when i was 23 sadly i only stayed around for 3 years and then left aa i went on to stay sober on my own for 15 years and then picked up the drink again
that lead to 8 years of drinking were i ended up going to prison for my drunken brawls or behaviour
i lost everything my job my money my family and i ended up with a drink as my only thing left in life drinking everyday
so it had progress in me from weekend drinking to drinking everyday just to cope with how i was
i only wish today i would of stayed around aa as i would of avoided what happend in my life

good luck to you and hope you dont follow in my path of destruction that i had to go down before i got the help that was needed

SoberHoopsFan

I had this pattern into my 30s, trust me, it gets a lot worse as you reach your late 20s and out of the age range where "weekend warrior" is even remotely acceptable in society. I had the same issues with coke, it seems to go hand in hand with heavy drinking (we wouldn't use if sober, but after 10 drinks, why not?). Eventually you find yourself very alone, everyone else grew up and the party moved on, but you're still binge drinking. Good for you to spot the problem at 24, and hopefully you can fix it now before you endure the problems down the road that are likely follow. Get a plan to stay sober and stick with it. Welcome aboard, you're in the right place.

PurpleKnight

I'd give going to bars a miss, as I mentioned you need to make serious changes to your weekends to make this work.

MrPhilDuck

Yes I did it! I managed to go through a night without alcohol in the screening of the short movie of a friend of mine.

All my friends were there, all of them were drinking beer or having drinks, at first I was super anxious but I had a soda and started to calm down as the night went on, in the middle of the party when everybody was drunk I had no urge to have drinks at all.

I surprised myself of how easygoing I am while sober and also at the positive feed back I got from some of my friends, they definitely prefer to see me as a normal person than as a crazy drunk with no control.

I got home and had a nice sleep, today is another day of work and I feel great, looking forward to the weekend and another fight to get better!