Sitting on the edge about to go over!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Pasadena, MD
Posts: 4
Sitting on the edge about to go over!
I don't know where to start- I guess the guilt or maybe the knowledge of what is about to happen has brought me here. Anyway I'm here now. I've read a lot of posts and it seems like a great place to be.
First and foremost I recognize that I have an "addictive" personality- first it was drinking, then gambling and now back to the drinking. I don't think I am an alcoholic but I don't really know what I am. What I do know is that after reading the posts here, I know that things can rapidly progress.
I am a wife/mother/employed and have recently started to drink more heavily-I haven't drank in years outside of an occasional night out- but in the last two weeks I have found myself wanting to drink everyday (I don't), but I want too. Why??? I came from a good family, my mother has her PhD- my father was in the oil business. My husband and I have a six figure income. My husband drinks at home- but I can't deal with him right now- I have to get myself straightened out first. I like to drink in a social setting, but I drink till the bar is closed. I feel like a lost soul. Thanks for creating such a sight- it is nice too know that there are other people out there like me.
First and foremost I recognize that I have an "addictive" personality- first it was drinking, then gambling and now back to the drinking. I don't think I am an alcoholic but I don't really know what I am. What I do know is that after reading the posts here, I know that things can rapidly progress.
I am a wife/mother/employed and have recently started to drink more heavily-I haven't drank in years outside of an occasional night out- but in the last two weeks I have found myself wanting to drink everyday (I don't), but I want too. Why??? I came from a good family, my mother has her PhD- my father was in the oil business. My husband and I have a six figure income. My husband drinks at home- but I can't deal with him right now- I have to get myself straightened out first. I like to drink in a social setting, but I drink till the bar is closed. I feel like a lost soul. Thanks for creating such a sight- it is nice too know that there are other people out there like me.
we're all mad here!
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: a padded room with bars
Posts: 1,681
Welcome to SR, livinloco!
Nobody but you can decide whether you're an alcoholic or not. I would, however, take into consideration the fact that you sought out this website.
Good plan! Your first priority should be YOU. Maybe you should head down to the Al Anon forums as well...... might help you with your husband, and down to the alcoholism forum for yourself. You don't have to belong to just one forum.
Why don't you check out some AA meetings...... can't hurt, might help. You don't have to be an alcoholic to go to them. I remember going to one with a freind (I was supporting her) when I was in my early 20's and not drinking yet. It was an eye opening experience. The meeting would help you decide whether you are an alcoholic or not.
Please nip it in the bud before it DOES take everything away from you. And it will.
I don't think I am an alcoholic but I don't really know what I am.
My husband drinks at home- but I can't deal with him right now- I have to get myself straightened out first.
Why don't you check out some AA meetings...... can't hurt, might help. You don't have to be an alcoholic to go to them. I remember going to one with a freind (I was supporting her) when I was in my early 20's and not drinking yet. It was an eye opening experience. The meeting would help you decide whether you are an alcoholic or not.
Please nip it in the bud before it DOES take everything away from you. And it will.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: The Mohave Desert
Posts: 2,306
Hi livinloco, 
Glad you found us....
It is wise of you to take a serious look at you're drinking before it gets too out of hand. Usually when we start asking ourselves if we have a problem with alcohol, we do.
Try stopping, don't drink for the next month. Maybe find a AA meeting and listen to others share their experience, strength and hope.
You don't have to go any farther down the road to addiction. You can make a informed decision about deciding that you do not want to have a dependancy on alcohol.
Keep hanging out here....I love it here and it helps this girl to stay sober.
Glad you found us....
It is wise of you to take a serious look at you're drinking before it gets too out of hand. Usually when we start asking ourselves if we have a problem with alcohol, we do.
Try stopping, don't drink for the next month. Maybe find a AA meeting and listen to others share their experience, strength and hope.
You don't have to go any farther down the road to addiction. You can make a informed decision about deciding that you do not want to have a dependancy on alcohol.
Keep hanging out here....I love it here and it helps this girl to stay sober.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Pasadena, MD
Posts: 4
I thank you both for your comments. I do recognize that there is a problem brewing and I do not wish to have it escalate any further than it has. I'm relocated here about 2 yrs ago and have not established any relationships- I guess I just want to get out and be with people. I love my husband and my daughter, but there is such a terribly strong urge to want to drink. I feel guilty for what it is doing to my daughter and for letting myself down. I feel like a failure.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: UK
Posts: 375
Hi Livin'
It's good you've found SR - I'm Deg a lesser-spotted alcoholic from England. I read your post and tried to think at what point I started to actually think 'alcoholic' it happened very quickly and maybe only 3 or 5 years ago. First of all I looked up stuff on the 'net and remember finding somewhere a set of alcoholic milestones bewtween starting to drink and ending up dead - I was pleased at the time because I was only on something like step 5 out of 100. Have a drink to celebrate methinks.
Sorry - I'm rambling.
If you're not sure if you're an alcoholic, not a lot's going to change basically - Maybe give up the drink for a couple of months as a test? Then see how you feel. Or have a serious self-analyse and see if you can spot any short temperedness, low attention, disturbed sleep, secretive drinking (now be honest... LOL!) and the likes in your behaviour or if you've ever risked a life by driving OTL?
If so - you can join the rest of us in the alleyway with our boozebottles wrapped in brown paper bags and with flies buzzing round our heads - because that's what you have to be like.
Ignore me I'm in one of my moods. Welcome Livinloco.
Deg.
It's good you've found SR - I'm Deg a lesser-spotted alcoholic from England. I read your post and tried to think at what point I started to actually think 'alcoholic' it happened very quickly and maybe only 3 or 5 years ago. First of all I looked up stuff on the 'net and remember finding somewhere a set of alcoholic milestones bewtween starting to drink and ending up dead - I was pleased at the time because I was only on something like step 5 out of 100. Have a drink to celebrate methinks.
Sorry - I'm rambling.
If you're not sure if you're an alcoholic, not a lot's going to change basically - Maybe give up the drink for a couple of months as a test? Then see how you feel. Or have a serious self-analyse and see if you can spot any short temperedness, low attention, disturbed sleep, secretive drinking (now be honest... LOL!) and the likes in your behaviour or if you've ever risked a life by driving OTL?
If so - you can join the rest of us in the alleyway with our boozebottles wrapped in brown paper bags and with flies buzzing round our heads - because that's what you have to be like.
Ignore me I'm in one of my moods. Welcome Livinloco.
Deg.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Pasadena, MD
Posts: 4
Deg-
Greetings from across the Atlantic! You actually made me laugh
First things first, Short Tempered: only when I don't get my way
Low Attention: I'm a blonde, what can I say
Secretive Drinking: No, I can't stand drinking alone- I like the nightlife I like to
.
Anyway on the serious side- I have never, ever had a desire to drink alone or in secret. I have put my own self in jeopardy by driving my car, but most recently have discovered a bar that I MUST pass on the way home (within 1/4 mile walking) and it just seems that my car wants to pull in there everyday/ It's a family bar so I can bring my child (Now that's healthy). I would think that would be enough, but it's just not. I think I will try an AA Meeting, boy will that open up a whole nother can with my presumed to be AH.
Thanks, all advice is most solicited and appreciated- I need honesty not another bar tab.
Greetings from across the Atlantic! You actually made me laugh
First things first, Short Tempered: only when I don't get my way
Low Attention: I'm a blonde, what can I say
Secretive Drinking: No, I can't stand drinking alone- I like the nightlife I like to
.Anyway on the serious side- I have never, ever had a desire to drink alone or in secret. I have put my own self in jeopardy by driving my car, but most recently have discovered a bar that I MUST pass on the way home (within 1/4 mile walking) and it just seems that my car wants to pull in there everyday/ It's a family bar so I can bring my child (Now that's healthy). I would think that would be enough, but it's just not. I think I will try an AA Meeting, boy will that open up a whole nother can with my presumed to be AH.
Thanks, all advice is most solicited and appreciated- I need honesty not another bar tab.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: UK
Posts: 375
HI Livinloco - It sounds very much as if there is no real evidence of alcohol of mass distruction but a very good case could be drawn for regime change.
MI5 reports that its operatives are also unable to find alcohol of mass distruction, but were wearing sunglasses and looking in the oposite direction at the time waiting for the next series of Big Brother to start.
Our government has decided that, based upon reports of activity in a family bar the US administration is pressing for regime change because Bush senior was once served beer there in a dirty glass and seing as they're bigger than us and Macdonalds pays for every MP to go on holiday twice a year, it has been decided to back the move rather than side with the French who smell, eat frogs legs, and speak the language of hell we were all forced to learn as children.
Hopefully there will be regime change and no backlash from the drinking community as a result of this action. With the help of special SR forces the authorities will impose special control over the means of delivery and means of acquisition of alcohol of mass distruction and monitor carefully the outcome.
The French are a bit happier about things now - which is nice.
Special Agent Deg.
MI5 reports that its operatives are also unable to find alcohol of mass distruction, but were wearing sunglasses and looking in the oposite direction at the time waiting for the next series of Big Brother to start.
Our government has decided that, based upon reports of activity in a family bar the US administration is pressing for regime change because Bush senior was once served beer there in a dirty glass and seing as they're bigger than us and Macdonalds pays for every MP to go on holiday twice a year, it has been decided to back the move rather than side with the French who smell, eat frogs legs, and speak the language of hell we were all forced to learn as children.
Hopefully there will be regime change and no backlash from the drinking community as a result of this action. With the help of special SR forces the authorities will impose special control over the means of delivery and means of acquisition of alcohol of mass distruction and monitor carefully the outcome.
The French are a bit happier about things now - which is nice.
Special Agent Deg.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Hey LivinLoco
I'm Rowan, and I'm an alcoholic. I'm employed too, have kids, never lost a house, job, material possessions etc but I soon learned that alcoholism does not discriminate. Regardless of your social status, income, material possessions, you too may be an alcoholic. I love being an alcoholic in recovery, my life has improved in so many ways! I feel so much better on the inside and I didn't think that would ever happen for me without taking a drink or some other substance.
I'm so glad you're here and hope to see you here more often. Keep coming back!
Rowan
:tri
I'm Rowan, and I'm an alcoholic. I'm employed too, have kids, never lost a house, job, material possessions etc but I soon learned that alcoholism does not discriminate. Regardless of your social status, income, material possessions, you too may be an alcoholic. I love being an alcoholic in recovery, my life has improved in so many ways! I feel so much better on the inside and I didn't think that would ever happen for me without taking a drink or some other substance.
I'm so glad you're here and hope to see you here more often. Keep coming back!
Rowan
:tri
Last edited by Rowan; 07-16-2004 at 08:02 PM. Reason: spelling error
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