This site fills me with frustration...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Dragon:
My impression from your posts is that you're doing the very best for yourself, staying on the safe side, ignoring prescriptions which you think might be a trigger and ignoring posts on this site which you think could be a trigger. Good for you! You seem to be making a fine start into recovery. Keep up the momentum, focus on what's good and what's not good for you and don't let anything or anyone else stand in your way. Every good wish.
W.
My impression from your posts is that you're doing the very best for yourself, staying on the safe side, ignoring prescriptions which you think might be a trigger and ignoring posts on this site which you think could be a trigger. Good for you! You seem to be making a fine start into recovery. Keep up the momentum, focus on what's good and what's not good for you and don't let anything or anyone else stand in your way. Every good wish.
W.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
One of the most important lessons I've learned in my journey into sobriety is not to become too concerned about what other people are doing in theirs.
Sure, I will try and support others and share my experiences. But what I won't do is judge where they are. I have no idea what people are taking or not taking or whether they are telling the truth at all.
All I know is that SR saved my life. I had never talked to anyone about my alcoholism and I learned to share and be open here...and now I try to help others get a foothold.
I would encourage you to try and let go of your frustration and resentment. Those things are really dangerous for an alcoholic to hold onto.
Best wishes.
Sure, I will try and support others and share my experiences. But what I won't do is judge where they are. I have no idea what people are taking or not taking or whether they are telling the truth at all.
All I know is that SR saved my life. I had never talked to anyone about my alcoholism and I learned to share and be open here...and now I try to help others get a foothold.
I would encourage you to try and let go of your frustration and resentment. Those things are really dangerous for an alcoholic to hold onto.
Best wishes.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
I'm glad you posted your concerns Dragon and now see that it's actually triggering you to start addict conversations with yourself.
It may not seem like it, but those internal conversations can help us strengthen our resolve. It's tough, for sure. My gripe was moderating in the beginning - I'd just come to terms with being an alcohiolic and then, what? Folks were posting here about moderation...
Difficult. Keep on your own sober path. If you decided whatever it is you want to stop, then stick with what's right for you.
Good luck!
It may not seem like it, but those internal conversations can help us strengthen our resolve. It's tough, for sure. My gripe was moderating in the beginning - I'd just come to terms with being an alcohiolic and then, what? Folks were posting here about moderation...
Difficult. Keep on your own sober path. If you decided whatever it is you want to stop, then stick with what's right for you.
Good luck!
~Music is my mantra ----{-@
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 146
Ready, I get that, but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with for me. I get frustrated with people claiming to be sober when they've actually been on drugs during their so called sobriety for the entire time. I guess we all have a different idea of what "sober" means. To me is means abstaining from drugs that alter my state of mind. But you're right, I need to focus on myself and do what's best to maintan my own sobriety.
Keeping it simple!
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Surrey, BC
Posts: 3,282
Originally Posted by DragonInTheSky 
Ready, I get that, but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with for me. I get frustrated with people claiming to be sober when they've actually been on drugs during their so called sobriety for the entire time. I guess we all have a different idea of what "sober" means. To me is means abstaining from drugs that alter my state of mind. But you're right, I need to focus on myself and do what's best to maintan my own sobriety.
Focusing on others recovery takes the focus off your own recovery and this is something you don't want to do. It does fall in to the judgement area and believe me I was and can still be a very judgemental person. It really does nothing for my recovery other than makes me nuts and makes me over think everything. It's not healthy for me and at the end of the day whom am I to judge anyways. Just keep it simple, all that matters is you.
3 days is fabulous by the way and the longer you are sober the better it will get. Quite frankly I found everything and everyone frustrating when I first started out.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North salt lake
Posts: 3,325
Originally Posted by DragonInTheSky
Another realization for me is that the thread I read that sparked me to post this one is triggering the addict in me. It's making me want to run to my doctor and try to get a prescription for benzos so I have something to fall back on. That addicted part of me is saying, "Hey, look at all the other people that are addicts and taking them. They're doing okay. Why can't you?" When I know that if I take just one I will be on the addiction roller coaster once again. There seem to be tons of people on this forum like this, but I am not, and I think most serious addicts who are honest with themselves aren't either. If I want to stay strong here I must keep away from these kind of posts, as they only trigger that inner beast that makes me want to run out and use again.
This serious addict is honest and disagrees with your statement.
For some reason, this post makes me mad.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Dragon -
I feel your frustration, I also was quite miffed at others early on. After quitting booze I secretly was hoping to be prescribed benzos. I had some left over from a previous injury, and about 6 months after quitting booze I took one...and WOW. I got excited thinking about being able to "sneak around" this issue, someday. I was jealous and annoyed by others here using this kind of drug, because I knew - for me - it might be just as good as drinking. Then I found my own loophole. I started smoking pot. This lead me down another dead end road and delayed my recovery significantly.
Keeping alcohol, marijuana, and benzos out of my life works for me. I'd gather I'm in the majority here, but it really doesn't matter. I can't control what others do, I can only do what's right for myself. In the end, it's the most important thing and that's what I focus on.
These early days are pretty rocky. If you need to get some issues off your chest, that's fine. If you feel like arguing, that's okay too. Just don't pick up the bottle or start using any drugs. You're doing the right thing, and it's a credit to you. Hope you stick around and stay focused, all the best.
I feel your frustration, I also was quite miffed at others early on. After quitting booze I secretly was hoping to be prescribed benzos. I had some left over from a previous injury, and about 6 months after quitting booze I took one...and WOW. I got excited thinking about being able to "sneak around" this issue, someday. I was jealous and annoyed by others here using this kind of drug, because I knew - for me - it might be just as good as drinking. Then I found my own loophole. I started smoking pot. This lead me down another dead end road and delayed my recovery significantly.
Keeping alcohol, marijuana, and benzos out of my life works for me. I'd gather I'm in the majority here, but it really doesn't matter. I can't control what others do, I can only do what's right for myself. In the end, it's the most important thing and that's what I focus on.
These early days are pretty rocky. If you need to get some issues off your chest, that's fine. If you feel like arguing, that's okay too. Just don't pick up the bottle or start using any drugs. You're doing the right thing, and it's a credit to you. Hope you stick around and stay focused, all the best.
~Music is my mantra ----{-@
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 146
Raider...the only reason I can contemplate about why that post made you mad is that you yourself use addictive prescription drugs and you don't like to be called out about it. If you do and you can handle it fine, if you haven't got a problem with it, it shouldn't bother you. In my own experience with NA/AA and otherwise, addicts should avoid certain drugs. That's the way it is. If you see it differently, so be it. And if I am wrong about you using other drugs besides alcohol, I apologize. I've just had too many experiences where people have fallen off the wagon because they were taking other drugs and using the excuse of it being a prescription to validate their use. If that makes you mad, so be it. That's the way I feel.
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
I try to not compare my recovery with someone else's recovery. I've found that i can stay focused on what i need to do for me if i pull my head out of other people's dirty laundry. It's not my business if someone takes an addictive medication. If it works for them, it works. If it doesn't and they want to quit, then it's my business. I've decided to find people who have what i want and ask them to tell me how they did it and do what they suggest. If someone has a kind of sobriety that i don't want, i leave them to their own devices and don't ask for their advice. If they give it, i thank them for their suggestion and decide whether or not it could be of use to me.
Why are you concerned with someone else's sobriety? It seems to be bringing you nothing but distress and resentment. You don't have to work their program if you don't think it will work for you. I talk to a psych and take the meds he prescribes me. They work for my mental illness. That's enough for me.
Why are you concerned with someone else's sobriety? It seems to be bringing you nothing but distress and resentment. You don't have to work their program if you don't think it will work for you. I talk to a psych and take the meds he prescribes me. They work for my mental illness. That's enough for me.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Dragon
There are lots of us who use prescription meds here.
I'm one of them.
I have cerebral palsy. I've had several strokes.
I have a lot of chronic pain.
One of my pain relief options is an opiate - a weak widely available one, but an opiate nonetheless.
I'm not going to justify my use, or my sobriety, to you or anyone else.
As far as I'm concerned it's between me and my Dr.
You're entitled to your opinion.
It's no biggie to me what other people think.
Please remember that we have rules here though
D
There are lots of us who use prescription meds here.
I'm one of them.
I have cerebral palsy. I've had several strokes.
I have a lot of chronic pain.
One of my pain relief options is an opiate - a weak widely available one, but an opiate nonetheless.
I'm not going to justify my use, or my sobriety, to you or anyone else.
As far as I'm concerned it's between me and my Dr.
You're entitled to your opinion.
It's no biggie to me what other people think.
Please remember that we have rules here though
4. No Flaming: Posting of any content with the intention of disrupting the forum or inflaming members-be it on someone's person, religious beliefs, race, national background, sexual orientation, or recovery program. This includes flaming, flame baiting, registration of multiple accounts or impersonation of another member. Do not Harass, threaten, embarrass or cause distress or discomfort upon another Online Forum participant. This includes flaming on our forums or other public forums.
No posts that attack, insult, "flame", defame, or abuse members or non-members. Respect other members of the community and don’t belittle, make fun of, or insult another member or non-member. Decisions about health and recovery are highly personal, individual choices. "Flaming" and insults, however, will not be tolerated. Agree to disagree. This applies to both the forums and chat.
No posts that attack, insult, "flame", defame, or abuse members or non-members. Respect other members of the community and don’t belittle, make fun of, or insult another member or non-member. Decisions about health and recovery are highly personal, individual choices. "Flaming" and insults, however, will not be tolerated. Agree to disagree. This applies to both the forums and chat.
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 480
While I don't think length of sobriety is ALWAYS an important factor in giving advice, once I gained a little bit it was easier to give constructive criticism. Otherwise it's kind of like trying to shoot a bow and arrow with no arrows...
How long have you been sober Dragon?
Maybe the "problem" isn't posters and members "using benzos" rather it's your inability to be at peace with the fact that you cannot use benzos or alcohol in a productive manner?
How long have you been sober Dragon?
Maybe the "problem" isn't posters and members "using benzos" rather it's your inability to be at peace with the fact that you cannot use benzos or alcohol in a productive manner?
~Music is my mantra ----{-@
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 146
"4. No Flaming: Posting of any content with the intention of disrupting the forum or inflaming members-be it on someone's person, religious beliefs, race, national background, sexual orientation, or recovery program. This includes flaming, flame baiting, registration of multiple accounts or impersonation of another member. Do not Harass, threaten, embarrass or cause distress or discomfort upon another Online Forum participant. This includes flaming on our forums or other public forums.
No posts that attack, insult, "flame", defame, or abuse members or non-members. Respect other members of the community and don’t belittle, make fun of, or insult another member or non-member. Decisions about health and recovery are highly personal, individual choices. "Flaming" and insults, however, will not be tolerated. Agree to disagree. This applies to both the forums and chat."
I haven't done any of this at any time. It is becoming obvious to me that I do not fit in to this forum. Take care everyone, and I wish you all the best.
No posts that attack, insult, "flame", defame, or abuse members or non-members. Respect other members of the community and don’t belittle, make fun of, or insult another member or non-member. Decisions about health and recovery are highly personal, individual choices. "Flaming" and insults, however, will not be tolerated. Agree to disagree. This applies to both the forums and chat."
I haven't done any of this at any time. It is becoming obvious to me that I do not fit in to this forum. Take care everyone, and I wish you all the best.
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 480
Side note- I used to be obsessed with what others around me did as well... When it came to drinking at least. I looked at others drinking and thought "how can my family think THEY are ok when (in my mind) they were exhibiting self destructive behaviors just like me?"
Then one day, I woke up from that selfish attitude... Why does it matter what others are doing? What matters most is what I am doing. Randomly assuming, projecting and nitpicking peoples actions (and in this case peoples posts) will do you no good in achieving not only sobriety, but peace of mind... And peace of mind is one of the greatest gifts of sobriety.
Worry about you dragon, ya know?
Then one day, I woke up from that selfish attitude... Why does it matter what others are doing? What matters most is what I am doing. Randomly assuming, projecting and nitpicking peoples actions (and in this case peoples posts) will do you no good in achieving not only sobriety, but peace of mind... And peace of mind is one of the greatest gifts of sobriety.
Worry about you dragon, ya know?
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 480
Originally Posted by DragonInTheSky
"4. No Flaming: Posting of any content with the intention of disrupting the forum or inflaming members-be it on someone's person, religious beliefs, race, national background, sexual orientation, or recovery program. This includes flaming, flame baiting, registration of multiple accounts or impersonation of another member. Do not Harass, threaten, embarrass or cause distress or discomfort upon another Online Forum participant. This includes flaming on our forums or other public forums.
No posts that attack, insult, "flame", defame, or abuse members or non-members. Respect other members of the community and don’t belittle, make fun of, or insult another member or non-member. Decisions about health and recovery are highly personal, individual choices. "Flaming" and insults, however, will not be tolerated. Agree to disagree. This applies to both the forums and chat."
I haven't done any of this at any time. It is becoming obvious to me that I do not fit in to this forum. Take care everyone, and I wish you all the best.
No posts that attack, insult, "flame", defame, or abuse members or non-members. Respect other members of the community and don’t belittle, make fun of, or insult another member or non-member. Decisions about health and recovery are highly personal, individual choices. "Flaming" and insults, however, will not be tolerated. Agree to disagree. This applies to both the forums and chat."
I haven't done any of this at any time. It is becoming obvious to me that I do not fit in to this forum. Take care everyone, and I wish you all the best.
Stick around, this place saved my life... It may do the same for you
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
It's very easy in early recovery to focus on others or on some outrage - it takes our mind off the task at hand.
Outrage won't last forever tho.
I hope you decide to stick around and focus on the important battle in your life Dragon - your own recovery.
For now tho, this thread is closed.
D
Outrage won't last forever tho.
I hope you decide to stick around and focus on the important battle in your life Dragon - your own recovery.
For now tho, this thread is closed.
It is also our policy not to allow threads that are purely to announce that you are unhappy here and "leaving the site'" or to post threads discussing why someone left or was banned. Such posts often detract from our purpose of providing support in recovery. Posts of this nature may be removed and continued posting of this nature could jeopardize your membership. If you wish to “leave” SR or just take a break from the site you are welcome to notify your friends via the Private Message feature.
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