ScottFromWI

The key now (After withdrawals of course) is to build a plan that allows you to keep that promise. Not to downplay your situation, but it's very common to say that, and fully intend to never drink again after an embarrassing/shameful drinking episode. It's also very common to drink again once the initial shock wears off. It doesn't have to be that way though...this can be your last day 1 if you truly want it.

desypete

you remind me of the huge shame and guilt i would feel the next day when my head remembers what i did last night. the many times i got arrested and charged with things and had the shame of my name in the local paper and had to hide away from people who knew me
i wish that was the end of my troubles but it didnt end there as i carried on drinking believing i will change my drinks or only drink later on
eveything i tried to do with drink i failed at as i always ended up smashed out of my brains and waking up with the guilt shame and remorse, and trying to remember just what i did

i even ended up going to prison as the courts got fed up with me re offending in my drunken sprees

in prison i swore i would never drink again and i will change my life around when i get out
and i meant it with all my heart

i got out and still drank again and back to prison i ended going again

i lost my kids my home my money my business i ended up with nothing and no one but an empty flat that was given to me by a hostel housing group and i was still drinking and in danger of losing that as well
finaly i woke up one day and i just knew i couldnt carry on living like this i was drinking daily by this time throwing up in buckets to get another drink down me

how had i ended up like this ???? i was only a weekend bender drinker yet i was now totaly dependant on the booze just to function

only when i gave in and went into aa did my life start to change, but i was beaten by life and booze,

so i can only hope you find the help in the aa meetings that i found and the people there will be the same types of people who took care of me, i owe these guys my life for how it is today
10 years on and i have all my kids back have been a single parent for the last 8 years, i work, i still attend aa to help were i can and my life is peaceful and fun at times even though i have lost my young son to cancer i am starting to make my way back into the world again just like i did when my problem was how to get through a day without picking up a drink. my problem has been how to get through a day without my son around anymore
i have to work at it daily for all my problems in life but i only found these things out in aa
funny enough i havent seen a police man or the inside of a cell either since i have been sober
thats because i never have done anything to break the law sober but in drink well thats a different matter

good luck to you sorry its a long post but i hope you get somethnig out of it
take care

soberlife123

I'm still so sad

HealthyK

LawGirl, sometimes you have to be at a breaking point to make it count. If you need a sober buddy or encouragement, I would be happy to help since we have the same sober date anyhow. I have messed up relationships because of my drinking before. You have to do this for you, but a willingness to change is a very good start.

soberlife123

I've lost friendships before over my drinking but this is the first time my sister hates me so much right now.

HealthyK

Yep. Been there too. If you give them a few days to cool off, apologize and show them you're willing to change and the steps you're taking to do so, you may find that there is some forgiveness.

soberlife123

So you think I should just let her cool off?

HealthyK

Well I don't know the extent of it. I would apologize and maybe let her know that you're taking steps to address the problem and let her know that you want to work it out with her. She might not be ready to talk yet but apologizing and asking her to forgive you is a good step to take. Making amends help alleviate some of the anxiety. I would maybe wait until you're feeling slightly less anxious just in case she's not willing to talk yet. Sometimes that's hard to hear.

soberlife123

Yeah my mom was saying that if she's not ready to listen I would just be facing her wrath and that I wouldn't be able to do that/it might not be a good head space for me in early sobriety.

HealthyK

Very true. If you're not prepared to hear what she has to say if she's still really mad, it could affect your sobriety and that is counterproductive. It will probably be easier to talk to her once you've made some steps towards sobriety again.

ScottFromWI

I think you need to worry about yourself and getting sober. The chips will fall as they may so to speak with others, but there is a far greater chance that things will be better if you get and stay sober. Change what you can.

soberlife123

I'm just so sad over the whole thing

ScottFromWI

That's pretty common ( to feel sad ) but you can't change what happened. Staying sober today is a great first step.

Wastinglife

I have a strained relationship with my family due to the things I said while drunk. A switch goes off in my head and it's like I lose control of my brain. I am full of guilt and shame. I am sure that you will be forgiven if you work on sobriety.

soberlife123

Wastinglife how long have you been sober for?

Wastinglife

Went to rehab 3 years ago but have had a few benders here and there. I can't seem to get past the 6 month mark.

Hawkeye13

Hi lawgirl;
I wonder what is your plan for sobriety?

If you keep relapsing, things need to change in terms of what you are doing.
The good news is, with attention to the "weak spots" you can build up a response system which will help support you when you are tempted.

That might be a good thing to be thinking about during these restless days and nights as you detox.

I started a journal and thought out possible trouble spots, as well as doing research on nutrition, exercise, and yoga / meditation options to replace negative habits with good ones.

Tightly scheduling myself after I got through detox helped quite a bit as I'm not an AA or meeting type person so was doing it on my own. However, meetings of some type have been cited over and over again on SR as key to recovery for many people.

How are you going to build your sober life now that you are committed to it?

soberlife123

As I've said yesterday I (Honestly) told all my friends I was an alcoholic and I couldn't drink and I told them what happened with my fiancee. I'm going to a meeting tonight with a friend. I've moved in with my mom where there is no alcohol and she is not drinking. I'm seeing my addiction counsellor on wednesday.

soberlife123

ex fiancee

Croissant

Lawgirl, I'm so very sorry to see things have spiralled out of control so quickly since last week.

I'm reminded of how precarious our life is when we put it in our own drunken, stupid hands. I positively ache for what you are going through...and maybe there is a chance to redeem yourself with your ex at some point. But for now, you are going to have to feel the pain, alcohol free. And boy, I know that hurts.

But it really is the only choice.

Alcohol can never bring you the feeling of pure joy. Ever. I truly believe humans can only feel pure joy when sober. That in itself is worth getting sober for, believe me.

Big hugs for you today. Time can only help with this. Be kind to yourself, start reading up on how to stay sober and really take advantage of the support here.

Be well.xx