I just need a friend
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,010
I just need a friend
My moods are up and down. My parents are pressuring me into rehab or someplace and I am not sure if I want to go. I have been considering it but I really don't know. Please help me.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,388
Hey Tetra
Think about it. Really think about it.
Seek good counsel by all means but think about what would be the best option for you - for you - not for your folks or your counsellor, or anyone else - but for you..
You're an adult - and I believe you're eminently capable of making your own decisions, as well as dealing with the consequences of those decisions.
This is not your parents life, and I firmly believe it shouldn't be your parent's decision.
D
Think about it. Really think about it.
Seek good counsel by all means but think about what would be the best option for you - for you - not for your folks or your counsellor, or anyone else - but for you..
You're an adult - and I believe you're eminently capable of making your own decisions, as well as dealing with the consequences of those decisions.
This is not your parents life, and I firmly believe it shouldn't be your parent's decision.
D
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Nottingham, UK
Posts: 193
Hi. I can only go by my own experience and I would have jumped at the chance of rehab. Having the 'choice' to drink taken away for a while and getting support and coping strategies in place 
What are your thoughts on why you don't want to go? Do you feel like you can cope with it all alone?
What are your thoughts on why you don't want to go? Do you feel like you can cope with it all alone?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
As I reflect back on my own rehab experience
that happened to me thru family intervening
on me, seeking help for my state of mind on
that very day back in August 1990, I finally
realized that their actions saved my life.
I didn't realize I was so close to death because
I was so sick with an illness I wasn't really aware
of till I actually spent those first few days in rehab,
It took professionals who were in position
to tell me that I was an alcoholic. Someone,
like many others with a drinking problem I
couldn't control on my own.
It took them to teach me why alcohol was
destroying and affecting my mind and body.
That alcohol was and is a chemical substance,
a poison affecting all areas of my body, mind,
motor skills, emotions, feelings.
It took staying in a rehab facility, hospital,
a safe haven with professionals guiding me,
helping me thru each day to get better. To
teach me the hows and whys chemical
substances affect me in all areas of my
life.
What my family did to me, I thought at
the time, was cruel and mean. However,
because I was so sick at that time and
didn't understand my addiction and its
affects on them and me, it took awhile to learn
that they were saving my life, saving myself
from destroying me.
Rehab, where there are no temptations
to drink for 28 days, that time allowed
the chemicals to exit out of my body
and open my mind to learning some
important information and used a program
of recovery to use each day, rely on each
day I didn't drink.
I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't
for them getting me help 23 yrs ago
when I wanted to die. Today, I still
live my recovery life and give others
just like you hope that life does get
better because I have a program to
live by so I can stay sober each day
on my own.
If I ever, which I pray I don't, get to
a dark place in my life because of my
addiction and failed to use my program
of recovery taught to me, I would return
to rehab to learn some more.
that happened to me thru family intervening
on me, seeking help for my state of mind on
that very day back in August 1990, I finally
realized that their actions saved my life.
I didn't realize I was so close to death because
I was so sick with an illness I wasn't really aware
of till I actually spent those first few days in rehab,
It took professionals who were in position
to tell me that I was an alcoholic. Someone,
like many others with a drinking problem I
couldn't control on my own.
It took them to teach me why alcohol was
destroying and affecting my mind and body.
That alcohol was and is a chemical substance,
a poison affecting all areas of my body, mind,
motor skills, emotions, feelings.
It took staying in a rehab facility, hospital,
a safe haven with professionals guiding me,
helping me thru each day to get better. To
teach me the hows and whys chemical
substances affect me in all areas of my
life.
What my family did to me, I thought at
the time, was cruel and mean. However,
because I was so sick at that time and
didn't understand my addiction and its
affects on them and me, it took awhile to learn
that they were saving my life, saving myself
from destroying me.
Rehab, where there are no temptations
to drink for 28 days, that time allowed
the chemicals to exit out of my body
and open my mind to learning some
important information and used a program
of recovery to use each day, rely on each
day I didn't drink.
I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't
for them getting me help 23 yrs ago
when I wanted to die. Today, I still
live my recovery life and give others
just like you hope that life does get
better because I have a program to
live by so I can stay sober each day
on my own.
If I ever, which I pray I don't, get to
a dark place in my life because of my
addiction and failed to use my program
of recovery taught to me, I would return
to rehab to learn some more.
Marchia in Aeternum
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,094
Tetra, I'm assuming that you are typical post-graduate age.
By that age I already had two DUI's and had been expelled from college, literally twice in the same day. I've been smart enough and lucky enough to have a good career. In the last few years my excesses have finally caught up to me. I've had the sense to get straight recently and am looking forward to a new life.
In perfect hindsight, had I been offered a chance to reform my life to a sober, productive future, I would have jumped all over a stint in rehab in my early twenties.
By that age I already had two DUI's and had been expelled from college, literally twice in the same day. I've been smart enough and lucky enough to have a good career. In the last few years my excesses have finally caught up to me. I've had the sense to get straight recently and am looking forward to a new life.
In perfect hindsight, had I been offered a chance to reform my life to a sober, productive future, I would have jumped all over a stint in rehab in my early twenties.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Do you think you should go tetra? Make a list of the pros and cons if it helps. While your parents may have good intentions, you must decide.
I personally think it would be a great idea. It would help with your alcoholism if course, but more importantly get you away from your parents. You need to become independent of them and stop worrying about what they think or do.
I personally think it would be a great idea. It would help with your alcoholism if course, but more importantly get you away from your parents. You need to become independent of them and stop worrying about what they think or do.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,417
What about a sober living situation as I suggested in the last thread like Oxford House?
Or possibly the rehab and then moving into sober living?
What do you want? From my perspective, it really seems to me like getting some distance from your parents would be very healthy for you, and if you can make that
happen, I would consider it.
If you could do the rehab and/or sober living in a major city area, you would have many more work options than you do in the country. That would really help your future, don't you think?
If your mom is going to focus on the relapse, what does that mean
for you living at home and your peace of mind? That's important to factor in.
What would you like to do?
Or possibly the rehab and then moving into sober living?
What do you want? From my perspective, it really seems to me like getting some distance from your parents would be very healthy for you, and if you can make that
happen, I would consider it.
If you could do the rehab and/or sober living in a major city area, you would have many more work options than you do in the country. That would really help your future, don't you think?
If your mom is going to focus on the relapse, what does that mean
for you living at home and your peace of mind? That's important to factor in.
What would you like to do?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Augusta, GA
Posts: 888
Tetra, I didn't want to go to rehab either, once I got there...I didn't want to leave! If you have the opportunity to go, by all means I think you should take it! EVERYTHING in our lives can wait while we get the help we need. Sometimes it takes stepping out of the norm to get centered and I appreciate every moment I had in treatment and have friends for life now!
Look at it as an opportunity instead of a negative thing and enjoy your time there!
Look at it as an opportunity instead of a negative thing and enjoy your time there!
pray for strength
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 2,414
Morning Tetra,
Any situation that would offer you genuine support while you sort through your emotions, help you not feel alone, make sure that you eat 3xday and guarantee the opportunity for sleep would be a great idea during this time. Does this sound like rehab? I'm honestly not sure, but if it does sound like rehab then I'm all for it and that is my suggestion. Basic needs PLUS new skills to get you out of this rut.
You have come so far with your sobriety and it just sounds like you need some genuine support right now that goes a little further than an occasional meeting with your counsellor.
Hugs to you Tetra.
Any situation that would offer you genuine support while you sort through your emotions, help you not feel alone, make sure that you eat 3xday and guarantee the opportunity for sleep would be a great idea during this time. Does this sound like rehab? I'm honestly not sure, but if it does sound like rehab then I'm all for it and that is my suggestion. Basic needs PLUS new skills to get you out of this rut.
You have come so far with your sobriety and it just sounds like you need some genuine support right now that goes a little further than an occasional meeting with your counsellor.
Hugs to you Tetra.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
You've got to know that "nothing"
changes unless "something" changes.
There are many folks willing to reach
out their hand, hearts, ESH - experiences,
strengths and hopes, to help you, to guide
you in getting the help you need, deserve
and hopefully you want.
You are an adult woman and folks would suggest
it's time to act like one. (Tough Love) It's time
to grow and become responsible for YOU. And
if you don't know how, folks will help you learn.
And....
It's okay to ask for help. It's ok to accept help.
That definitely doesn't make you less of a woman
when asking for help.
Grab a hold of a hand and let them lead
you to becoming a healthy, happy, honest
woman you can possibly be in life.
changes unless "something" changes.
There are many folks willing to reach
out their hand, hearts, ESH - experiences,
strengths and hopes, to help you, to guide
you in getting the help you need, deserve
and hopefully you want.
You are an adult woman and folks would suggest
it's time to act like one. (Tough Love) It's time
to grow and become responsible for YOU. And
if you don't know how, folks will help you learn.
And....
It's okay to ask for help. It's ok to accept help.
That definitely doesn't make you less of a woman
when asking for help.
Grab a hold of a hand and let them lead
you to becoming a healthy, happy, honest
woman you can possibly be in life.
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