LongBlackDream

It's just one of those nights. I feel very weary and depressed right now and I'm tired of going through days of social drinking and ending up feeling ashamed of not being able to completely quit.

I'm 27 and I've been an alcoholic since 18. There have been several successful long periods of sobriety, most recently from first week of Feb. until July 4th. I've spent this past week drinking throughout the days, mostly beer and mostly triggered by social surroundings. In the past, it was hard liquor, typically alone. I pray it doesn't get back to that and I'm determined to avoid it.

I just wanted to join a forum to possibly share my daily experiences and communicate with others going through similar times. Look forward to interacting with you.

Tarin

Sunshine14

Welcome! This site is great and you will find lots of support here! :-)

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Aarryckha

Welcome to SR, Tarin!

What tools did you use to stay sober for about five months earlier this year?

Any idea of what changed?

LongBlackDream

Well, I went thru a bad relapse and cold turkey klonopin w/d starting late Nov of last year and kept drinking until Feb when I was found blacked out in my neighborhood and taken to the hospital. So I knew I had to stop right away. Basically I became very reclusive and even though I didn't have any support I just toughed it out and quit. It's happened like that before in my life. But eventually I became more sociable again and my urge to drink sort of accelerated as summer came along. So I relapsed and partied heavily on 4th of July and have basically been drinking a good amount of beer everyday since then. I got back into the mindset of being able to handle it and being in denial of my problem.

HeadLump

A very warm welcome to you from the UK, LongBlackDream You'll find much support and understanding here. Read lots, post lots and I guarantee you'll feel less alone

trachemys

Welcome! Remember, luck is not a factor.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Tarin!! Great to have you here!!

LongBlackDream

Thanks guys I appreciate the welcome!

hayley86

Welcome, SR is a great place for support and advice. Glad you've joined us.

Ollie1124

Hi & welcome. I'm new too

LongBlackDream

I just found it might be a good idea to reach out somehow. I lack a real-life support system, and I suppose that's largely my own fault for not properly structuralizing the goal of permanent recovery and sobriety.

So far, though, I'm sober and clear-minded although I didn't sleep well. I hope to get in a good walk before the day's end and work on my music as well.

Wastinglife

LongBlackDream, I can relate to you. I have been struggling with alcohol for about 10 years. Went to rehab, and got out 3 years ago. I have had several relapses since. Usually a few days in length. I also have become reclusive. The only time I do anything socially is when booze is involved so sobriety means being very lonely.

The last time I drank I blacked out in an alley behind a bar so I also know that shame. I ruminate constantly about my past and it makes me depressed. I am not giving up this fight and neither should you.

LongBlackDream

Thanks for sharing that.It very much resembles my experience. It's long war, but I'm not giving up either.

Mags1

Hi Tarin, welcome to SR, I found this forum a great help and it's here 24/7, you're never alone. Keep posting and reaching out.