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I have failed so many times. Is there hop for me!!

Old 07-12-2014, 06:39 AM
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I have failed so many times. Is there hop for me!!

Iam 31 and an alcoholic I have been trying to quit for a long long time but I never follow through with it I never commit and I feel I will never be able to do it!!!

I just want to hear for anyone who thought it was impossible but now are sober I just need a little light at the end of the tunnel..

I will go back to aa and stay this time as I can't continue on this path it's too painful my way...
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Old 07-12-2014, 06:46 AM
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All you have to do is keep reading SR and you'll find all kinds of people that are succeeding. You said yourself: "...I never follow through with it I never commit..."

Find a way.
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Old 07-12-2014, 07:03 AM
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Hi lionheart.. I'm only 12 days clean but for me that is massive!!!! I was one of the worst, could not do 2 days in a row!! It's only with the help of the people on SR that have managed me to get where I am now... believe me this place is a life saver.. Keep reading the threads & post... it will make a big difference... Rooting for you..
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Old 07-12-2014, 07:09 AM
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Originally Posted by Lionhearted1 View Post
I just want to hear for anyone who thought it was impossible but now are sober
*Raises hands*

I was an everyday drinker (did skip some days occasionally but never more than 1 or 2 at a time) for about 8 years in my 30's with heavier and less heavy periods alternating, but a massive alcoholic. During this career I was 100% convinced about my serious addiction so little to no denial, and yet was unable to stop. I even knew about SR and posted very sporadically but never used it for good for a long time.

What made the difference about 5.5 months ago? What you said: commitment. And getting informed about recovery methods, reading in depth about other people's experiences, and making a firm decision that I wanted to quit finally no matter what and was ready to work on it. Made a plan what to try (many plans, in fact) and started experimenting with changing the dysfunctional components of my life. For me, SR has been essential during this process so far and I feel very committed to this community as well. I find the connection and interaction crucial for me. I also started working on several old stubborn issues of mine with a therapist and that's been great fun actually.

In my experience, if there is one key word to early recovery, it is commitment . And changes, and more changes. A completely new lifestyle, identifying problem areas and introducing healthy coping methods step-by-step, work in progress. AA is a great program, too - do whatever works best for you.

You can do this but it takes serious action!
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Old 07-12-2014, 07:15 AM
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Im 43 yrs old. Drank socially most of my life. Over the last 4 yrs, i dont know if it was stress of 3 children or what but it amped up. Fifth a day from morning to night. My body and soul suffered and ached. Tried many times to quit. This time 8 days feels real. I dont have any cravings. Whenever i think of drinking i can only think of bad times. Because thats what they all turned out to be. Thats what i focus on the bad. Easy enough for me to do.

You can do it.
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Old 07-12-2014, 07:15 AM
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I think what made the difference for me after years of alcohol abuse (drinking everyday) was the simple mindset of "not drinking today" looking any further ahead for an alcoholic like me is too daunting and for that reason alone I believe if you look after today you are putting less pressure on yourself long term, don't get me wrong guys I have zero intention to drink again but it's just the way I handle it personaly.
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Old 07-12-2014, 07:17 AM
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It's nice to see you again mate.

Are things the same as they were?

I have 2 years now.
I drank every evening.
It took work at first but now it comes naturally.
My life style has changed a lot though.

You going to keep coming back here now?
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Old 07-12-2014, 07:17 AM
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Yes, you can. I think when we reach the point that we will do whatever we need to...when we break down whatever resistance to what we may possibly need..we certainly can. In my last sobriety, I really didn't want to attend AA. I had before and I just didn't want to go that route..it was last on my list. I put 4 months together last year with the tremendous support of SR. But for me, in the end, I fell victim to lonelieness and isolation. I wasn't able to put myself out there in the real world enough. Not everyone needs AA...but I think I do.

I just need more things to feel the empty spaces. Although I truly believe I learned to be alone with myself much better last time..which is also important. I eventually got a little tired of my own company. Lonelieness was a double whammy for me since I returned both to drinking...and a relationship that was not healthy for me..

For me, it's just safer to dot every 'i" and cross every "t" in attacking this thing. It sounds like you're ready to do whatever it takes Lionhearted..and I think that's where we need to be.
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Old 07-12-2014, 07:24 AM
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Yes you can. You actually answered your own question right in the first paragraph of your post - if you don't make the commitment, it won't happen. The good news is that you have 100% control over it...today can be the beginning of a sober life for you of you truly want it. It doesn't matter how many times you've tried, if you commit this can be the time. If AA does work for you that sounds like a great idea to hit a meeting today.
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Old 07-12-2014, 07:29 AM
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hi lionhearted
in the end it was the sheer pain and losing everything around me that i final was beaten. i only wish i could of stopped drinking a lot sooner than i did but i couldnt

i went to aa as there was no were else to go and out of sheer desperation. there i found people who took me under the wing, they simply gave me hope that there is a way out
so it was a question of not picking up that first drink for a day at a time for me
some times it would be not pick up the drink for an hour and in that hour i would have to find myself something to do or contact someone from aa or get off to a meeting and share my pain i was in
it all worked for me in early days and its all i could do
that was 10 years ago
i still go to aa not out of need today but because i want to be there to help new comers or old timers who are having a hard time in life
it really does work but i had to want it

good luck to you in which ever path you decide to take and if you keep on failing with one path well try different ones dont keep on doing the same thing
its all about you finding out what works for you
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Old 07-12-2014, 07:39 AM
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Yes you can, but you've gotta want it. I mean REALLY want to be sober, more than anything else in life. Many of us here have done it, but it takes commitment. You'll find lots of support here.
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Old 07-12-2014, 08:51 AM
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I wish you all the luck in the world. I too am new and struggling very much. Please don't give up. Scarlett
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Old 07-12-2014, 09:07 AM
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Commit yourself to stopping drinking and you will be able to do it. Of course, there is hope. You can do this and there's no need to allow the disease to bring you down further.
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Old 07-12-2014, 10:07 AM
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You can do this!! I went round in circles for a long time, but eventually got there!!

You can too!!
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Old 07-12-2014, 10:17 AM
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There is hope. But hoping won't get you sober. Action gets you sober. Doing gets you sober. Recovery gets you sober. But having hope is a good start.
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Old 07-12-2014, 10:56 AM
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You can do this! One of my favorite quotes: when's the best time to plant a tree? 20 years ago. When's the best time to plant a tree? Today!

The past is the past. All you can do is work on getting sober today. If you really want sobriety, you can achieve it! It takes a massive commitment, and it can be hard for a while, but it's worth it! Rooting for you!
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Old 07-12-2014, 04:08 PM
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I tried for 15 years LH.

The key, in the end, was a willingness to make changes - do you think you have that now?

D
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Old 07-12-2014, 05:31 PM
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I tried and failed more times than I can remember but am now sober four and a half years. So yes, it is possible and there is hope. :
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Old 07-13-2014, 03:41 AM
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Originally Posted by Lionhearted1 View Post
Iam 31 and an alcoholic I have been trying to quit for a long long time but I never follow through with it I never commit and I feel I will never be able to do it!!!

I just want to hear for anyone who thought it was impossible but now are sober I just need a little light at the end of the tunnel..

I will go back to aa and stay this time as I can't continue on this path it's too painful my way...
I must have joined SR within a month of you. When I found this place I really didn't know if there could be a life for me after alcohol. I didn't know if anyone that drank as much as me for as long as me would be able to change. At a minimum I was resigned to seeing if I could get Antabuse or something. All I knew was I'd rather die than keep on living like I was.

Biggest fear I had was that quitting drinking would mean to stop enjoying life. I was resigned to just settling with whatever was left over.

Man, that couldn't have been more wrong! Not only was I able to stop, looking back I wasn't giving up anything. It's like a prisoner worrying he won't enjoy freedom. My life really began when I got sober.
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