22 and detoxing
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 2
22 and detoxing
Hello everybody. My name is Katie and I am very glad to have found this board and hope it will be a valuable tool. I hope to just get my story out there and tell you all a bit about myself. Any feedback or comments are welcomed, given that they are of a positive nature (which I'm sure goes without saying here).
First of all, I am incredibly young. I am 22 years old. For the past year, I have drank heavily daily. When I say "heavily", I mean that I could out-drink a 300 pound irish man. I drink to the point of a good buzz or getting drunk daily at lunch, then after work (usually around midnight) I will close down the bar and drink whiskey and beer and it usually results in a blackout. My lunchtime drink session is comporable to most people having their morning coffee. I don't even begin to feel myself until after two 6%+ beers and a shot of whiskey.
My age has been the biggest factor in my denial. I still am not sure that I'm an alcoholic. I make light of it by saying that I love to drink and that I'm a lush. My friends refer to me as a "socialite" and that my drinking is a result of my social life. I really feel that I can get control of my drinking. I feel as though it is something that I allowed to get out of hand due to a rough year, and this is something I can repair. I want to be able to drink like a normal person. One glass of wine with dinner here and there. Go to a party with friends, maybe even binge a little, but not do it again for a long period of time.
I have hid my heavy drinking from everyone. I live alone, so when I do see my parents, they aren't alarmed at the two beers I order with dinner. My friends don't know the extent, and what they do know they chalk up to me being 22 and being on my own in a big city. My boyfriend knows how much I drink, but given it's a new relationship, he doesn't know that this drinking was going on long before he was in the picture. My drinking has gotten me into some pretty scary situations too. A DUI, a one vehicle accident, a very close call on another car accident, I've injured myself drunk more times than I can count, sometimes even requiring hospitalization. I've lost jobs, passed out on the side of the road covered in vomit, made horrible decisions and quite frankly am lucky I made it past that. In fact, those instances were all 6+ months in the past, so I suppose I have already made some progress in not being as self destructive.
I have gone 36 hours without a drink. Although there's a super duper strong craving, I haven't experienced much withdrawal, which I was certain I would. The only thing I need to figure out is where to go from here. Am I a party girl who let things get out of hand? Have I relied too heavily on escapism after some personal turmoil this past year? Am I an alcoholic? I really have no answers and so many questions. I feel empowered that I have gone 36 hours without a drink, but nothing would be nicer than a cold one right now. This was so hard to write.
First of all, I am incredibly young. I am 22 years old. For the past year, I have drank heavily daily. When I say "heavily", I mean that I could out-drink a 300 pound irish man. I drink to the point of a good buzz or getting drunk daily at lunch, then after work (usually around midnight) I will close down the bar and drink whiskey and beer and it usually results in a blackout. My lunchtime drink session is comporable to most people having their morning coffee. I don't even begin to feel myself until after two 6%+ beers and a shot of whiskey.
My age has been the biggest factor in my denial. I still am not sure that I'm an alcoholic. I make light of it by saying that I love to drink and that I'm a lush. My friends refer to me as a "socialite" and that my drinking is a result of my social life. I really feel that I can get control of my drinking. I feel as though it is something that I allowed to get out of hand due to a rough year, and this is something I can repair. I want to be able to drink like a normal person. One glass of wine with dinner here and there. Go to a party with friends, maybe even binge a little, but not do it again for a long period of time.
I have hid my heavy drinking from everyone. I live alone, so when I do see my parents, they aren't alarmed at the two beers I order with dinner. My friends don't know the extent, and what they do know they chalk up to me being 22 and being on my own in a big city. My boyfriend knows how much I drink, but given it's a new relationship, he doesn't know that this drinking was going on long before he was in the picture. My drinking has gotten me into some pretty scary situations too. A DUI, a one vehicle accident, a very close call on another car accident, I've injured myself drunk more times than I can count, sometimes even requiring hospitalization. I've lost jobs, passed out on the side of the road covered in vomit, made horrible decisions and quite frankly am lucky I made it past that. In fact, those instances were all 6+ months in the past, so I suppose I have already made some progress in not being as self destructive.
I have gone 36 hours without a drink. Although there's a super duper strong craving, I haven't experienced much withdrawal, which I was certain I would. The only thing I need to figure out is where to go from here. Am I a party girl who let things get out of hand? Have I relied too heavily on escapism after some personal turmoil this past year? Am I an alcoholic? I really have no answers and so many questions. I feel empowered that I have gone 36 hours without a drink, but nothing would be nicer than a cold one right now. This was so hard to write.
Lovin Life
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Vancouver island
Posts: 16
Hi KatieBug
Well congrats on 36 hrs. I'm here for a different adiction but I was a heavy drinker for a very long time. I finally quit at 35 and I am now 43. For the last year it was every night till I passed out. I personally quit cold turkey and went through DTs for two days then I was fine. I am not the person to comment on alcoholism but l don't think you should think about being a social drinker I think you should just put alcohol in your past and keep it there. Good luck and you will find alot of help on here from more experienced people than myself.
Well congrats on 36 hrs. I'm here for a different adiction but I was a heavy drinker for a very long time. I finally quit at 35 and I am now 43. For the last year it was every night till I passed out. I personally quit cold turkey and went through DTs for two days then I was fine. I am not the person to comment on alcoholism but l don't think you should think about being a social drinker I think you should just put alcohol in your past and keep it there. Good luck and you will find alot of help on here from more experienced people than myself.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 154
Hi Katie, Congratulations on 36 hours and for having the maturity to be honest with yourself about your drinking. I can't say whether or not you are an alcoholic, but you certainly have suffered as a result of your drinking.
Have you thought about trying to go a month without drinking and see how you feel after that?
Good luck and welcome to SR.
Have you thought about trying to go a month without drinking and see how you feel after that?
Good luck and welcome to SR.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Welcome, Katie. This is a tough one. "Alcoholic" is a scary sounding word, and it's not always clear what it means or who is one. To me you either have a drinking problem or you don't. If you're anxious and worried about your drinking, that's a problem. Perhaps the best indicator is negative consequences. You're engaging in risky behavior, having accidents, injuries, DUIs, etc. The label isn't the issue so much as the behavior.
Maybe try to stop for a while? See how you feel. If you have trouble going a month or two without a drink that in and of itself is a bad sign. Normal drinkers don't have to make any effort to drink normally but drunks do.
Since this is a recovery forum most of us will probably say you should stop. And maybe you should. There's no reason to keep going trying to see how low the bottom is. On the other hand, Maslow said that when your only tool is a hammer all the problems start to look like nails. Not everyone that is drinking too much is an alcoholic.
So I guess my default position is for sobriety but it depends. You "need" booze to function, you're getting injured and suffering legal consequences, etc. You need to do something different, that's for sure.
Good to have you at SR, Katie.
Maybe try to stop for a while? See how you feel. If you have trouble going a month or two without a drink that in and of itself is a bad sign. Normal drinkers don't have to make any effort to drink normally but drunks do.
Since this is a recovery forum most of us will probably say you should stop. And maybe you should. There's no reason to keep going trying to see how low the bottom is. On the other hand, Maslow said that when your only tool is a hammer all the problems start to look like nails. Not everyone that is drinking too much is an alcoholic.
So I guess my default position is for sobriety but it depends. You "need" booze to function, you're getting injured and suffering legal consequences, etc. You need to do something different, that's for sure.
Good to have you at SR, Katie.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome to the Forum Katie!! 
I don't get too much into the terminology of "alcoholic" etc, but instead view things as if alcohol is causing problems in life then it's time to make a few changes, it keeps things nice and simple as to what the answer to the problem is regardless of age, comparisons with others etc etc
You'll find loads of support here on SR!! Great to have you onboard!!
I don't get too much into the terminology of "alcoholic" etc, but instead view things as if alcohol is causing problems in life then it's time to make a few changes, it keeps things nice and simple as to what the answer to the problem is regardless of age, comparisons with others etc etc
You'll find loads of support here on SR!! Great to have you onboard!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 31
I went from a "normal" drinker to a fifth of vodka a day easily in four years and went through horrible withdrawals. Don't let your age fool you. Feel blessed that you haven't suffered much and look forward, not back.
Take care!
Take care!
Marchia in Aeternum
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,094
I agree with the above thought that you should try a month abstinent. If you get through that without problems you can try a glass of wine with a meal. If that, or any, glass of wine leads to another binge then you probably have a problem.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: CA
Posts: 176
Hi Katie, welcome and thank you for sharing your story. For many years when I was younger, I periodically wondered if I was an alcoholic, but that wondering didn't do much to stop me from drinking. I'm 38 now and I still don't like the term "alcoholic", but I know I have a problem. It took me a while, but I've finally come to the conclusion that it's a real problem and not just an idea I need to passively wonder about.
It's my opinion though that whether we're an alcoholic (or have a problem with alcohol) is up to each individual to determine. I can sit here and say there are troubling signs given what you've told us, but at the end of the day you know yourself best and need to decide for yourself. I have a therapist that had been telling me for years that I have a problem, but I didn't stop until I decided that I need to.
Posting here and reading other people's stories can help. Glad you found us!
It's my opinion though that whether we're an alcoholic (or have a problem with alcohol) is up to each individual to determine. I can sit here and say there are troubling signs given what you've told us, but at the end of the day you know yourself best and need to decide for yourself. I have a therapist that had been telling me for years that I have a problem, but I didn't stop until I decided that I need to.
Posting here and reading other people's stories can help. Glad you found us!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Dracut,MA
Posts: 78
Hi Katie,
The fact that you are here tells me you realize you have a problem. Although I hate seeing young people with serious addictions, I admire the fact that they acknowledge and realize that they do indeed have a problem at an early age. Realizing the problem is the first and most important step in recovery. I am 49, and trust me, you don't want to keep going on like that. Alcoholism is extremely progressive and ALWAYS gets worse.
Tame this beast before is tears you up from the inside out.
Best wishes,
Terry
The fact that you are here tells me you realize you have a problem. Although I hate seeing young people with serious addictions, I admire the fact that they acknowledge and realize that they do indeed have a problem at an early age. Realizing the problem is the first and most important step in recovery. I am 49, and trust me, you don't want to keep going on like that. Alcoholism is extremely progressive and ALWAYS gets worse.
Tame this beast before is tears you up from the inside out.
Best wishes,
Terry
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Telford, PA
Posts: 37
Hi Katie,
I agree with all of the above! God bless you! You have such insight and I hope that you will listen to that little voice inside of you! I wish I had at 22. I am now 49, 7 days sober, and looking back on many regrets. Fortunately, I am also looking ahead! Best of luck to you! ❤️
I agree with all of the above! God bless you! You have such insight and I hope that you will listen to that little voice inside of you! I wish I had at 22. I am now 49, 7 days sober, and looking back on many regrets. Fortunately, I am also looking ahead! Best of luck to you! ❤️
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi. With a lot of years of “in house” observation and confirmation by others, denial is the biggest cause of failure in the goal of sobriety. I know first hand as some of my signposts were like yours. Good suggestions regarding abstinence for 30-90 days. That can be an eye opener showing which path is safe. Listening with an open mind at some open AA neetingS can be quite informative also along with reading posts on these forums.
BE WELL
BE WELL
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 2
Thank you all so much for your kind responses! Maybe I do need to approach this a different way.. not get caught up in labels, and set goals and see if I can reach them. I also want to be practical and realistic in my expectations. I feel as though someone telling you that at 22 you should quit drinking forever is like somebody telling you that you can never have pizza again. My goal right now is to test myself and see if I can be a "normal" drinker. Im 48 hours in now and not feeling so bad. You guys really are great!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Wales UK
Posts: 859
Katie , None of us are normal drinkers , or we wouldn't be here.
Stay here and commit to not drinking and re evaluating life and alcohol it isn't easy but doing it now would be an amazing gift so early on.
John
Stay here and commit to not drinking and re evaluating life and alcohol it isn't easy but doing it now would be an amazing gift so early on.
John
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Welcome to the forum! From your descriptive first post, I'd not take away that you are going to be a "normal" drinker. The blackouts alone are red flags for alcoholism. I've been where you are, the DUI, the hospitalization, etc. I started to get sober at age 25 and it took me 10 years to finally make it stick, and to accept that all along I was drinking alcoholically. I hope it doesn't take you ten more years. Good luck!
Lovin Life
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Vancouver island
Posts: 16
Katie
I have to laugh at the pizza comment. But in all seriousness please consider what everyone else and myself are saying and put alcohol behind you. I do understand being 22 and still wanting to "party" but you can still have fun without drinking. Good luck and keep posting and reading it really does help.
I have to laugh at the pizza comment. But in all seriousness please consider what everyone else and myself are saying and put alcohol behind you. I do understand being 22 and still wanting to "party" but you can still have fun without drinking. Good luck and keep posting and reading it really does help.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,491
Originally Posted by KatieBug 
I still am not sure that I'm an alcoholic.
It's up to you to decide whether or not you are an alcoholic. But remember it's just a label. How do you feel when you drink? Can you stop after one or to drinks? Do you change when you drink? These are signs of alcoholism.
If you are looking for support, we are here for you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 9
Congrats on 36 hours! Have you ever considered going to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting? I am also 22 and have 5 days sober.
I too have trouble believing I am an alcoholic but, I am coming to terms and accepting my life is unmanageable when I choose to drink. I highly recommend you go to an AA meeting, it won't hurt... It just might be a little uncomfortable at first. You may be surprised.
I too have trouble believing I am an alcoholic but, I am coming to terms and accepting my life is unmanageable when I choose to drink. I highly recommend you go to an AA meeting, it won't hurt... It just might be a little uncomfortable at first. You may be surprised.
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,662
Hi Katie, welcome to SR. I would've like to have been a sensible drinker, glass of wine with lunch, an odd beer here and there but for me it was never enough until I passed out on sofa with it. It wasn't always that bad but got considerably worse the longer I drank.
Hope you stick around, there's lots of help and support here for you.
Hope you stick around, there's lots of help and support here for you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: South Dakota, USA
Posts: 1,429
Hi Katie. Welcome. Maybe pretend you weren't the author of that first post and re-read it as if someone else wrote it. From my perspective, it certainly sounds as though you may have an issue with alcohol.
For me and my drinking, the good times kept getting further and further apart, and the bad times kept getting closer and closer together. I think most of us find that to be true. I got sober at 28 and am now 33. I too thought I was "too young" at 28 to be an alcoholic. Now, I am so grateful I realized it as young as I did. God willing, I have a full sober life ahead of me. Glad I didn't waste any more years as a drunk.
I hope you can find something that works for you. Keep posting and best wishes.
For me and my drinking, the good times kept getting further and further apart, and the bad times kept getting closer and closer together. I think most of us find that to be true. I got sober at 28 and am now 33. I too thought I was "too young" at 28 to be an alcoholic. Now, I am so grateful I realized it as young as I did. God willing, I have a full sober life ahead of me. Glad I didn't waste any more years as a drunk.
I hope you can find something that works for you. Keep posting and best wishes.
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