Lost hope
 

I have lost all hope.

I had a relapse on Tuesday,and now my parents keep calling and saying that they will have to put me in a home.

I just want to get some sleep.

Please help me.

tetra, have you been to rehab? How have you tried to stay sober? Do you live with your parents?

Love from Lenina

Tetra <hugs>

I'm sorry that you are having such a tough time.

Why do they want to put you in a home?

Hi Tetra

I understand that your parents are worried about you, but they're getting overwrought IMO.

You are an adult. They cannot do anything to you that you don't want them to do.

You slipped...but now you're back sober.
Do you still have a counsellor?

It might be a good time to talk to them?

D

Tetra...I have been following your story for a while. I hope I'm not speaking out of turn here, but to me it appears you have 2 quite separate issues in your life which need addressing, both of which are holding you back from being the woman you deserve to be.

One is your alcoholism and the other is your relationship with your parents...in particular with your Mother.

It is unhelpful in the least for you to be worrying about being put in a home. I can understand if they asked you to leave their home, that is their choice, but to threaten you with being put somewhere against your wishes is threatening and also completely impossible. You are a woman in your 30s, is that right? You have a right to come and go as you please.

Are you still seeing your counsellor? I would go and talk this over with him/her and hand in hand with addressing your alcoholism, work on making a separation away from them.

Forgive me if I've overstepped the mark, your family circumstances are nothing to do with me. But I fear you are trapped in the most unhealthy of situations which is compounding your drinking issues.

Jen x

You are an adult woman, they can't "put" you anywhere if you don't choose to go.

However, getting away from your parents to a sober living situation like we have in the states might actually be helpful.
Your parents, especially your mother, seem to be over the top in making you feel guilty and bad about your drinking.

It was a short relapse.
Don't feel hopeless, but maybe you should look into getting somewhere on your own if they are going to threaten and scare you like this.

Tetra, this isn't healthy treatment by them of you from what I can tell.
You are sober now. That's what is important.

What kind of home are they saying they are going to put you in? Although it is hard to do if you are overage,it can happen. My family had me put in a mental institution and cut lots of corners to do it,because they were friends with the judge. I'm sorry you are going through this..it seems as if your parents are part of the problem. Mine sure were. Well not my dad, may he r.i.p. but my mom and sister. My dad would have not let it happen. My advice would be to stand your ground and don't let them brainwash you.

I'm so sorry that happened to you autumn - Tetra is not in the US tho.

I think it's important not to scare folks.

I stand by my statement that a fully functioning adult, who is no danger to themselves or others, could not ordinarily be involuntarily committed.

D

Hi Tetra :) I'm clueless as to what your parents mean by 'a home' but if they mean a Psychiatric unit, then there are not enough of those, for people who are desperately begging their Doctors for help, so I wouldn't worry ;)

Tetra,

You can do this, It's Friday morning in Ireland and this all happened back on Tuesday, if someone had of told you 8 months ago that you would have had only 1 drink in 8 months would you have thought they were crazy? or if someone had said you'll be sitting with 8 months Sober, would you have been proud of yourself?

The horse hasn't bolted in anyway, you should be very proud of what you have achieved, a slip doesn't mean that all the things you've learned about life and yourself over the last 8 months suddenly disappears, it's a blip on the learning curve of Sobriety, but the journey continues on.

It's like driving to Dublin from Galway and stopping off at a service station at Athlone, the journey continues on!!

I know it's difficult, but try to not let what your parents say annoy you or make you anxious, easier said than done though, right? but seriously chalk this week off as done and dusted and look ahead to the next 8 months and beyond.

There's always hope Tetra, SR is full of it amongst the threads, I know you can do this and come through it!!

There are people struggling to manage only 24hrs and your're already nearly back at 3 Days, that right there is hope!! :grouphug:

Tetra

It may be time to seek alternative support than your parents. Counselling, AA or whatever support groups are near you. Reach out now !

Stay strong and calm. Its your decision as to what happens and no one can take that away from you

Don't give up hope, Tetra! You lost a battle not the war. You shouldn't give up on yourself. Work with a counselor, look into treatment, etc. Don't let your family bully you (if I'm understanding the situation correctly), just understand that they don't know what to do, either.

My father just cried on the phone and said he wants to cut the holiday short. My mother said "of course they can put me in a home for my own safety".

I just want to go to sleep and never wake up.

I'm sorry Tetra and with respect, your Mam is talking out of the wrong orifice on this one.

Dee,I'm sorry I wasn't trying to scare Tetra.

Tetra,I have other mental issues going on.Maybe even if they weren't friends with the judge they would of still committed me. I was smoking pot heavily at the time and it was also during 9/11. Maybe I was a harm to myself. Never to others tho.

I'm sorry you are feeling down. I hope everything gets better.

You're not at risk to yourself or to anyone else Tetra, and your mother doesn't get to make that call.

A medical professional gets to make that judgement, and considering you've been seeing a therapist/counsellor etc then they'll probably be the first to have their say, and over the last 8 months they will agree that there is no issue of safety with regards yourself or to others.

It's a non starter in my opinion!!

Tetra, im feeling your pain :cries3:
Have you thought about visiting the docs? It sounds like you need extra support around you and maybe something to lift you out of this depression. The last time I got drunk was in front of my parents, my dad cried his eyes out. I feel so ashamed about it. The only way I can make amends is to stay sober. You can too. They are worried because you're their daughter but maybe sitting down and telling them their approach is having a negative effect on your well being and recovery will help. Look into rehab too. It may help to not answer the phone for a few days but text to assure them you're ok. Be proactive and don't hide away from the world, you can do this.

Hi Tetra, I don't know you or your story so I can't comment on your situation with your parents, but I do want to say hang in there! At my lowest points, I felt like I was at the bottom of the deepest pit imaginable and I'd look up and think, "There's no way I'm getting out of here, so what's the point?" I thought about giving up, but there was a part deep inside that wouldn't let me. Because you're here asking for help, I know you have it too. Despite feeling hopeless, a part of you wants to fight and claw your way up, and I'm here to tell you that you can.

Also, remember that it doesn't matter if you fall a hundred times, as long as you get up a hundred and one. Don't let your relapses stop you from getting up again.

Has your mother ever been wrong before?

You were sober for 8 months. That time wasn't wasted. You learned something about staying sober during that time. Find what it was and build on it.

You can do this!