Well, it arrived. Day 60. I woke up in a funk. Feeling terribly restless.
The last 2 months have been a whirlwind to say the least, it's incredible how much can happen and change in such a short amount of time (in the grand scheme of things)
In 60 days since my 2nd DUI I have managed to:
*check into detox for a week
*come clean with my employer and throw my cards on the table
*come back to work
*start to repair my relationship with my BF
*repair my relationship with my parents
*go to court, step up and take responsibility for my dumba$$ actions and have started my jail time (4 more weekends to go!!)
*start personal counselling to drag these darned skeletons out of the closet
*I start seeing my probation officer end of the month
*financially tapped from lawyers fee and cost of repairing the BF's car I damaged
I am exhausted.
BUT am grateful that despite all this, I have not drank. Sure, the fleeting thought arises, but right after that thought, I recall the damage I have done and my last detox. That kicks that thought out very quickly.
I'm feeling really ...hrm....I don't know the word...Lost.
Right now, jail is enough to keep my arse sober. The fact I am on a short leash with work and personal relationships is helping.
But I know I need a plan and I am so mentally, physically, emotionally tired I am just struggling with making a proper plan. I'm hoping that once this legal crap is done (come on August 8th!!!) I can finally relax a bit and really sit down and start focussing on THE PLAN.
anyways - sorry for rambling....this place has been a HUGE HUGE help in getting me though the last 60 days. I find everyday, I read something from someone that just whacks me upside the face.