Feel
 

Feel possessed lately. Wanting to quit but don't know how or ever. My life has become very unfulfilling lately. Quitting alcohol is so hard. I feel I have no time for myself to improve. Lost in a sea of unhappiness.

So sorry to hear you are in this dark place that so many of us have come to know so well. This site has been an inspiration to me...to see those who have come into the light. It is there and you can reach it. Many here will have good advice. I'm only on day 2, but I hold you in my thoughts. Know that you have meaning and are worth so much more. :grouphug:

I found that alcohol was actually the cause of most of my problems, not the solution. Hope you can find the strength to give it a honest try, and we're here to help if you need it.

Thank you for your positive words! I guess I'm not trying hard enough. Feel like I need a new life. Maybe I'm just depressed ? Midlife crisis? But I know the booze doesn't help.

You can do this, small steps, don't drink today and that's Day 1 and go from there!! :)

Not drinking today. For sure. It's a start.

a new comer came to a meeting last night half drunk and in a desperate state of unhappiness, i could see that blank look in his eyes, and how sad his life is
i wish i had a magic wand and could take it all away for anyone but sadly its not going to happen that way
we have to have the pain to make any sort of gain but he so reminded me of me

take it one day at a time is how i did it and i got to aa meetings day and night as it was the only place i felt safe in
i was lucky to have such great memebers of aa around me whos only interest was to help me, they didnt push anything down my throat or tell me how to do it they just said keep coming back and dont pick up the first drink

so thats what i had to start to practice doing
when i would be alone in my flat was the hard times were i would have my head telling me how bad i was and how i was full of self pity for how my life ended up

so i had to find things to do daily to fill up my empty time as i learned these times was when i was under attack
clean my flat, clean my shoes, go for a walk, go to bed and try to sleep the time away anything at all
i had no money and no job so i had all the time in the world to think in my head and the only freedom i found was getting to the next aa meeting

it really did save my life i can see that today 10 years on and i have so much in my life today than i ever thought i would have back then,
all because of the wisdom these aa people have its just amazing
and today i can help others who were just like me when i first came in

of coures there is more to thing than just what i had to do but thats what i had to do right at the start its all i could do and it worked
later on i got a sponor and did the steps which helped me but i had to be ready for them and that took me 2 years before i even started them

but what i didnt know was the very first day i walked into aa i had taken step one and also found myself a high power that could save me from drinking
but again i didnt know it back then and i came to see it much later on

good luck to you

Sorry you are unhappy. I imagine that is directly related to your drinking. You say you don't have time to improve yourself...but you have the time to drink?

If you have the time to drink. you have the time to not drink and the time do whatever it takes to support that decision.

It is directly related to my drinking. And I know this. That's what's messed up about being addicted to something. Logically I know it's not right for me but do it anyway. It's crazy. Like a smoker with a bad cough that can't give up cigarettes.

You are not alone arbor8, I feel the same way but I am trying to feel better. Good luck.:)

Day two and feeling good. It takes longer to fall asleep sober. But the dreams and quality of sleep are soooo much better :)

I'm glad you're back with us arbor - great decision :)

D

I guarantee you that your overall optimism on life will keep improving as you pack more sober time.

One things to be careful of is that after a while you will start to feel complacent, and start thinking that you can have a couple of drinks.
If you are an Alcoholic like me, the above will throw you right back in the rabbit hole.

Good luck!

Yes complacency. I know the feeling. Three weeks in and it creeps on in. Which is how I slowly get back into the cycle. One or two here and there won't hurt. But it always does eventually.

I feel today that I'm really starting to recognize situations that are huge triggers for me. Places where I've always felt very comfortable to drink however much I wanted. It's those that I should avoid but cannot all the time. I just have to hold firm and relax. Because that is what I really want.