Sobertaurus

Sober 2 days now. Just so sick of this crap and feeling pretty demoralized. Read in an old post belonging to somebody that you can give up everything for one thing or give up one thing for everything. That resonated with me. I want this so badly. I need to take care of my health. Had major scheduled dental work yesterday and suffered through the whole thing with a massive hangover. I couldn't stop asking myself, WTH????? What were you thinking? I am successful I so many other areas of my life but in this area I feel like such a failure, and it is bleeding into other areas as well.

Got the schedule for all the AA meetings around here. It sounds foolish, but I'm embarrassed to go until my husband works late one night. He doesn't get it and doesn't understand or accept that it is a problem, just that I need more willpower. He is supposed to work late tomorrow night, and I think it will be my first meeting.

I tell myself, isn't it more embarrassing to be a drunk fool than to go to AA? Problem is that with my family and friends being a drunk fool is more accepted than AA. Need another doctor who I can meet with confidentiality since one of my best friends is an employee in my doctors office and she reads files as they come through.

Oh my, guess I'm just rambling. I realize I don't need all the answers right now, just to take it one day at a time, one hour at a time. Maybe in AA I ca get a recommendation for a local doctor who is sympathetic to working with alcoholics.

Thanks for listening to me vent.

trachemys

You and me both, friend.

Welcome to 24/7/365 support.

ForgetfulKevin

Hi, ST

I think most doctors would be willing, maybe even happy or delighted to work with someone who is ready to quit drinking. They probably see too many people every day who are ruining or have ruined their health with alcohol, but who won't make any changes, and I'm sure that must be frustrating for the doctors.

Best wishes for your recovery,

K

ScottFromWI

Welcome SoberT. Your husband may never understand, but have you specifically said that you would like to go to some meetings? It's your choice to make,not his. Regarding your friend at the doctors office, I'd honestly not only find a different office but make sure the doctor knows he has an employee that's violating FERPA laws. Most doctors are very supportive of those trying to quit - they've seen the wrong end of it too many times and someone taking proactive measures to quit is commendable.

fini

Oh my, guess I'm just rambling. I realize I don't need all the answers right now, just to take it one day at a time, one hour at a time. Maybe in AA I ca get a recommendation for a local doctor who is sympathetic to working with alcoholics.

ramble away, st, those are good realizations!
and congrats on the two days and going for it!