It took me fifteen years to quit so I can't buy that more relapse means a lesser chance of lasting success.

I strongly believe if you still have faculties enough to operate a keyboard and participate in this online forum you have every chance in the world of quitting - and as much chance as anyone else.

D

I read something once from someone who is an alcoholic. She mentioned that, while she was trying to get sober, she had a lot of sober friends who thought they had found loopholes in their drinking and so discontinued their sobriety--and they all ended up shooting themselves.

I don't mean to be a downer. But I carry that with me, and reread her words a lot when I'm trying to stay sober. I guess I want to be the exception. And even though I don't know those people she mentions, I feel like they are my friends, in some way.

She is still sober.

Does the number of relapses decrease the chance of permanent recovery?
No, unless you don't make it back to recovery or end up 6 feet under which happened to a friend of mine who drank after a few years sober :(

I agree that you can have as many relapse as it takes to succeed but I also believe that those relapse will somehow make it more difficult to achieve sobriety. With each relapse a bit of confidence is taken away from you, you begin to doubt that you can achieve your goal.

But, who am I to say.....I haven't relapsed :)

( I used to have problems with the spelling relaps / relapse
These past few weeks I have seen it so much it is sketched in my brain lol)

I'm not making fun of anyone, any beliefs, anything.....just trying to put a post on the lighter side :)

Have a great evening everyone

The more I read, the more confused I get. Because lots of people believe it is not a choice, I think it is. Is that what you are saying or no? :)

I don't believe we choose to be alcoholics, however, I believe drinking or not drinking is a choice.

I like getting drunk and I won't deny it. Once I start drinking I know I won't stop. So the thing I have to do is not take that first drink. Taking that first drink is a choice. Deciding to stay sober today, is a choice. Make sense?

[QUOTE=Serper2014;4769400] Really sorry, That I offended you in some way. Listen I'm French so it's often hard to explain what I mean.

It was a personal thing. Every time I came back with the tail between my legs I appreciated the kindness, really did. And I would never say anything to hurt someone or discourage. I have over 3000 posts and I doubt you could see a mean thing in me or in my posts.

I remember on one occasion that I specifically asked people to not be easy one me and be gentle. Trying to find my thread.. But anyway, that is just the way I am, and felt when I came back in my last relapse. I felt accountable to myself to not just come back and say I relapsed. I lurked, dragged myself to AA drunk.

I never relapsed just for a relapse, I always added something to try. I did AVRT, Smart recovery, inpatient etc.

One of my thread was even called change of plans.

Suffice to say that I am accountable to myself. I want this thing out of my life and I am not playing a game with my addiction. I hate it, I am sick but am working at MY recovery. And at the end I am winning this, not a doubt in my mind. (Reason for the Avatar btw)

I am Now in AA, I feel this is my place finally. So the message was that I PERSONALLY feel that just a relapse without learning something, the triggers, or trying to add something to MY recovery would be pointless.

I do respect tho and always encourage the ones that are not like me. Everyone is different, and at different places in their journey.

So sorry if I disappointed you, but this who I am.

No hard feelings I hope :c014:

Sunshine14 said something like this too. For me, each time I have drank after being abstinent the result has been worse in some way. In the last 5 years when I have drank it has not been for pleasure it has been to make myself not feel pain. If I actually get drunk it is not fun. I used to take benedryl before drinking so that I would fall asleep before getting drunk.

This last time that I drank, I was sick feeling into the 3rd day. So, for me, it is not as if I have to keep myself from the joy of drinking.

I expect that there are people that can somehow maintain some situation they are in and drink all the time. But, in general, based on myself, not everyone that relapses over and over is less likely to stop.

I know if me and a multiple relapser were put on a desert island we'd both be sober.

How many people do i see heading off for re-hab , they come out sober and then life happens at them …
Obviously this proves if the circumstances are right they can be sober .

It's just bringing about those right things into ones life can be very difficult, doubly so if we're using … but it's not impossible .

Change can happen , there are several here, of that are living proof .

m

I think that one of the things that keeps me sober is the horrifying thought of what's going to happen if I ever go out. I won't be back and it will be the end of me. If I ever tip that bottle to my lips again and feel that first wave there will be no return and I know myself and my present situation well enough to be honest about that.

I am partly sober because my life is better because I don't drink. I am also partly sober because I am well aware of the tragedy that will ensue if I go there.

Some might say "don't be so hard on yourself if that happens." On the contrary, it's being hard and realistic that's it's all or nothing and the fear that keeps me mindful and away from that first drink. It won't be pretty. I refuse to return to the abyss.

If I spent one moment entertaining the thought that if I drank I could just start over and not be so hard on myself I wouldn't be here today.

i would say each time anyone relapses means there taking a chance they will still be alive the next day, people give up then go back on it assuming they can simply give it up again
when i came to aa i was beaten there was no ideas left in my head that one day i can drink again
i knew in my heart i couldnt do this again anymore and i had progressed to drinking every day 24 / 7 throwing up in buckets to get a another drink down me

how did i end up in this mess ? i lost everything dear to me in life all my money the lot

why couldnt i have found help and listened to that help ?
because i had to be beaten is why the drink had to beat me up so bad
i know one thing i can not dare drink again as if i do i dont think i could ever have another recovery in me as to go back to that mess again

of course if this sort of thing hasnt happend to you yet and your drink problem just means you stay at home on a pc and have a job but you drink way to much then i guess your not going to believe that this sort of thing can happen to you as your not that bad yet
i guess it will take as many relapses as its going to take is the answer
people will either drink themselves into the gave or finally feel the pain enough that there ready to get help and work the help there given honestly

Even though relapse was part of my vocabulary in the beginning the word scares me after many years of not having a desire to drink. The facts are that there is no guarantee we can get sober again nor can the outcome be a wanted one. I suggest going to some OPEN AA meetingS and hearing the results of relapses. Not nice in the majority of cases. I recently read that a relapse for someone with 10 years of sobriety has about a 3% chance of recovery.

BE WELL

Jeepers! I hope not or I'm doomed.

i was doomed to when i had my job and money and kids and family
if only i could of stopped drinking when i still had them

i didnt listen and thought it would never happen to me, like many people do they dont see there drinking or how they are sober as a problem in life
its the world thats wrong as it doesnt do things the way i like them to be.

no wonder with this attidude in life that i had i wouldnt listen to anyone i know best and it might of happened to others but not me as i am different etc

well i am an alcoholic my problem was the booze, i am no different than all the other millions of alcoholics in the world many of whom had the wisdom to quit drinking while they still had there familys and kids and jobs etc
i just wish i was one of them instead of the ones who lost it all

you are only doomed if you feel that way. Think positive.

Yogi Berra once said, "Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical."

Same goes with addiction. If you think you are doomed, you are doomed. If you know you can recover from this, YOU CAN.

I've been sober for about for about 115 days, and that percentage IS SCARY

Guys the only statistic I worry about is my own - 100% no drink or drugs since 2007.

If you want recovery, and you work for it, you'll get it :)

D

Statistics are always open to debate, who measures or how is this stuff measured anyways? . . . in the end everyone has the ability no matter how many relapses to find it within themselves to be Sober.

To use yourself Dee, if I may ;), 15yrs is pretty impressive and inspiring!! :)

If I thought my chances faded with each relapse I would have quit trying ages ago, yet my resolve seems to get a little stronger each time. The reason is each time I relapse, I learn a little more. Does it disappoint me when I do? Yes. Does it make me lose hope that I will finally get it and make it stick? No. It never has and it never will.

Looking back in retrospect, I see my prior sober stints as "working up to" the final one where I made a firm commitment to stay sober no matter what. Whether those sober stints helped or not, they appear to have been evidence for me that I was on the right track, working towards the point in time where I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink. And if I ever do drink again, though I have every intention of remaining sober, I hope and believe that I will realize the grave danger and drop it like a hot rock, picking back up and recommitting myself to sobriety. So I really don't believe that the more relapses one has indicates less of a chance at getting and staying sober. I think we have just as much freedom of choice at the beginning as we do right up until the end.