222 days sober
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 500
222 days sober
Just wanted to check in. I have to say the beginning of the warm weather was a bit difficult to adjust to being sober since I can only remember summertime sitting in the backyard drinking wine and smoking. I think it is just an association thing. Sobriety.... such a slow crawl to regular life, not what I expected at all but it's slowly becoming the new normal.
Any time I even have an inkling of a craving I can just think back to hiding bottles in my sewing box downstairs... I found one about a month ago and I have that bottle of Jim Beam sitting on my sewing table as a reminder of where I was a year ago. Without a shadow of a doubt I was in big trouble when I was drinking and I have so many memories to keep me in check. Not only that I have an entire family of alcoholics that I see occasionally to reinforce the fact that it's in our genetics so there is no turning back.
I still deal with excruciating anxiety that can be crippling at times and it's not easy without that quick fix I was used to. It really is a journey. Not at all what I had imagined.
Sorry I think I am only mentioning the struggles. The positives- Finally no more foggy brain! Well most of the time. I've lost 30lbs and fit back into all of my old clothes (be they outdated... they fit!) People have told me I look younger! My skin is clear. I brush my teeth now.. (Hhahaha sorry maybe TMI) No more waking up in a crazy panic over what I potentially could have said or done to hurt someone. I am much more present for my family and my friends. I can pick up the phone when someone calls in the evenings and have a conversation I can remember and be engaged in. Overall I feel I take care of myself better and I feel like I have more compassion now in general. I think as an addict I really was quite a detached, cynical, angry person. Actually I still have that but less.
One thing I am realizing, genetics aside, there were many reasons I drank and as a sober person I feel like I have to tackle each issue... kind of like chiselling away slowly at a pile of things I neglected for years and they are all still here to work through.
I have read a lot of posts that people say that they pray. It's strange but now I pray all of the time... to god? I don't know but I do and it really helps somehow. I am grateful to be sober.
Any time I even have an inkling of a craving I can just think back to hiding bottles in my sewing box downstairs... I found one about a month ago and I have that bottle of Jim Beam sitting on my sewing table as a reminder of where I was a year ago. Without a shadow of a doubt I was in big trouble when I was drinking and I have so many memories to keep me in check. Not only that I have an entire family of alcoholics that I see occasionally to reinforce the fact that it's in our genetics so there is no turning back.
I still deal with excruciating anxiety that can be crippling at times and it's not easy without that quick fix I was used to. It really is a journey. Not at all what I had imagined.
Sorry I think I am only mentioning the struggles. The positives- Finally no more foggy brain! Well most of the time. I've lost 30lbs and fit back into all of my old clothes (be they outdated... they fit!) People have told me I look younger! My skin is clear. I brush my teeth now.. (Hhahaha sorry maybe TMI) No more waking up in a crazy panic over what I potentially could have said or done to hurt someone. I am much more present for my family and my friends. I can pick up the phone when someone calls in the evenings and have a conversation I can remember and be engaged in. Overall I feel I take care of myself better and I feel like I have more compassion now in general. I think as an addict I really was quite a detached, cynical, angry person. Actually I still have that but less.
One thing I am realizing, genetics aside, there were many reasons I drank and as a sober person I feel like I have to tackle each issue... kind of like chiselling away slowly at a pile of things I neglected for years and they are all still here to work through.
I have read a lot of posts that people say that they pray. It's strange but now I pray all of the time... to god? I don't know but I do and it really helps somehow. I am grateful to be sober.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
222.... that's very cool. I recently passed 180 and had been looking forward to the one year milestone, but if you don't mind I'm going to borrow yours and start looking forward to it along the way. The triple twos... then the triple threes.... then a year!!!
I really appreciate your post and it reaffirmed my gratitude for the choice to live the path of sobriety. I can relate to everything you said!
Thank you
I really appreciate your post and it reaffirmed my gratitude for the choice to live the path of sobriety. I can relate to everything you said!
Thank you
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,558
Cusper - we're so proud of you. 222 is a wonderful number. You sound so filled with hope and optimism. Thanks for an uplifting post.
(Jealous of your 30 lb. weight loss though)
You sound so filled with hope and optimism. Thanks for an uplifting post.(Jealous of your 30 lb. weight loss though
)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 500
Thank you again! Hevyn you think so? When I reading the again I was afraid it sounded so complainy or discouraging for people just starting. Again I feel so grateful for all of the posts that people share on this site. It's so great to be able to meet people that can relate. I swear I am the only alchy amongsty friends (my family is a different story -they all still drink). But no one really gets it. When I read up on others stories I know I am in the right place .
.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,424
Congratulations cusper
I drank for 20 years - it took a while for me to find happiness and peace as a sober person - but it was a lot quicker than 20 years.
You sound good and honest...I think we got a pretty good deal Cusper
D
I drank for 20 years - it took a while for me to find happiness and peace as a sober person - but it was a lot quicker than 20 years.
You sound good and honest...I think we got a pretty good deal Cusper
D
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