freespirit86

Well i had almost two years sober, i dont honestly know what made me pick up that drink a few months back but i did, and i havent stopped since, its not everyday but may as well be. And like most and like my past once i pick up that first on, i drink until i cant buy anymore that night or i run out. I have not hit full bottom yet, and i dont want to, i cant, rock bottom this time i fear will be my grave. I am almost 28 years old but i have had this habit for most my life. I feel like i lost myself again, and this is scaring the heck out of me, because i fought so hard to find me.

Dee74

I'm sorry you're struggling again freespirit but I'm glad you made it back here
What kind of a plan do you have to stop, and stay stopped?

D

freespirit86

I dont yet, i dont know this is day three, for me, this was my first step, my second is reaching out to my family, and to the man i have. past that i am currently taking it minute by minute.

MythOfSisyphus

Welcome back, freespirit86! Wishing you well, just have to try again.

LoftyIdeals

Knowing why you picked up isnt as important as the fact that you have come to your senses and are here now and sober. This is hard. I did the same thing, but am back with 7 days today. Welcome back, freespirit.

MariahGayle

Glad you are here FreeSpirit!

HeadLump

Welcome back, freespirit You know you can do this - you've proved that beyond measure. Now you're back at day 3 and reaching out, you're already on your way. Take it one second at a time if you have to. It doesn't matter how you do it, just cling on. At 28, there's a whole new life and a whole new 'you' to discover and enjoy

PurpleKnight

Welcome back freespirit!!

freespirit86

Day two i am here! And it is so good to be back with you all, kicking myself in the butt for stopping. Thank you all so much for still being here and for all the people that have found this forum.

ScottFromWI

Congrats on day 2 freespirit. What did you do during those 2 sober years to keep from drinking? Did you have a formal plan at all? Whatever you did was certainly working for quite some time.

Bubovski

Welcome home!

jdooner

Welcome back...two years is a long time. You have to have some ideas on what worked or did not work. For me I am an addict, of which alcohol is one of my addictions. So when I look at sobriety periods I am often able to identify other addictions that took the place of the booze or drugs including behaviors. When you get a little time or maybe in these nights if you can't sleep think back about what worked and didn't.

SoberCAH

Glad you're back, amigo.

I am twice as old as you and I got sober when I was not much older than you are now.

It's been a good life - certainly better than the old life of drunkenness, blackouts, difficulty keeping jobs, and lost relationships.

freespirit86

Yes i do i just have to start practicing them all again, and that is a great idea, thank you. I have learned behaviors can lead to our addictions. Self analizing is a difficult task but it is one that i think is a must, thank you for reminding me of this.

freespirit86

Thank you, It is great to hear of those who have made it. Gives hope in these times/

bucolic

Keep fighting freespirit. I drank until I was 48 before I quit. Over 2 years sober now. You can have 20 more good sober years than I did. I'd give anything for that chance again. The stuff I missed from hangovers, nights in bars, and wasted money I don't even want to think about. Some of the best , youthful years of my life wasted.

Life is sooooo much better sober. Just never give up and if you fall again just get right back up. I can only dream about being sober and 30...you can live it!

freespirit86

I kept myself one my toes, i changed even the smallest detail down to the type of soda i drank, i contantly worked on the steps and wrote in a journal, though its hard i thought back to how bad it was when i was drinking and no matter what life threw at me sober it was much better. I talked with others kept my sobriety number one in my life above everything, because without it i would lose everything. Some days i was day to day but it got better and i starting feeling more in control of my life, until one day i noticed i was slacking off and the sad thing is, i didnt change it, i just kept slipping away from the steps and everything that was available to help me stay sober, until one day i stopped and bought that first drink. I do no that i must work on this for the rest of my life, because i have no power over this addiction. None whatsoever and if i stop, it creeps its way back into my life. I was sober my third day when i came back to SR, i am now day 5.

coraltint

Halfway to double digits!! Keep it up, man, welcome back.

Mizzuno

This can happen and its a learning experience. Today i was talking with a professional about the root problem behind the drinking. I was told that there is this part of me that seeks pleasure and also seeks to avoid negative emotions. Stress is a major trigger for me. So, with enough time and enough practice of realeasing the pain that i carry, by a certain exercise, i can learn to stop seeking out the one thing that helps me avoid negative emotions and also that false sense of happiness. This is the goal. I had obe year sobriety and i fell off the cliff a few months ago. We can do this. Im happy to see you back.

Anna

I'm glad you're doing well, Freespirit.