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Old 07-05-2014, 06:54 AM   #1 (permalink)
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I was wrong


I was reflecting back on the time I have been sober and thinking about how wrong I was about so many things. The scariest thing is I was positive I was right when in reality I was 100% wrong. Being wrong that often only shows me my solutions are the problem not the cure.

Today I have the ability to accept advice and give it an honest try even if I don't think it will work. Some of my classic blunders were.

I thought that all I had to do was quit drinking when in reality I had to change everything

I thought I could handle drinking situations. I couldn't

I thought I did not need a sobriety support network.

I thought I would master sobriety and move on with my life

I thought I did not need the help of others

I thought alcohol was the problem not a symptom of the real problems

I thought I could ignore the wreckage of the past

Anyone I disagreed with was wrong

I could lead the same life and simply not drink

If I had enough willpower I could not drink

I did not need a plan of recovery

When I was wrong enough times I started to learn to listen and listen to learn
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I've dealt with my ghosts and faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself


Came back to life 7.24.2009
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Old 07-05-2014, 07:02 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Thank you so much for this post. Going down the list...and yup, yup, yup...

I needed to read this today and make some major changes.
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Old 07-05-2014, 07:03 AM   #3 (permalink)
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What an amazing reflection. I found myself nodding my head at several of those points, I was going to highlight a few of them but in fact I agree with all of them.

I thought that all I had to do was quit drinking when in reality I had to change everything

Too true. I know that many of us felt the same way, I know I did. I'm glad we were wrong about that one, honestly. Thanks for the thoughtful share to start the weekend...
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Old 07-05-2014, 07:21 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Thank you so much MIR. To use an old AA saying (they hang around even if they are cliches because they mean something real!) 'The alcohol is in the bottle, the alcoholic is in my head'. It is there, warts and all, I am discovering, with or without alcohol.
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Old 07-05-2014, 07:50 AM   #5 (permalink)
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the only way i found out i was wrong was from pain : )
as i lived my old life but i just didnt drink, i went looking for a woman as that was missing from my life if i had one i am sure being sober would be more fun : )

how wrong was i ? it was just a short term fix like so many things i chased after were short term feel good fixes
when i got these things i still wasnt happy and soon lost them again or they became unimportant to me

i would feel the pain and then look at what i have done

thats why i beleive its a life times work to grow in the fellowship

pain will teach me if i am wrong or not

letting someone help me was huge for me as i would sort it on my own and i wouldnt want to trouble anyone

what that ment was i would sit at home and suffer in pain or feel lonely and isolated rather than call someone up like a sponsor
took me years to even do that and yet its one of the first things i was told to do : )

good post
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Old 07-05-2014, 07:59 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Wow! It's like you know me! LOL Thank you for the awesome reminders about the importance of our perceptions and willingness to listen and change.
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Old 07-05-2014, 08:01 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Thank you for your post, MI.
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Old 07-05-2014, 08:21 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Very helpful post MIR--thank you!
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All the study in the world - and all the subjective hierarchies - won't get people sober. . .

Only action can do that."


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Old 07-05-2014, 08:27 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Good post MIR. I especially like "I thought alcohol was the problem not a symptom of the real problems"

That's where all the work lies. And I simply could not get through all this work...alone. I NEED to know I'm not all alone in this..that I am not in fact, all that unique at all.
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Old 07-05-2014, 08:46 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Excellent post, MIR. Definitely much food for thought there
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Old 07-05-2014, 10:29 AM   #11 (permalink)
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This flags up that if I never had asked for advice or support and followed it I'd still be following my own thinking and still failing in my sobriety!!

Nice post!!
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Old 07-05-2014, 10:30 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Wonderful post MIR ... thanks for that! Every point you made rings true for me. Sobriety is a life-long journey and I learn so much every day.
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Old 07-05-2014, 10:32 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Amen to that. Thought the exact same things. Then I was *lucky* enough to get a crash course in addiction with the help of a 28-day inpatient. And this website. I remember saying, willpower is all it takes". Then some brazen woman put me in my place....I still didn't believe her. Now I do.
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