Waterfalls2014

I just got a phone call from a old friend. She had good intensions. She just wanted to see how I was doing. But... She was wasted. Trashed. And to be honest it got on my nerves. Trying to talk to her, with mostly silence. A few words here and there but lots of uncomfortableness. I'm wondering how I should have handled the situation? I was polite but obviously annoyed. Not that I'm a saint, and she didn't know what I'm doing now. But I know this is probably going to happen more often. I don't need another trigger to deal with. How should I handle this?

biminiblue

I don't talk to people on the phone that are wasted - beyond the first couple sentences. I used to talk to relapsers in AA, but I don't even do that any more.

I flat out tell them they are making no sense and we'll talk when they haven't been drinking.

LBrain

I never received a call from a drunk like that. I was on the other end a couple times though.

Waterfalls2014

I have too LBrain. I was probably being to harsh. In reality, it's not someone else's fault I can't be like them. Expecting not to have any contact with someone who's drunk ever is unrealistic this early in sobriety when all of my friends don't even know I'm not drinking. Self reflection, it's always a wake up call...

hokey

I just don't answer the phone when they call (thank goodness for caller-ID). There are 2 people in my life that tend to call me when they've been drinking, an old and dear friend and, unfortunately, my mother. I call them back in the morning when I know they're going to be sober. I know I been on the giving end of many of those phone calls in the past and I feel a tad bit guilty about not answering (especially when it's mom) but I don't need the trigger in my life. I always check my caller-ID before I pick up that phone.

Nuudawn

Kind of a good reminder of who we used to be. I was an infamous drunk dialer...but more so when I was younger. Letting the caller know that you are sober now and that you are finding the conversation difficult can't be a bad thing..can it?. And as another noted, letting them know you would be more than happy to continue the conversation another time when they were sober.

Raider

I'm with LBrain and NuuDawn. I was the drunk caller. Never remembered what I said, but the one I called sure did. Praying those days are long gone.

PurpleKnight

First sentence of "your drunk, go to bed, chat to you again when you're sober" . . .chances are she'll not remember the conversation so you can be as blunt and abrupt sounding as you like!!

applecake

I was a world class drunk dialer. I still marvel at how I could remember phone numbers and accurately dial them when my handwriting was virtually unintelligible.

Prolonging the phone call is enabling your friend, and it is painful to you. I think the kindest way to respond -- both to yourself and your friend -- is to gently end the call, quickly. Something like, "Suzie, I need to get back to what I was doing before you called. Why don't you get some sleep and we'll talk again tomorrow?" And then hang up.

This happened to me a couple of times, and I always knew why I was being let go. It was so much less humiliating, though, than the drunken phone calls that went on for hours, exhausting the recipient and usually resulting in my oversharing or causing a fight, yet not being able to remember what I said.

Carlotta

I just say: "call me when you are sober" and I hang up. I have no sense of social niceties when it comes to dealing with drunk people wasting my time LOL
Also if it happens often, consider getting the app Mr Number. You can block them in the evening when you know they will be wasted and send their calls and sms straight to voicemail (or to a hang up) then unblock them first thing in the morning. That's what I had to do with my best friend who is an alcoholic and LOVES to drunk dial.