Seriously!!!
 

Can't even make it passed 4 days. I wake up so angry at myself, hang over sucks and as day goes on my mind changes into stupid thoughts like "I can quit tomorrow, just one drink, ahh alcohol looks do good I so want a drink". I've been back and forth here for years. Don't get me wrong SR is amazing and I love knowing I can come back and be welcomed back. I'm just upset at myself and venting. I always get asked what I will do differently this time and I feel like I've tried everything. AA, changing environments, return to gym... Well it's day one again and I have a band meeting tonight. I've at least already informed them that I probably won't be drinking at it and they're cool. Thanks for listening. To all American friends Happy 4th of July,
Best,
Copperfield.

Copperfield, I'm glad you keep trying. It's not what you do that makes a difference, it's what you bring from the inside to what you do. As long as you're still carrying the old you around, nothing will work. When you're ready to give up on all your old attitudes and really try to look at life and yourself with an attitude of accepting that you can't drink and willingness to change, anything can work.

The "I probably won't drink" attitude suggests that you think drinking is somehow out of your control -- you might or you might not, you can't predict it. But picking up the first drink is totally in your control. Are you committed to not picking up the first drink? If you are, then you never have to have a hangover, regrets, or remorse again.

change "probably" into "will not"
and think of waking up sans hangover tomorrow! how glorious!!! :D

Thanks Courage and Jupiters. You're right and yes it is that one first drink and I'm in control of that! Will remember this tonight!

Don't give up! You can do this! I'm rooting for you!!!

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Probably will not drink verses absolutely will not drink. The choice is yours. Take today and think I'm going to say no so I can be happy, sober and feel good. You can do it. Best wishes!

Did you get a sponsor and work the steps? If you did maybe AA is not for you. If not you haven't tried AA.

Sobriety is not easy but it is possible with willingness and open mindedness.

No I didn't get a sponsor. I'm pretty shy person.

Keep going at it, you'll get there!! :)

Done everything? Only you know the level of effort you've really put into your recovery. Have you made the changes in your life you need to make to support your recovery? I see you are still in a band? Playing in bars where there is drinking can't be supportive of sobriety.

I am sorry to see you continue to struggle. You can end the day one cycle today, if you want to.

You asked, "What will I do differently? " This is where willingness is essential. We have to be willing to do anything to get sober. I had to live outside of my comfort zone for a very long time. Even today I know if I am complacent I am on my way to another drink so I push myself towards things that make me uncomfortable

Doggonecarl, many people play in bands and do not drink. I cannot stay away from alcohol completely, it is everywhere.

No person, place or thing causes anyone to drink.

It is the person's own hand and own mouth. If I don't touch the stuff there is no more fight. I just don't drink.

Please keep comments directed to the O/P.


Copperfield, you must keep trying and determine to not drink. 'Probably' should not be the word you use. This is hard and it takes a lot of motivation.

Yes I still play in bands. Music is my life and my career which I will not give up. I need to remember that when in bars and focus on not risking that first drink. And yes a sponsor would be something new for sure.

You can make it past day 4. Try something you've not tried before. Realize that you can do it. There are so many books out there to help, programs, meetings. Changing ways of coping, reactions to your environment... seeing new ways of looking at the same old things. When we get sober, we are forced out of our comfort zones. It's not going to feel natural or easy at first. It can be hard and sometimes painful. But it's well worth it. You CAN do it.

For me, there is a vast difference in perspective in whether you "want to quit drinking" or "you want sobriety".
I want sobriety more than I want to quit drinking...if that makes any sense. I do better when I focus on the "YES, I want sobriety" rather than "NO, I can't drink".

I am reaching, striving, working on and for sobriety cuz I wants what is in this "land". I am walking through the open door trying to earn my keep in this new place...

I am not perched on a chair looking sideways at that closed door wanting what I used to have. Been there, done that. That is not to say I won't look back over my shoulder from time to time. The work comes in bringing my eyes again back forward.

Hey nuudawn, that's a Great perdpective! Thank you for your comment.

Nuudawn, great post. I am much better at moving toward something positive than stopping something negative. The end result may be the same, but the former is much more a motivator for me.

I agree. Very well put, Nuudawn!

I LOVE that perspective!!!

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