Falcon351

Here I am, first day and I am excited to be giving up, I have been drinking lately not even liking it, just want to be drunk so I can go to sleep. I have given up before for over 3 months then I met my fiancé who drinks, started up drinking with him. I am going to stop forever, I want my life back, my memory my freedom. I want the anxiety to stop because alcohol makes my anxiety worse, actually I have anxiety due to drinking. How long till I feel like I don't want a drink, how long till I can go out for dinner and socialise without thinking of a glass of wine yet just look forward to the company and food

ForMeForThem

Welcome Falcon351! It takes time and making changes, but it does get easier.

Petecrab

Welcome. It certainly looks like you are ready to give up and I wish you the best of luck. It does get better and you will get your life back for sure.

Please use SR for support when you need it!

Good luck!

Falcon351

Thank you both, I have two functions on the weekend, thought I would start next week but there is always going to be something on. Excuse I would suggest. My fiancé is going for a liver biopsy, may be sorosis. He had a damaged liver as a child due to food poisoning plus he drinks. I will get strong first then hopefully he will follow me. I am doing this for me, if he can get some good out of it as well then that's a bonus.
Do you think 3-6 months down the track it will become the norm not to drink, won't think about it or am I looking 12 months? Thanks

Nonsensical

We are all different. It was normal for me to drink at home (daily). By not drinking at home daily it felt like the norm in about 2 months.

I would drink even more excessively when on business travel. I have only travelled a few times since getting sober, and that still feels a little abnormal to me - being in a hotel and not drinking. I've done it, though, so I have confidence it will eventually feel more normal.

Congratulations on your decision to pursue a sober life.

Petecrab

Its very easy for people to say 'il start next week' . You are doing it right, you want the change now, so starting now is the way to do it.

I found the norm to not drink at home came at about 3/4 months, was a bit longer if I ever had to go somewhere where alcohol was involved, that's only really just become normal to not drink and I am at 12 months.

Hopefully your fiancé will get something out of it to.

PC

trachemys

Hi Falcon. I can tell you what I've done.

I always had "standard" drinks I would automatically order at a business function. A Heineken, vodka-tonic, scotch-rocks. I just came up with new standards. Tonic and lime, an Arnold Palmer, "I'm parched. A big glass of ice water". Making it automatic makes it as natural as ordering "house red" and just as unremarkable to others.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Falcon!!

Gonnachange

Kudos for not delaying your start. As your wrote, there is always going to be something looming that one can use as an excuse to delay. You're doing it the right way!

ElleDee

Congratulations on making the decision to stay sober.

So what are you going to do different this time to help make it happen?

bookmaven

I'm at 94 days sober. I still think about having that glass of wine with dinner or a beer after work, not every day, but probably most days. I just remember to stay sober today. That's the only way I have been able to get this far. One 24 hour period at a time.

FreeOwl

I think it varies for everyone.... but I think from what I've seen, heard and experienced - maybe it never totally goes away.

That said, I crossed the 6 month mark recently and apart from the occasional nostalgic wandering thought or slight twinge of envy from my inner alcoholic - I really don't struggle with it.

I see a LOT more to be grateful and happy about in sobriety than I see in any vision of drinking. i'm able to see plenty of reasons to continue choosing sobriety and in the few instances that temptation or thoughts crop up - I am always glad I continue to choose sobriety. Those times pass quickly.

For me it took maybe 4-5 months to really get there, and it took actively remiding myself, reading others' stories here on SR. It took going to AA sometimes and it took reading the Big Book and it took focusing on the healthy and positive pursuits in life that I value and reminding myself how much of those I sacrifice when I choose to include alcohol in my life.

You can do it!

It does get easier.

Croissant

Welcome Falcon.

As everyone said, it's different for us all, when and how we think of alcohol.

I think what really changed is my reaction to the thought of alcohol - so instead of pining for it when out to dinner, I'd think, oh, thank goodness I won't have a stomach ache from drinking too much with all this rich food.

If you are really committed, You start to see the positives in being sober.

Falcon351

Very much a individual way of dealing with alcohol, I am really please of what I have achieved in 4 days. My best friend came over on Friday night and drank till 11.30 while I drank camomile tea, Saturday night out to dinner with friends, they drank wine and port I drank water, Sunday was a celebration for my finance/husband wine beer and bubbles everywhere I had one sip as a toast then gave the glass to my mum. I want my life back, not depending on wine to make me happy when in reality it starves me of happiness. Before wine I had more fun then when I found wine. I worry I will go back for one night in the future a weak moment then I have that weakness. Never want to go back.

Falcon351

Day eight tonight, no alcohol... Feeling empowered... No weight loss which is a disappointment

NightsWatch

Welcome Falcon! For me, it was kind of like changing a bad habit. I used to do the bulk of my problem drinking when I was alone, most nights of the week, so I always associated night time with drinking. It took about two months before I didn't automatically want to drink when it got dark. Most nights these days I don't think about it anymore, but that's not to say that cravings don't occasionally pop up unexpectedly. Habit wise, I don't think I've had as many occasions saying "no" during special events, so I still struggle when I go to parties or whatnot. Maybe I'll need to do that 60 times before it starts feeling normal to abstain.

Croissant

Uggggh, can so relate. I think half my will to go on was around losing weight when I stopped drinking!

Everyone's different...I didn't start losing weight til some months after.

Glad you are giving it a red hot go. Congrats on 8 days!

firstymer

Falcon, eight days is FANTASTIC. You are doing this. You really are. Stay strong. Understand that the original title of your thread "First day of the rest of my life" isn't just a phrase. It really is true. I know. I was where you are 11 months ago. And my life without alcohol is SO much better.

Keep doing what you are doing (except for that "taking a sip as a toast" thing - bad idea ) We are pulling for you.

Lola23

Same here. That wasn't my reason to quit, but I figured a month without the extra 1000+ calories per day has to make a difference! Not. Even. A. Budge.

Its cool though. Still worth it, yes??

Nuudawn

Welcome. In my mind, sobriety is a journey with no real destination. It is a way of life, that we are completely unaccustomed to in the beginning. There are many folks here who are aware of this new scenery and who can lend a hand. The longer you face life sober...the easier it gets. There are many discoveries. For me, it all starts with dealing with each situation at a time. Life gets so very small when alcohol is the tour guide...and then suddenly you are living in glorious technicolor. Drinking is almost like living in black and white Kansas...and then waking up in bright and colourful Oz. It can actually be a little frightening at first.

There is much support here. Welcome.