Stoogy

This recurring theme of will power not helping is a total nonsense in my opinion, never underestimate the power of the human mind, if people want or choose too drink they will regardless of whatever support they have in their lives.

Dee74

It takes a little time for that. It was 3 months for me before I noticed any real changes mburnsc.

It's not that sobriety makes our life any better anyway by itself - not beyond the obvious health and financial benefits - but it does give us a level ground to work on our problems from

D

sameer1974

u havenot become alcoholic over night so it will take time to recover it took me 12 months on in and out of aa to get sober and even after 5 months some time feel i should have one drink but i knowthe i will be back in the gutter again

Mountainmanbob

From what I have seen
Once these blackouts start
They never get better
Only worse
MM

sameer1974

when we know it why drink any use doing it

mburnsc

yeah life sucks drinking and sucks sober..thats my issue now. suicide is looking real nice these days as i dont see a way out...i live for the small moments of drinking where i can be with people and talk ****..but thats a very small part of my life. and the nights always end badly...blackouts, etc.

trachemys

Go see your doctor. In my case, one office visit, one prescription, I detoxed, and am sober and happy in 10 days. No side effects, no cravings, no withdrawal. NOt even thinking about drinking. Go.

Dee74

if you feeling desperate please do read the following links mburnsc

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html

It's easy to despair when we're convinced our life will always be like this...but change can and does happen.

stopping drinking and sticking with that might be all the change you need to kick start of a new life.

It won't happen overnight, but with a little patience and faith you'll be amazed how much things can change in a few years

Gottalife

My friend, I was in that exact same place. I can absolutley relate to what you are saying. Drinking might be hell, bit being sober was crap also in my experience. I reached the point you are close to, where I couldn't continue, and I couldn't stop either.

It was called end stage alcoholism. My brain damage was made worse by the fact that I didn't eat. I had malnutrition and had lost the ability to think or reason. The only normal thing to me was my alcoholic life.

I was very close to korsakovs, in fact at one point I was put in the korsakov ward. I had run out of time. It was like playing russian roullette with alcohol. I had no way of knowing which was the loaded drink that would push me over the edge.

I went to AA and benefited by some very close support, which might be harder to find in today's AA.

Inpatient detox seems to me to be a good path for you to follow today. It will only take a few days for the alcoholic craving to die down and your head to clear enough to start on a program of recovery.

Despite what those who haven't experienced this level of alcoholism say, your problem is not lack of will power. When a mind is so damaged that even the smallest decsions like what socks to wear, are difficult to deal with, when the brain has lost its reasoning power, when alcohol has done that much damage that the individual is reduced to a barely functioning human being, the idea that a little will power can fix it is ludicrous.

Try anything you can to avoid that first drink while you wait for rehab. Hang around the local AA as much as possible, go visit any community based alcohol clinics if there are any, see you doctor, do whatever you can to avoid the nex drink.

Especially tell your doctor how you have been feeling. he may be able to get the detox happening a bit sooner as it sounds like you are in a very life threatening situation.

My prayers and thoughts are with you.

imhooks

So you are trying to save your life by doing Oxy's?????????????????????????? Good luck with that.

fairlyuncertain

Agree--it can get better. If you can't wait for rehab, and can't stand where you are, go to the emergency room. It's open right now, and maybe they can help you get started. Good luck to you.

airwick

Is this why I want to exercise so much! lol Great advice, thanks.
I might just go for a bike ride now!


You have a great Fourth of July

Jupiters

I hope you're doing ok today. I'm with the others who say get to a Dr. and let them know what's going with you.

MrBen

I'm throwing my hat in with the "go see the doctors" crowd. If there's a problem, it's better to nip it in the bud. If there isn't, then you have peace of mind.

mburnsc

I actually went to the doctors yesterday to get some paperwork signed so I can get into rehab. He didn't offer me any medications or anything though. My doctor isn't the best unless you know what you want medication wise

I have to go back on Monday to get a tuberculosis test in order for the rehab paperwork to be completed. What should I ask him for?

I went out again last night. The whole time thinking it was a bad idea but I'm at the point I just want to blot out my life. The pain I feel sitting around at my ****** room in my dads house is just too much sometimes. I almost hope that something will happen to me when I go out on a run. I didn't get hurt or anything but made the biggest fool of myself. I had as nose bleed. From doing coke and didn't even realize until someone pointed it out to me. I don't remember much else but I won't be going back there again. I actually can't go to any bars by my house anymore because I've done ****** up things at each one.

I just want out....I'm teetering on the edge of wanting to get help and just wishing I won't wake up tomorrow. I've ****** up my entire life. No education. No job. No friends. I'm a zero.

Oh well. Thanks for listening. And caring.

mburnsc

And about the oxy comment. Its the only drug I do that keeps me at home and safe. I never do too much and it makes me happy. At least while I have some. I know its not a good life style but its somewhat keeping me sane lately...

I'm thinking of going to a meeting tomorrow. But I need to find the strength to go up to get a chip and to ask about a sponsor. Im such a chicken **** when I'm alone though. Wish I had a as meeting buddy.

Soberpotamus

That's a great move, going into rehab at this point. Hope that happens for you asap! Hang on for now. One day you're going to be so glad you chose to get help once you get some sober time behind you. And once you're sober, you can change those things you don't like... the no job, etc.

sugarbear1

ya gotta be willing to stop ingesting stuff....it all works better when completely sober.

you CAN rebuild your life!!!!!!

mburnsc

I really hope it works. I've tried to change my life so many times and it never worked. However I've never tried rehab or really gave AA a try.

Dee74

Hey mburnsc

I get that you feel like sobriety doesn't help anyway and that going out and taking oxys is the only way to make things bearable.

I used to feel that way too. My addiction sold me a lie - It persuaded me that I needed it to go on.

As long as you buy into that BS, it's gonna be really hard for anything to change, man.

I hope rehab pans out for you