zoey09

I don't drink or use as much as I have in the past, but addiction sure is progressive in the sense that it's destroying my mental health. When I drink or use now I can't stand myself in the days following. It takes me a good three or four days to start feeling somewhat human again. My depression, anxiety and paranoia are at an all time high.

I spend most of my evenings and weekends home by myself, hating myself. I'm involved in no healthy activities. I'm merely existing, I don't have any friends anymore, no one bothers to call me anymore. I bail out on family events. I don't take care of my body anymore, my health is suffering. I'm wasting away my twenties in this lonely existence, and I'm beyond sick of it. I hope this post can be a good reminder for myself when I'm tempted to use.

melki

Small steps, small steps. Decide what you can do differently tomorrow - call somebody, go somewhere, do something healthy? And whatever you do don't use because it will only make things worse.

Redviper

I lost almost all my friends when I got sober. Or at least I thought they were my friends. I sat around depressed at how my life turned out. Then I got up and started volunteering at charity events. I help the poor in our city to maintain their bicycles. It's a charity I enjoy. I've become an avid cyclist now and it's a great stress reliever. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there. You may be amazed at what you can accomplish.

queenofheartz09

I feel the same way. Drinking makes me so anti social so I'm going to focus on getting out and living healthy because I know I will feel so much better!

kepeb30

I have been anti social all my life. Its a curse. People like me but for some reason I feel uncomfortable around even my parants. I dont get it.....

owington

i started a thread on this exact topic yesterday and woke this morning vowing to stop feeling sorry for myself and get out and attend an aa meeting this week, something I never thought I'd do. I'm not saying that's what you should do but it's good advice from the people on here to get out the house and do something rather than waste your life feeling down and isolated. Hope things improve for you.

gettingbetter64

I could of wrote this. Going to AA meeting is a good idea to get you out of the house. If you meet people at a meeting then you already have something in common. I've been telling myself to stop feeling sorry for myself. I feel like I have know right to complain about something if I'm not doing anything to fix it. Take care ,

ronjohn

I can relate to this. I used to be very out going, but now I want to sit at home and drink. I think mixing up your cycle is big. Finding a hobby or something. I usually start going to the gym when I crave.

Dee74

Do you think you might be depressed Zoey?

D

Serotonin

I can relate Zoey, I have become more and more isolated over the years, avoided family, have no friends, feel though I'm just existing a lot.

The fact is I spend my entire adult life in a fog of booze and drugs. I have a vague sense of what I really like, who I really am, and how to enjoy life.

I am depressed, I don't feel comfortable being around most people.

I guess only during long term sobriety will I give myself the opportunity to heal and have the pieces come into place to where I know who I am and how to be happy.

Sometimes I feel so jaded by the way my life has turned out I don't know it will ever change, but I have to believe it can.

I am blessed with a wonderful son. He is the one thing I do know I love and enjoy.

zoey09

Well said, that is bang on how I feel.
Dee - yes I would say I'm depressed. I've recently started taking anti-depressants which are starting to make me feel a bit better. I know the key is long term sobriety, I just need to find the right combination of things so I can get there, and stay there : )