Change4life

Hi SR. Havent been here in awhile because I thought I had all my ducks in a row and didnt need any help. Time for me to think again.. I have known that I should stop drinking since I was 16. I am 53 now. Booze led to drugs and I ended up with a severe crack habit and addiction to zanax as well. In 2006 I lost my taste for drugs, I am not sure y or how that happened, but it was great. I kept drinking though pretty excessively I met someone we moved and I really never gave much more thought to drugging we both like to drink and it caused some problems between us, but we took heed and cut down ALOT!! Everything was going good till I caught pneumonia and legionares disease. My health has been bad since. may 2014 I went to ER with severe abdominal pain, I had chronic diarreah and vomiting. they did some images couldnt see anything sent me to specialist, more blood tests and it turns out I now have hep-c. The doctors tell me my liver is bad, if I stop drinking I might live. If I dont stop drinking I will die. Ok so now I am angry I like my beer and have no desire to quit, but I am certainly not ready to die. Im still drinking knowing this and really dont think I can stop. AA meetings are quite irritating to me as are the 12 steps so I use to go but I would go drunk till I realized I was drinking more just to get there. I just have no faith. I dont believe in believing in a higher power. It is a concept that I just cant wrap my brain around. I reunited with a friend from HS and she brought me to some meetings, but I cant even stand to be friends anymore cause of all the God stuff and the steps. Shes like a walking big book and its sooo annoying to me. (No offense to those in program) Its just me. I was going to say I dont know what to do, but it is more a case of what not to do and for me that means no booze

PurpleKnight

I can say I don't attend AA meetings either, and I don't have much of a faith in much in terms of spirituality at the moment . . . but I'm Sober!!

So it can be done without all those concerns you raised, it all starts and ends with a will to stop drinking, how we achieve that is different for everyone, so don't let all that stuff get in the way.

I also reached the point that my health was started to take a turn for the worst, and it came down to drinking or my health, there wasn't enough room for both in my life.

If nothing else SR is a great place for support on a daily basis!!

Cahabr

Sobriety is really much better than it seems from the outside. Don't feel like you're being punished by being forced to not drink, it really could end up being a life changer you enjoy. I know that's hard to see now after all the habits you've spent almost 4 decades with.

SnoozyQ

Hi there Changed4life :-)

It is what it is , in black and white .

You drink you die
You stop you live

The choice is yours hon , i know which one i took and will never regret it .

Your doctor is right .

Every day you continue to drink you are slowly rotting away every internal organ you have til the end It's virtually slow suicide .

Good luck , i really want you to choose the right option, you are worth it xxx

trachemys

Head down to the Secular Connections Forum. Lot's of like minded people there. Our situations are very similar.

ElleDee

Yeah, you don't have to do AA to get sober, that's for sure. I think you got a good reason to quit drinking and so do I. I'm sure many of us here have health issues from drinking too much for too long. I hope you find something that works for you and like the purpleknight said above, this is a great place to come for support. This great group of people sure have given me a lot of worthy advice and support!

Anna

Hi,

You have a chance to choose to live, and you know what you have to do to make that happen. I don't use AA either, and if it doesn't work for you, there are other ways to get and stay sober. I hope you find the motivation to do what you need to do.

least

I hope you can stop drinking and live.

Change4life

I am not the only one in my household that drinks and that has been an obstacle.

ScottFromWI

It is possible for anyone to get sober in any situation C4L. Doesn't matter where you live, who you live with, where you work (or don't) or even what recovery method you use. If you really want to quit you can. You can also live a very fulfilling, happy life without drinking- people here on SR are living proof. The question is do you want it enough. People do die from drinking too...every day. It's a horrible, painful way to die, I've watched it firsthand.

melki

Stop now and choose life. It is up to you and you only. You have to make it a priority above all else, without looking at others in your household, and putting all other issues on hold if necessary. There is nothing more important in your life than quitting alcohol right now.

Serenidad

I've lost 2 good friends and an aunt to liver failure in the past 2 years from alcoholism. They were all mothers in their mid-forties. So sad. I would hate to see that happen to you....or me for that matter. Hang in there! We can do this!!!!!!!!

Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery

aborkie

You may be able to reverse the damage. That should give you much incentive. You have an opportunity please don't waste it.

Magicalthinking

Please stop, change. To have learned now, while you still have a choice, before things are too far gone, is a gift. You can do it.

Dee74

Hey B - glad to see you again.
sorry to hear you're still struggling tho

sounds like life would be that much more awesome if you just once and for all surrendered and admitted you and booze, and drugs, is a toxic combo?

none of us is indestructible...and once you get to our age the collateral damage count really starts playing for keeps.

why not lay down your burden B.?
D

bemyself

I was very struck by your username - Change For LIFE.

It's so straightforward, but we miss it - especially while we're still drinking. And yeah, like Dee said, getting to a certain age and not being able to stop is bad enough; if you have HepC (as a friend of mine does), on top...well, it's a no-brainer.

Hopefully you can go to at least a 28 day rehab: it certainly helps when the old brain is stuck in drinking pathways.

trachemys

You might be the only one that's guaranteed death if you keep drinking.

IOAA2

In our lives we have choices and they can be good or bad for us. +35 years ago I chose AA, being the only show in town and haven’t looked back since. Since then and previously I don’t go to church except for weddings and funerals. I have a “Higher Power” and it’s not me. In fact when I stay out of the way things usually get better.
Unfortunately when an alcoholic continues to drink it always gets worse as we have a progressive disease that can end up killing us in a not nice way and sometimes quickly. Ending up with a “wet brain” in a mental hospital is not what many had dreams for nor being in prison for something we can’t recall the reason for.
I know we can’t scare an active alcoholic but positive options are all around us if we accept that we cannot drink in safety and get honest with ourselves about our drinking.

BE WELL

Marcher13

Change it seems to me that your option is to stop or not stop, there are no second rounds on this. Hep C can sometimes be cleared with proper treatment and no alcohol and non-prescribed drug use but there are no options to continue and have the hep C clear up.

You can do this with or without AA. Everyone has to make their own choice about what support they use, I'd urge you to start today. Like Trachy said the Secular Connections here on SR have a lot of ideas, I know because I have used them.

CRhoads

I am in liver failure and have alcoholic hepatitis. I was diagnosed 2 weeks ago. I found a 3-5 day detox as I couldn't do the 28 day thing. They detoxed me and gave me meds to help once I got home. No AA for me either, tried it before, hated it. So far I have 7 days sober. I am 48 and not ready to die so I'm giving it my best shot.
My sobriety has nothing to do with the people around me who drink. It's MY road, not their's. That's an excuse to avoid stopping. It's quit or die for me. I choose life. Best wishes.