KGray516

Hello,

I am now 33 days sober for the first time in 25 years. I am 55 years old, a widow as my husband was killed by a drunk driver. I barely escaped death myself. I despised myself , etc...all the things everyone has said ring to with me. I'm still in the 'pity party' stage with sporadic feelings of pride, but am exhausted from fighting the pull of the cravings. Any general ideas when these cravings might abate?

Thank you for your help::

Coldfusion

Welcome, KGray!

I call those cravings "the blues," and can often chase them away (or keep them at bay) by reading and posting here at SoberRecovery!

I know a fellow who has 28 years sober, and he still gets those feelings. That's why you need a program, and you've found a great forum to help start working on your program.

ScottFromWI

They did decrease in intensity and frequency pretty substantially a few months in for me. A big variable is how actively you are working a plan/program for your recovery as well. If you are simply "not drinking" there is a lot more opportunity for the cravings to come around, whereas those involved in any type of recovery plan ( AA, AVRT, Counseling, Rehab, etc ) generally learn to deal with them and get rid of them much sooner.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum KGray!!

Cravings seem to subside and weaken with time, the best thing is to plan loads of activities to take your mind of them, also SR is here for loads of support 24/7!!

Great to have you onboard!!

DisplacedGRITS

First off, let me ditto everything Coldfusion said! I've found that by working with and fellowshipping with other sober alcoholics, i have fewer and fewer of my symptoms of alcoholism. Cravings, their duration, intensity and even how and what you crave varies from person to person so how long they last really depends on you.

I understand what you're saying about still being on the pity pot and ego getting in the way of peace. I was there for sure! What has really helped me is acceptance and truth. It is a truth, an absolute, unwavering truth, in my life that i cannot drink alcohol and be happy. I can either enjoy my drinking or control it, never both. Accepting this in my life with my whole heart and being honest with myself liberated me. I no loner saw what i was losing but what i was gaining. I became willing and serenity flowed into my life.

It's not an easy thing to set one's ego aside. After all, our pumped up egos are what kept us afloat for so long. I know i survived on ego and self will run riot until i simply could not keep up with my ego anymore. I simply had no more energy to give to maintain that lifestyle.

Hard work pays off. I've learned to mould my life around my sobriety, not the other way around. Believe me, i am a lazy lady. If i can do this, anyone can!