Clean bill of health, ambivalent thoughts
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Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 596
Clean bill of health, ambivalent thoughts
So I've received back the results of blood work and a sonogram and apparently my liver is in relatively good health. I have many ambivalent thoughts. First, I don't even see how this is medically possible. I have bombarded my liver with unconscionable amounts of booze over the last 17-18 years, in addition to heavy drug use at times (mostly my college years, but significant cocaine use for 6-7 months a few years ago as well) in conjunction with the booze. I'm not sure I "deserve" a relatively clean bill of health after trying to destroy my body for many many years.
That said, I feel relieved that I seem to be in good health other than somewhat high cholesterol (I ate pure junk and crap when drinking/hungover so the source of that is not hard to figure out). However, this is a concern to my sobriety as my AV will be absolutely relentless with this new piece of information. It will seize on it mercilessly to urge me to drink again. I don't want to drink and I'm enjoying the benefits of sobriety. I just need to recognize those AV thoughts for what they are, as not coming from me and not in my best interests. Happy to be on Day 24, still a lot of work ahead of me. I will definitely bring this up at my IOP tonight and hope to discuss it candidly. When I decided to get sober, I said that there could be no information, no reason, no excuse, good enough for me to ever drink again. I need to stick to that.
Sorry for the long-winded post, just wanted to get things off my chest
That said, I feel relieved that I seem to be in good health other than somewhat high cholesterol (I ate pure junk and crap when drinking/hungover so the source of that is not hard to figure out). However, this is a concern to my sobriety as my AV will be absolutely relentless with this new piece of information. It will seize on it mercilessly to urge me to drink again. I don't want to drink and I'm enjoying the benefits of sobriety. I just need to recognize those AV thoughts for what they are, as not coming from me and not in my best interests. Happy to be on Day 24, still a lot of work ahead of me. I will definitely bring this up at my IOP tonight and hope to discuss it candidly. When I decided to get sober, I said that there could be no information, no reason, no excuse, good enough for me to ever drink again. I need to stick to that.
Sorry for the long-winded post, just wanted to get things off my chest
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Join Date: May 2014
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I suppose all of us wonder at one time or another if we have hit "rock bottom". You can always imagine things worse. When I first began the journey towards sobriety, I kept thinking that I couldn't be that bad since there were others who had it worse than me. Maybe I could turn things around and learn to drink in moderation.
Then I read that the only true "rock bottom" is death. Be smart and stop the madness now.
Then I read that the only true "rock bottom" is death. Be smart and stop the madness now.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 596
I suppose all of us wonder at one time or another if we have hit "rock bottom". You can always imagine things worse. When I first began the journey towards sobriety, I kept thinking that I couldn't be that bad since there were others who had it worse than me. Maybe I could turn things around and learn to drink in moderation.
Then I read that the only true "rock bottom" is death. Be smart and stop the madness now.
Then I read that the only true "rock bottom" is death. Be smart and stop the madness now.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Cape Cod, Mass
Posts: 18
I know this voice . Every physical I've had over the last 10 years , I anxiously awaited my liver results. I was waiting for the day my doc would tell me to slow down because my results were off. It never happened . I've been drinking relatively hard for 15 years and very hard for another 12 after that. The normal results just let me indulge until my next checkup. This year though, something clicked . I've had a new Doctor for the last 3 years. A real no ******** Polish lady trained in Europe . She wanted to know why I always made jokes about my function test and I fessed up about my true intake. She said " Your only fooling yourself Jackass, it will cry uncle eventually ". For some reason it woke me up a bit .
As I read here .....we can chose to drink this way for another 3-4 years , or live another 3-4 decades. Lets chose life. You can do this.
As I read here .....we can chose to drink this way for another 3-4 years , or live another 3-4 decades. Lets chose life. You can do this.
Good results can be bad if looked upon with indifference.
After 18 years you have a golden opportunity to go for broke re your heath.
Cholesterol could be a good area to start.
By looking hard at nutrition and exercise you will help to build a strong mind set
opposed to the use of alcohol and other debilitating drugs.........
After 18 years you have a golden opportunity to go for broke re your heath.
Cholesterol could be a good area to start.
By looking hard at nutrition and exercise you will help to build a strong mind set
opposed to the use of alcohol and other debilitating drugs.........
Remind your AV that a good result this time does not guarantee a good result next time if you were to return to old ways.
You've been given a gift SHF. Don't let your addiction talk you into squandering it
D
You've been given a gift SHF. Don't let your addiction talk you into squandering it
D
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Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 596
I agree. Talked about it at IOP tonight and really didn't have the urges I expected today. No desire to drink right now. I know where my health was headed if I continued to drink that way regardless of today's results
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