Starting... somewhere
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Bayview, WI
Posts: 1
Starting... somewhere
Hello All,
As most (well ALL) of you... I am starting, in the middle of or at the end of recovery.. but does recovery from an addiction ever end?
I am a mother of two small children, I slowly because addicted to pain medications after the birth of my second child. During my second pregnancy I was going through a divorce with the man I married after a 10 year courtship through high school and college after he decided to cheat on me, which I did find out about two weeks after I found out I was pregnant with my second child. After giving birth to my second child, I had many pain problems with my ovaries, when my period came back, clogged ducts while breast feeding and normal usage of pain meds turned into a "I can't wait to get home from work and take one of my 5mg percocets" to a 120mg percocet a day habit two years later.
I Realized... its time to get clean. The drug was taking over my personality, how I raised and spoke to my children and obviously was taking over my life financially.. and as a single mother, I do not have much wiggle room financially.. so that meant dipping into retirement savings, credit cards and whatever money my father would give me to get by on... which was a lot.
After my divorce I was very fortunate. We sold our home while still married and I while I was still pregnant, about 6 months.. SO my father bought me a 2 bedroom condo in a very nice area in suburban America... and my 1st little boy who was about 15 months old at the time, were nicely settled into our new condo/home by the time the new baby came. So my father paid my rent, paid my bills and financially support me straight for several, several months until I was back up on my feet and back to work after the baby was born...
I took advantage of my father the most, which disappoints me the most finically. I took advantage of the love my children give me unconditionally which also disapointmented me. I let a bad situation and bad life event completely ruin me. Take over me. I turned to escapes because I didn't want to deal with my life... which I am sure is the start of many peoples stories.
Now I live at home with my now 3 year old and 18 month old little boys, still not working and still financially supported by my father.. and still semi addicted opiates.
I have bought suboxone off the street... I started on a strip a day and I am now down to 1/4 of a strip in the morning of suboxone every morning with two valiums and some ibuprofen. Far cry from what I use to do.
I still take opiates tho, I will take 30mg of percocet in the afternoon or evening to "chill".. again, these are all far cries from what i use to do... but I am NOT clean. I want to be there and in my heart I feel like I am going in the right direction..
Its getting there and finishing that seems to be my hurdle and problem.
What to do?
As most (well ALL) of you... I am starting, in the middle of or at the end of recovery.. but does recovery from an addiction ever end?
I am a mother of two small children, I slowly because addicted to pain medications after the birth of my second child. During my second pregnancy I was going through a divorce with the man I married after a 10 year courtship through high school and college after he decided to cheat on me, which I did find out about two weeks after I found out I was pregnant with my second child. After giving birth to my second child, I had many pain problems with my ovaries, when my period came back, clogged ducts while breast feeding and normal usage of pain meds turned into a "I can't wait to get home from work and take one of my 5mg percocets" to a 120mg percocet a day habit two years later.
I Realized... its time to get clean. The drug was taking over my personality, how I raised and spoke to my children and obviously was taking over my life financially.. and as a single mother, I do not have much wiggle room financially.. so that meant dipping into retirement savings, credit cards and whatever money my father would give me to get by on... which was a lot.
After my divorce I was very fortunate. We sold our home while still married and I while I was still pregnant, about 6 months.. SO my father bought me a 2 bedroom condo in a very nice area in suburban America... and my 1st little boy who was about 15 months old at the time, were nicely settled into our new condo/home by the time the new baby came. So my father paid my rent, paid my bills and financially support me straight for several, several months until I was back up on my feet and back to work after the baby was born...
I took advantage of my father the most, which disappoints me the most finically. I took advantage of the love my children give me unconditionally which also disapointmented me. I let a bad situation and bad life event completely ruin me. Take over me. I turned to escapes because I didn't want to deal with my life... which I am sure is the start of many peoples stories.
Now I live at home with my now 3 year old and 18 month old little boys, still not working and still financially supported by my father.. and still semi addicted opiates.
I have bought suboxone off the street... I started on a strip a day and I am now down to 1/4 of a strip in the morning of suboxone every morning with two valiums and some ibuprofen. Far cry from what I use to do.
I still take opiates tho, I will take 30mg of percocet in the afternoon or evening to "chill".. again, these are all far cries from what i use to do... but I am NOT clean. I want to be there and in my heart I feel like I am going in the right direction..
Its getting there and finishing that seems to be my hurdle and problem.
What to do?
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome from a fellow wisconsinite. My DOC was alcohol, but we all understand addiction well here at SR. You'll find a wealth of info as well as support here. Have you considered meetings or some kind of outpatient program at all to help kick the remaining drugs for good?
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