Serenidad

I'm SURE I'm not alone....but I have clearly identified my drinking triggers as anger and anxiety. If I could get rid of those things I really feel I would have a much better chance at staying sober. (In other words, if I move to a deserted island) :-/ Today is day 4 for me though so I am on my way....I hope and pray!

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CAPTAINZING2000

Is your anger justified? Do you try and problem solve in a healthy manner or just explode?
What are you anxious about? Are they normal concerns?

Notimetoloose

Mine as well, actually, in the end all emotions good and bad were my triggers.
This getting sober thing is a huge learning opportunity. learning how to deal with emotions and feelings sober can be challenging....just as well I like a challenge.

Dee74

Keep posting here serenidad...especially when you feel vulnerable

D

sobercalmwishes

anger and anxiety, excitement, elation, bored, tired, awake.....I am SO with you. Anger, especially the righteous kind, like when I've been unjustly wronged, which happened to me a lot for a long time because I was in really bad relationship, so I know how you feel! Great job identifying it, and CONGRATS ON DAY 4!!! that is HUGE!! keep posting here, you'll feel better!

Serenidad

Captain, I really not sure about the anger. I just know when I feel threatened in any way, I can feel my blood pressure rising, my face getting red and then the next thing I want to do is go get a drink. It's like "fight or flight" but I FLY...to a bar. Ugh. I am going to try to start dealing with anger in a healthier manner. Maybe prayer or a brisk walk around the block?

The sad thing is.....I'm really not angry at anyone but MYSELF! :-(

As far as the anxiety....I have an anxiety disorder (like half of the world) and again, I need some healthier coping mechanisms. Tonight...I reached for my iphone and posted on SR instead of putting poison in my body!

Remarkably...I feel better! I'm glad I'm not sitting in a bar right now. I'm tired...sick and tired of being sick and tired....

Thx for replying to my post! :-)

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Serenidad

I like that you like the challenge! That's an interesting way to look at it! I think I will try to enjoy the challenge too! Hmmmm. Maybe this getting sober thing doesn't have to be miserable... Thx!!!

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Serenidad

Thx sobercalmwishes! I totally understand....I was unjustly wronged for the first 18 years of my life by my own mother! Now I am quick to anger, slow to trust, full of anxiety and ALWAYS have my guard up. It's amazing how much my own mother screwed me up! :-( I AM not gonna let her win anymore though!!!

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desypete

i had all these emotions running through me for most of my life, anger was a huge problem for me. its a lot less these days but there are still moments when i can get angry
when i am angry there isnt any postive thoughts going on in my head its all rubbish going around like a washing machine and out it would spew at anyone who was in my path

i got rid of this thanks to my sponsors help who talked with me and still does today and he points my thinking into how it should be and not when my head tells me it is

i had justified anger as well but i could see in time there is no justification for anger in most walks of life there are certain exceptions but not many

keep posting when your angry or get a pen and paper and write down what your angry at
if your close to bursting point then try a trick i used to do
pop out to the shed and get a hammer and just hammer something as hard as you can lol it works believe me
good luck to you

least

Anxiety was a big trigger for me too, and my anger was at myself for being such a loser. Now that I don't drink, I don't feel angry at myself anymore.

ForgetfulKevin

Serenidad, I think you have a pretty good perspective on this already!

One suggestion would be to practice emotion-surfing, similar to the urge-surfing for cravings that is often mentioned at SR.

Maybe journalling would help for persistent topics bound up with those emotions.

Maybe meditation would help, even if it's something as basic as deep slow breathing with the attention focused on the belly or feet or at least not on the head with its roiling thoughts.

RE: anger -- a workbook I looked through a while ago on that topic had the core idea that a lot of anger is bound up with control somehow, e.g., we get mad about being controlled by someone else or externals, or conversely, we are mad about things not going our way or people not behaving "as they should".

As for me, something I still need to work on is to hold my tongue [and restrain my typing fingers -- and even adjust the vibe I'm broadcasting] and at least not make things worse while I'm hot-headed.

It has been a long time since I broke something out of frustration, though. Hmm, but I do have a hammer and a block of wood I could use -- thanks, desypete!

I hope these random notions help!

Serenidad

Wow! Great advice everyone! It has really helped me! I have a hammer too!!! Haha.

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zerothehero

Self-acceptance, gratitude, loving-kindness, non-judgement, observing the emotions without fighting them, knowing thoughts and feelings come and go... these are all about mindfulness. I would encourage you to google "mindful recovery" to explore these themes. It changed my life, and I've been dealing with abuse, trauma, pain, anger... for decades. It's not magic and it takes work but it's not a pill and it's not a bottle, either.

neferkamichael

Serenidad, 4 days sober is FANTASTIC, congratulations, rootin for ya.

PurpleKnight

Great Job on 4 Days!!

For me I needed to add a few things into my daily routine to combat stress, I now go for long walks after I get home from work, make sure I'm getting enough food and sleep (this one is tough early on), and drink plenty of herbal teas.

We just need to find new ways of beating stress!!

letitgo

Just ride out the wave of anxiety, anger, depression and cravings. They last 10 mins to an hour. Do something to change your mindset. Go for a walk, play solitaire, plant flowers and anything to keep you going. Use your 5 senses and do something to make it through. You can do it. We are all rooting for you.

biminiblue

Pet an animal for twenty seconds, really focus on how the animal is feeling.

Take ten deep breaths, from your belly. (This should take you about two minutes.)

Fight or flight involves breath-holding. If you've ever startled a bunny, you've seen them become completely still, including breath-holding. We do the same thing, only we do it for things that aren't actually worth using that response. Breath-holding leads to excessive carbon dioxide in the blood which increases heart-rate - your body is literally trying to oxygenate blood without oxygen. Then the alarms start sounding...*Danger!! Danger!! Breathe!!!!*

That's the anxiety cycle. That's why meditation, yoga, mindful breathing (taught in CBT) are so helpful. They are all centered on the Breath.

Nuudawn

Ditto on both Serindad. I won't get too much into the details but last night I ended up screaming "hungy, angry, lonely, tired...hungry, angry..lonely..tired..do you get me???"..like some demented chant at an uninvited guest in my driveway. I didn't drink though!

I just read "the Dance of Anger" and really got a lot out of it. I think I might have to read it again though.

biminiblue

LOVED "The Dance of Anger" - the same author wrote "The Dance of Intimacy" too...and one other that I can't remember.

All three I read in the 90s. Very good!