I'm all over the place.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 415
I'm all over the place.
Sigh.. Back again with my tail between my legs to tell you all about another horrible relapse.
For those who don't know, I went into a residental treatment program for drug addiction in january. A little less than a month ago I got kicked out after being there for 5 months because I decided to sneak out my window one night, go to the store, steal cough medicine, and bring it back to get high. I eventually got caught.
When I got discharged I ended up in a homeless shelter because my dad refused to take me back in. I was determinded to stay clean until I saw the first guy nodding out at the table. So I used heroin for a few days while at the shelter until my dad had a change of heart and agreed to let me live with him as long as I don't use in his house, bring anyone else in his house, or get arrested.. "easy enough" I thought.
I decided I wouldn't continue using heroin while at my Dad's house because I was turning my life around... So I got black-out drunk the night that I got there. For some reason at this point I had my self convinced that I could still control my using yet I found it nessecary to sell my iPod touch so I could buy drugs my third day back at my Dad's house.
Everything was seemingly going ok - I had outpatient set up, I had a job interview set up.. Everything was moving along.. Until I went out one night and decided to try doing crystal meth again..
I ended up shooting that stuff for 4 days straight with a dirty needle, missing outpatient and my job interview. And when I finally did come back home my dad kicked me out and I ended up in the hosptial a few hours later because I was causing a scene at the park because I was so paranoid.
Two days after the hospitalization my dad dropped me off at the salvation army. I stayed for two weeks but left today because I 100% do not agree with cristianity and I do not believe in jesus christ.
So right now I'm anxiously waiting for my mom to get home to find out that I'm not in rehab anymore. /:
For those who don't know, I went into a residental treatment program for drug addiction in january. A little less than a month ago I got kicked out after being there for 5 months because I decided to sneak out my window one night, go to the store, steal cough medicine, and bring it back to get high. I eventually got caught.
When I got discharged I ended up in a homeless shelter because my dad refused to take me back in. I was determinded to stay clean until I saw the first guy nodding out at the table. So I used heroin for a few days while at the shelter until my dad had a change of heart and agreed to let me live with him as long as I don't use in his house, bring anyone else in his house, or get arrested.. "easy enough" I thought.
I decided I wouldn't continue using heroin while at my Dad's house because I was turning my life around... So I got black-out drunk the night that I got there. For some reason at this point I had my self convinced that I could still control my using yet I found it nessecary to sell my iPod touch so I could buy drugs my third day back at my Dad's house.
Everything was seemingly going ok - I had outpatient set up, I had a job interview set up.. Everything was moving along.. Until I went out one night and decided to try doing crystal meth again..
I ended up shooting that stuff for 4 days straight with a dirty needle, missing outpatient and my job interview. And when I finally did come back home my dad kicked me out and I ended up in the hosptial a few hours later because I was causing a scene at the park because I was so paranoid.
Two days after the hospitalization my dad dropped me off at the salvation army. I stayed for two weeks but left today because I 100% do not agree with cristianity and I do not believe in jesus christ.
So right now I'm anxiously waiting for my mom to get home to find out that I'm not in rehab anymore. /:
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 415
Originally Posted by least 
So what is your plan now to get clean? Can you go back to rehab or maybe outpatient? I hope this will be your last relapse.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 415
Originally Posted by Dee74
I'm sorry to read this Jake.
I gotta ask - is all this worth the high?
It doesn't seem that way to me?
D
I gotta ask - is all this worth the high?
It doesn't seem that way to me?
D
But if you asked me that same question while I'm about to stick that needle in my arm I would say:
Absolutely 100% YES.
That's the insanity of my life. I know I need to not let myself get anywhere near that point because at a certain point nothing anyone can say will have any affect.
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